AIBU to think the pressure for ‘older’ women to exercise is wrong?

[StitchInLime]

So as a woman in my late 40s, I keep getting told (via ads, from some people in my life, via tv and so on) that I need to do strength exercises and cardio if I don’t want to suffer later in life. And yet, it’s the woman I know who did f-all exercise at my age and before who seem to be thriving in their 60s/70s (eg my aunts) and the ones who did more exercise at my age now have issues with knees, hips etc. I find it difficult to find the motivation in light of this. If you have opposite examples, please share as I really need to motivate myself!

@GarlicMaybeNot nope, nothing. She never worked and was rich. Her husband was the active one - when he died in a car accident she basically sat and rotted.

Walking is itself a weight bearing exercise so will serve to ward off osteoporosis and yoga and swimming will both tone other muscles plus maintain suppleness .

Your mum has a perfect fitness regime here for maintaining her health and fitness as she ages .

Worth noting there is a difference between striding out for a couple of miles and ambling round the shops .

While I'm here pouring cold water over everyone's sense of self-determination: when old ladies fall & break their hips, it's not the fall that breaks the hip. It's the hip breaking that causes the fall.

And yet sometimes people do just trip or lose their balance and fall, and break a hip. That's why falls prevention and balance exercises are so important.

My grandmother was in hospital, woke up, forgot she was not in her own bed, fell out of the bed - and broke her hip. My friend slipped on ice - and broke her hip.

You do you, but you’re dreaming if you think you don’t need to exercise.

I love exercise, it makes me happy and fit and look good, and I hope that will last into my dotage.

Nearly every woman over 60 has lived a physically demanding life.

What an odd statement. Decidedly not true - perhaps it was 50 years ago.

Genetics is interesting. Even when I was a four year old child I was the worst in my class at PE. I was not fat. I was a normal skinny child. How can you be so bad at sport and exercise at such a young age compared to your peers if it's not genetics.

it's crazy to assume being fit & healthy will guarantee a bouncy old age.

Nobody has said it's a guarantee. Of course old age catches up with us all in the end, but remaining fit and active for as long as possible will, for the vast majority of us, make a huge difference.

If your mum was gardening in her eighties I would say she did bloody excellently, quite frankly.

I wish exercise made me feel happy...I hate every second of it.

I don't think it's specific to women but people that come into sports at a greater age, having spent most of their lives not doing sport are often at risk of over training. That isn't the fault of exercise though, that's just people lacking discipline, experience and conditioning

The main insight from this thread is the lengths people will go to to be sneery and dismissive about things they don’t want to do. It’s several pages ago now, but one poster pointed out that whatever exercise gives you enough motivation to keep doing it consistently, is the best one for you. She was absolutely spot on.

But you can’t kid yourself that you can do nothing and be totally fine until you’re 93. Well, you can. But you aren’t seeing through some great anti-middle aged woman conspiracy, you’re just justifying your own lack of self care.

I don't particularly love it either, but I do love the benefits (both mental and physical), so I force myself to do it anyway.

I think PE at school has put a huge number of people off exercise. I'm absolutely crap at sport...PE highlighted that fact.

The older people that I know that have aged the best, they definitely are ones that kept active. I don’t mean high intensity exercise but they were the types to walk everywhere and were on their feet doing things, gardening, cleaning etc. Sitting about is the worst thing to do. There is also the other extreme, I’ve know women that jog and do loads of exercise and maintain a really low body weight, generally these types seem to suffer from bone breaks and look very haggard. I would aim for a sensible amount of exercise, walking, swimming and general activity.

Agree. I'm older than that.

Swimming and yoga both build muscle strength, yoga is weight bearing for bone health and the swimming is great for cardio health. So your mum has less need to lift weights or go to the gym.
But if she weren't already doing those things then it would be a good idea for her to do some sort of weight bearing/strength training and that might include lifting weights.

I think you have missed the point. I's not about how you look. It's about building stamina and bone health to avoid premature frailty when you are older which will enable you to maintain your independence for longer

It is great if people are ABLE to exercise. I have had CFS/ME for decades, also have osteoporosis. "Pushing through" certainly leads to crashes for me. When I am moderately OK I try to climb stairs for exercise, but I get back to square one so easily. I was ill three weeks ago and have been housebound ever since. It will take me a while to tackle the stairs again, but I will when I can.

I would encourage anyone to exercise if they are able. I used to love Pilates but can't do it any more. I miss it.

