Sleep revenge procrastination - is it real and how to fix it?

[Kirova]

Someone introduced me to this concept earlier in the week and I identified with it so much! I feel like all my time is so full at the moment - I have a 5 year old and a 4 year old and I love them to bits, but it is hard work sometimes. I'm 30 weeks pregnant with #3 and due to go on mat leave early in the new year, but still working FT at the moment.

I feel like every day is non-stop. Up, house jobs, kids, school, work - work is busy and a bit full on right now, and hasn't stopped being busy since early spring - pick up kids, dinner/activities/socialising in some order, bedtime, housework, catch up on emails. And then I should go to bed. But I end up just wasting time and eventually it's 12 or 1am and I'm still not in bed with the light off.

Then, I can't even get a decent night's sleep because I can't get comfortable or I keep needing to get up and pee (X 20), or I've got heartburn... Joys of pregnancy, haha.

I need to do better! How can I change?! 🫣

01.00 ish apparently. They're now airborne which is a great relief, and the parent who was going to pick them all up still can, so I'm hoping he'll be back by about 2.30 latest. Should still mean I can get a few hours in!

Best of luck!

I'm the same with reading @minipie . You think it's a good and relaxing thing to do, and then oops, it's 2am and you're halfway through the book!

Hm, can I hang out here too?
I second everything that's been said already.
I usually close my laptop for work about now, and resent having to work late so much that I 'steal' the time back ‐from myself!?
I do find that an audio book can help if I'm really disciplined.

I’m almost ready for bed. In that danger zone of being very almost there but too lazy to make the final plunge. Having major allergy issues today and can’t stop sneezing so I’m not sure how well I’m going to sleep tonight!

Right, switching phone off so I stop staring at it. See you on the other side 😳

This is me too! I’m tired. Long commute to work. Poorly upset teen.
I have sat down by the fire at 9 and not moved exceot for snacks.

Agree I think it’s the peace and calm. I must shower and go to bed. If I make it to bed by 2 I’m winning!

I did it! I failed to put phone down by 8 but did go to sleep at 10.15 ish. Was looking up phone addiction on internet yesterday so I turned my phone to greyscale (something I’d forgotten about but had tried before) it’s weirdly effective. Going to try to keep it on and going to try for another 10pm tonight 🙏

🙌 Goblecki nice work

I now have an extra problem, DD age 8 cannot get to sleep and is coming downstairs at nearly 10pm unable to sleep… the genes are strong 😫

I've turned on app timers on my phone so that it kicks me out. It's helped.

@HuckleberryBlackcurrant i had that for a while. I just kept clicking ‘ignore’ 😐

This is me now and has been for the last 18 months since I started a business

My dc are older teens so physically they look after themselves however I'm full on with working and running the business when I'm not in it as well as the usual family /kids lifts/shopping/admin housework etc etc.

From when I get in from work at tea time I literally don't stop
Doing washing tidying cooking cleaning, etc.

I then do any house admin and there seems a lot at the minute as well as catching up with business emails messages etc. once I've done that the washing machine and dishwashers finished so I empty them and then by the time I sit down I literally need to just switch my brain off in front of the tv or iPad but I procrastinate and so end up
Going to bed so late it's annoying.

I then wake up shattered but if I go to bed earlier I lay awake and moving around so am up and down any way

Just finished planning tomorrow's lessons, have restricted my sleep revenge procrastination to writing on the Haiku thread, updating here, and am now putting on an audio book (Rory Stewart, Politics On the Edge) in order to drift off. Go us!

I've been rubbish the past two nights. Am currently wellll beyond my screen cut off time... Will try and do better tmrw, I promise!

I’ve actually been much better this week (apart from Weds which I’ll ignore…) this thread has helped I think. Generally been in bed by midnight, room for improvement but so much better than before.

Thank you for introducing me to this concept OP. I'm a sufferer😫 How do I develop the self control to just go to bed??!

I've been lurking here and very proud that I'm IN bed, all ready, and it's not 12 yet! It's been 2-3ams for me all week and by 8pm tonight I was fucking shattered. But decided to stay up for a bit to have my 'me' time and could FEEL myself get the second wind at about 10.30pm. Could have gone through till 1am again easily but now I'm up here hoping I can get my head down!

Not managing too well this week. Realising that part of it for me is that once I fall asleep, that's it ‐the next thing I know, it'll be morning again and I can't bear it, the whole circus will grind into motion once more. School is doing my head in and I'm definitely ready for the holidays.

Are you a teacher, EveSix? Sympathy. I remember the endless grind so well, dreading going in to school. Wishing your life away for the holidays. Its horrible.

For whatever reason it’s horrendously bad atm and I just can’t seem to break it. I’m averaging about 3 hours sleep, 5mg of melatonin when I take it works but then I wake soon after the first sleep cycle and I’m back to square one.

Tot, yes, primary. Thank you. It's so full on that I'm needing to go in on my day off every week at the moment to ensure things get done, such as Christmas prep and extracurricular commitment we've taken on. Hence up again, ready to go. But hey, the Christmas Fair, the Christmas concert and the rest of it will be amaze... Urgh.

Not using my phone at all in the hours before bedtime is really helping me.

I left it upstairs one night after finishing DC bedtime and decided not to go up and get it - I did some housework and watched TV and found myself naturally wanting to go to bed at 12am - a big improvement on my usual 2am!

There's something about using the internet on my phone that keeps my brain in awake mode - not sure if it's the blue light or the interactiveness of the device. Time flies by using the phone - but actually sitting and watching an hour of TV time seemed to go slower in my perception.

Also, watching something I've seen before on TV helps - if I let myself watch something new it's too mentally stimulating.

Yep, I agree. I did much better at the weekend when I was on holiday with my kids - unideal sleeping arrangements meant they didn't go to bed until 10 and there was really nothing to do after they went to bed without waking them so I fell asleep early! Now need to try to use that as a reset. I'm aiming for bed before 12 tonight.

If wanting some time to yourself is a factor in staying up too late, you could instead promise yourself some early-morning "me-time" before everyone else gets up. There are a couple of advantages to doing it that way round:

You'll probably prioritise sleep more. If you are ultra-tired, there's no way you are going to spring out of bed at 5am to watch TV or go on social media. Instead you will stay in bed and get the sleep you need.

If you are well rested, it's likely you will be at your best in the early morning, not the late evening. You deserve to have some time to yourself when you feel good, not when you are too exhausted to do anything enjoyable and productive and interesting.

It's self-limiting. Getting up half an hour early in order to do something pleasant is not going to turn into two or three hours. The kids will be up and you'll have to go to work, so there's no temptation to extend it.

It gives you a nice start to your day.

I couldn’t sleep at the end of my pregnancy, I still don’t sleep much with and 11 week old but I’m not exhausted like you are when your pregnant, it’s a lot easier to get on with things and you won’t be so physically and mentally drained. So it will get better don’t worry