AIBU to think the pressure for ‘older’ women to exercise is wrong?

[StitchInLime]

So as a woman in my late 40s, I keep getting told (via ads, from some people in my life, via tv and so on) that I need to do strength exercises and cardio if I don’t want to suffer later in life. And yet, it’s the woman I know who did f-all exercise at my age and before who seem to be thriving in their 60s/70s (eg my aunts) and the ones who did more exercise at my age now have issues with knees, hips etc. I find it difficult to find the motivation in light of this. If you have opposite examples, please share as I really need to motivate myself!

OP, I started exercising at 48, having done nothing for 30 years. I'm now 60, run Parkrun, cycle and practice karate. I can run 10k in just over an hour on a good day.

I started because my natural energy levels started to drop, and I needed to work on my fitness to boost them. Also I found I needed to work on my flexibility and core strength. if I was going to stand any hope of keeping working full time.

Perhaps the older ladies with damaged joints you know, didn't have access to good quality running shoes and kit with proper support that are available today.

I agree with this.
Strong and supple friend in her seventies does strength training. Strong MiL who is almost 88 does yoga and Pilates, and swims. 85 year old friend also does yoga and moves well, fit and strong.
All of these women have reasonably active lives but not in the sense of running or cardio at all. MiL has had both hips replaced but neither of the others have hip or knee issues.

I think people's attitudes towards exercise are innate to some degree. We like to attach some moral superiority to it but I think that's wrong. I remember as a slim child in infants school I absolutely detested PE...some girls absolutely loved it. I'd have rather have sat through a maths lesson or read a book. I still hate exercise. I can't run...even as a four year old I remember I couldn't run like my peers. There are exercises I hate less than others, but I'd still rather not do it. That's not a moral failing

I agree with @Thepeopleversuswork . It’s possible to hold two viewpoints simultaneously!

There has never been such pressure on women to look great as they age. I’m late fifties, and my mothers cohort had mostly “given up” by early forties with a few exceptions (who were very frowned upon) 😂

I have various disabilities that have always made it impossible for me to participate in a lot of popular exercise, but I do what I can because I want to stay independent and minimise pain.

For me this means no alcohol, no cigarettes, plenty of sleep, a BMI as close to 25 as I can manage. I walk when I’m able to (depending on pain level) and do gentle exercise at home.

I am talking about people that run classes often dominated by middle aged, unfit people, encouraging them to throw themselves between intense exercises with no regard to their form. Being middle aged myself now I can pull my back just rolling over in bed! The thought of the circuits I completed ten years ago brings me out in a sweat.

Perhaps you frequent more salubrious venues than I used to. Perhaps you’re much younger than me., but my anecdotal experience is that unless you are already fit and flexible you need to be mindful of the exercise you choose as to our get older.

People can't seem to understand the difference between seeing sone peoples lives and seeing what's happening at the population level

It's like throwing a dice twice and getting a six both times and extrapolating to say that it's nonsense to believe a 1 is as likely as a 6

On average those who exercise more live healthier and longer than those who don't. Those who exercise more cost the state far less on average in terms of medical and social care.

And the differences are quite marked

Again- if it's hard to understand , think about taking a flight. You have to chose - the one with a 1 in 10 chance of crashing or the one with a 1 in 100 - which would you chose ?

Exercise and diet choices are just the same but less immediate - yes sometimes the 1 in 100 plane will crash taking all with it , and most times the people on the 1 in 10 plane will be safe , but the 1 in 100 crash plane is still your best shot at living

OP it is your choice obviously but strength training will decrease your risk of osteoporosis.
You also lose a percentage of your muscle mass each year past your mid-thirties so doing some sort of strength based training helps mitigate that. It's not about appearance if you don't want it to be, it's about ageing well and having the maximum possible number of healthy years.
Not moving is a killer.

the ones who did more exercise at my age now have issues with knees, hips etc

But what exercise were they doing? I bet it wasn't hiking, pilates/yoga and strength training.

Probably stuff like running/jogging, squash, high-impact aerobics classes, which were more in fashion in the last few decades.

My grandmothers didn't 'exercise' but they walked, gardened, carried shopping bags etc, were always on their feet and moving. I have a desk job, so I go to extra effort to walk, lift and move.

Aside: As a S Asian, I find very little publicity about how important it is for women of certain ethnicities to keep their weight down to avoid diabetes and other genetic diseases. Type 2 diabetes affects even slim and active people in my family, as it does most Asians. Your average GP doesn't seem to know much about this.

@Comedycook , I agree , I’m 50 and I love the idea of exercise, but I hate the thought of the gym . I just hope walking a lot is enough.

They’re suggesting you exercise sensibly, not run marathons. To age well you need to maintain flexibility through your full range of motion so that you’re not stiff and sore. You need good cardiovascular health for your heart and your brain. Many people don’t understand the role muscle movement plays in returning de-oxygenated blood back through the circulatory system. If you are mobile (walking) you are far less likely to suffer from depression and of course some gentle weight-bearing exercise is encouraged to maintain bone health. Also being able to get out and about fosters a sense of community and connection that is vital for the elderly.