I honestly think it's the luck of the draw. I was really fit in my 40's and into my 50's Covid really messed me up I now have Asthma, Osteoporosis and some extra weight. All my joints are trying to do me in. I love going for a walk and then pay for it later with aching hips, knees and ankles. I'm now 60.
I spent my life fit and slim, Water skiing, swimming, chasing kids, Zumba and yoga. and eating healthy fresh food.

I love walking and recommend it to everyone who is able. I walk a lot but that's because I don't drive and have no choice. Well, I could get the bus but if it's walkable I'll walk it as will the dc. I've walked 56 miles this week which is pretty average. I'm pretty rare amongst the rest of the parents at school with their 2 car households and they think I'm either nuts or admirable 🤷🏼‍♀️ It helps keep me mentally healthy as well as physically and I feel out of sorts when I'm unable to do my usual walks.
My mum is 84 and disabled but does seated Pilates and Zumba weekly and walks with her rollator. My grandad was walking daily until he died at 89.
I'm cursed with bad knees and a bad back and dodgy knees are a family heirloom along with heart disease. I'm 47, BMI of 21.7, cholesterol is 3.4, BP is great, resting heart rate great, glucose great and I am determined to keep it that way. I don't go to the gym, I just walk. I appreciate that I'm privileged to be able to walk daily in safety and am healthy enough to do it. There needs to be more exercise options for those not as lucky with better facilities and community centres with accessible exercise for all. The government need to do more with regards to prevention and eradicate health inequalities.

I'm living by my DFs mantra of use it or loose it. As we age if you do not keep active and strong you will loose your ability to do things that you could do in your younger years. High impact things like running might not be beneficial as we age but it does not mean all forms of exercise should be abandoned. Also it is not just about the physical aspects the benefits of exercise to our mental health are equally important.

I am in my 40s and wish I was able to do more exercise! I have severe arthritis and the damage was definitely caused by excessive running over the past 20 years. I go to the gym but I’m definitely in a worse state mobility wise than my grandmothers who never exercised and smoked like chimneys, ate an unhealthy Scottish diet but lived to old age with no health issues. They did walk a lot though. But on the other hand I have perfect blood pressure/cholesterol etc. I suppose we will know more when those of us in our 40s and 50s who have been gym goers for the past 30 years get older.

Older women need to exercise but it doesn't necessarily need to be at the same intensity as the people in the ads on tv. I went through a period of exercising daily, about 45-50 min each time, and my joints and muscles always ached, I was always tired, but my agility didn't improve at all, rather it decreased, I was swaying more, tripping more, getting sick more. Looking at my routine, it wasn't something anyone would call "overdoing it" but it was too much for ME. I downgraded the intensity of my exercise and that was a lot better in terms of my overall daily capability: some walking, some yoga, some pilates, some light weights, etc. So I think, do what works for YOUR body. Exercise, cardio, strength training are all good, but at the level that fits YOU.

I'm mid forties with two decades of thyroid disease under my belt, and I enjoy all the aches and pains I get from exercise as they mask all the underlying aches and pains I have from chronic illness. It's much easier for me to mentally dismiss the pain when I know it's from the run I went on yesterday or the heavier weights I lifted or new exercise I tried in the gym the other day. When I don't have any of those exercise related pains masking the other ones I start to worry! I'd find chronic illness much more stressful if I wasn't exercising, even if it means I need more naps to recover.

when old ladies fall & break their hips, it's not the fall that breaks the hip. It's the hip breaking that causes the fall.

@GarlicMaybeNot I've not heard that at all. It's the impact of falling that can break a bone, especially if someone happens to have some osteoporosis.

I went through a period of exercising daily, about 45-50 min each time, and my joints and muscles always ached, I was always tired, but my agility didn't improve at all, rather it decreased, I was swaying more, tripping more, getting sick more. Looking at my routine, it wasn't something anyone would call "overdoing it" but it was too much for ME. I downgraded the intensity of my exercise and that was a lot better in terms of my overall daily capability: some walking, some yoga, some pilates, some light weights, etc. So I think, do what works for YOUR body. Exercise, cardio, strength training are all good, but at the level that fits YOU.

@aloris Yes and what you were doing was quite a lot to be honest (I qualified and worked for a while in fitness.) You need a day or two off/active recovery a week. Also you need to work up to that level of exercise. And your nutrition has to be right for it. You could build it up slowly now if you wanted. Fitness can be progressive and can be improved gradually unless someone has a severe disability or something. The person has to be motivated to do that though.

Personally I find it hard to motivate myself to do the basics- I go through motivated phases and then less motivated times.

I suppose the basics are all that's needed for preventative health purposes; bit of cardio, strength training to maintain one's strength, etc.