I think actually diet and lifestyle is more important. Light exercise such as walking daily is good for cardiovascular health. Minimising alcohol, not smoking and eating a healthy, balanced diet is good for you. Minimising trans fats and unprocessed foods.

At the end of the day, wer all going to die, so live your life doing what makes you happy, we aren't here for long.

But it’s much better to do the second, third or 25th best way of exercising than not exercising at all.

Perfect is the enemy of good.

Like all the running hate on here. Im 46 and can’t get into weight training. However, I have just restarted running and I’m loving it.

But if I followed the advice given on this thread, I should def not be running, despite the fact that it’s load-bearing, has a huge impact on my mental health (massive marker for ageing), makes me feel younger (again, surprisingly impactful on physical health, see recent TILDA studies) and will hugely reduce my likelihood of a developing a metabolic disease.

Every reputable expert in the field will tell you that the best exercise is the one that you enjoy most. Adherence is far more important than anything else. Better a life time of park runs and HIIT classes than a couple of months of weight training.

This. Some people seem to imply that it’s the 'society' who won‘t leave women alone even as they get older, just because doctors recommend maintaining a healthy weight or some fitness influencers promote weight training or whatever.
Personally, I would at least try to stay as fit and healthy as reasonably possible (‚reasonably‘ because I wouldn’t want to start obsessing over diets, for example).
Yes, we don‘t have full control over how we age. That doesn‘t mean that we might as well completely give up on having any control whatsoever.
Sadly, I have seen what this kind of attitude leads to in my own family.

My friend works in a care home. She said it’s obvious which patients were fit and used their bodies when they were younger compared with those who did not. That always stuck in my mind. I’m mid-40s and am working on my strength, flexibility and balance through a lot of yoga. I absolutely know I’m much fitter now because of it.

@Lentilweaver yes, this is really important.
Depressingly health outcomes in old age are mainly dependant on how poor you are followed closely by your ethnic background.
Being active and exercising are important for physical and mental health and wellbeing but there's a world of difference in being of the right social group with the leisure and money to play tennis three or four times a week, or having to stack shelves and worry about your heating bill at 67.
I live in awe of the really old ladies I see at the pool or classes, but most of them are just extremely lucky in their lives.

Do you drive a car? Do you do so for short distances (under half an hour's walk)? Start with things such as less car journeys, every step helps.

It’s very important to do resistance exercise as you age to maintain muscle mass and bone density. Ensuring a good diet with enough protein also is essential. Cardio is also necessary imo, although you don’t need to run for miles, unless you want to do course!

If you want to maintain functional fitness as you age and not be confined to your armchair in your 80’s then you do have to exercise. Use it or lose it!

Anaesthetist who looks after a lot of frail elderly people (mostly women) with hip fractures. Don’t want that in my future if possible.

I have lost a few stone and go to gym twice a week for strength training and HIIT type cardio.
I’m still significantly overweight and sure I definitely don’t look good- clothed or unclothed. But I feel so much better, have reduced my chance of developing diabetes and no longer need blood pressure medication.

The NHS is being overwhelmed as people live longer but less healthy lives. When not try things out for a while and see if you feel better too.

Are you happy about all the rubbish about the menopause and even the peri menopause which has now become the latest target for big pharma to capitalise on?

Many of the problems women claim to be suffering from are not down to the menopause directly but are a result of letting he make es go and becoming fat and unhealthy.

Reminding women to stay healthy by exercising is a great idea in my book.

In mine, it's the ones who are luckier with their health who do the most exercise. Correlation ≠ causation! We all did a ton of gym, sports & so on through our younger years. From what I can see, it doesn't protect you from the effects of ageing - we all age, each of us differently.

I should think there are advantages to focussed exercise in old age ... if your body permits it. The amount you did before getting old probably has minimal effect on your capacity

YABU. It doesn't take a lot, just 2 sessions of strength training is enough to keep muscle. You don't have to be in the gym everyday. Walking is good but not enough as there is no resistance involved. The statistics of mortality after a fall for the over 65s are quite horrifying. If you have good skeletal muscle you will recover more quickly.

there's so much research that exercising makes a massive difference to your quality of life.
https://www.washingtonpost.com/wellness/2023/02/20/aging-weight-training-health/

I exercise for mental health and hope that by doing yoga, I'm flexible and strong and have reasonable balance to prevent falls as I get older. If you don't exercise, that's fine, though most people benefit from moderate activity as they get older.

Staying active is better for you than not. Not sure there's much debate about this. High impact activities like running are not good for you especially as you age, but anything that keeps you strong is. That could be weigh training or something like yoga where your body acts as the weight.

The most amazing woman I've ever seen was a 55 year old yoga teacher. I honestly thought she was 30. So strong, supple and graceful. If I wasn't a lazy toad I'd do an hour's yoga every day. As it is, I go to the gym and try and walk as much as I can.