Sleep revenge procrastination - is it real and how to fix it?

[Kirova]

Someone introduced me to this concept earlier in the week and I identified with it so much! I feel like all my time is so full at the moment - I have a 5 year old and a 4 year old and I love them to bits, but it is hard work sometimes. I'm 30 weeks pregnant with #3 and due to go on mat leave early in the new year, but still working FT at the moment.

I feel like every day is non-stop. Up, house jobs, kids, school, work - work is busy and a bit full on right now, and hasn't stopped being busy since early spring - pick up kids, dinner/activities/socialising in some order, bedtime, housework, catch up on emails. And then I should go to bed. But I end up just wasting time and eventually it's 12 or 1am and I'm still not in bed with the light off.

Then, I can't even get a decent night's sleep because I can't get comfortable or I keep needing to get up and pee (X 20), or I've got heartburn... Joys of pregnancy, haha.

I need to do better! How can I change?! 🫣

Can I join please? I do this. I don’t have problems sleeping so can’t say that’s why I avoid going to bed… I just cannot seem to get off the bloody sofa and go to bed. DH goes to bed at sensible time and despairs of me.

Aiming to be heading upstairs at 10.30 UK time. Shout at me if you see me on here after that.

@Kirova

I've been here 8 yrs so the shock has mostly worn off. But it IS different. And strange thinking my children are so American. I hope you sleep well 😁

@minipie

Wishing you a restful night's sleep 🥱

I will do, and you please shout at me too! 😀

My DH is working away - he often does, but he's currently in a part of the world where he doesn't get regular reliable network to call or contact. So he sometimes throws me out by ringing for a chat at 11pm!

He's due back in a couple of weeks and it will be a huge relief for many reasons.

Right, I am going to bed.

NOW

You all go to bed too (if in UK… if in the US you’re let off 😆)

I’m in the process of going to bed. I’ve washed my face, brushed my teeth, fed my cat, made a hot water bottle. Now all that’s left is to get off the sofa and get changed into PJs. Which right now feels like climbing Everest. Still I must go onwards.

This is me. I have so many demands on my time right now, yet I’m not sleeping enough due to this sleep revenge procrastination. I am so tired, I don’t have the energy to break out of it.

Yes, that's why I'm scrolling Mumsnet at 1am!

I do this. So tired all day then get a second wind about 21.30. I know it’s ruining my life. All that blue light and doom scrolling. I know my life would be at so much better if I put my phone down at 8 and slept at 10. So annoying that I can’t stop. Self sabotage is a good description.

I've just got into bed and my alarm is set for 6am! Why do I do this to myself?!

Same, feel so shit this morning as per usual.

Having mobile internet has pretty much ruined my life. I’m completely aware of that. I’ve tried to give up to many times. I’m a shadow of who I was before the internet was around.

I honestly wish the internet would implode.

I managed to go to bed at 10–11 for 3 days a couple of months ago. 3 days! Pathetic.

I swear to god this phone has became my best friend and I hate myself for it, so embarrassing!

I was in bed by about 12 - went up at 11 as per my post but then got sidetracked by a book I’d left in the bathroom 🤦‍♀️ however, better than the 1 or 2am that has been known.

Tonight I’m aiming for 10.30 off the sofa and up the stairs.

Goblecki I’m a phone addict too. It’s awful.

I switched the light off at 12:30, but couldn’t sleep! When I finally did I slept terribly.

For me, this was a phase that passed as parenting got less physically intense. While it lasted, I found having a couple of ‘early bed’ days a week helped. That way, I felt I would get some quiet me-time tomorrow night, as payment for having an early night today. So it felt less like missing out.

This thread brought it all back to me, so I thought I’d mention it in case it helps anyone else.

3Tunes I’m the opposite. My DC were terrible sleepers and hard work in the day up until age 5/6 … I used to go to bed on time then, knowing I’d probably be up in the night. Now they are 10 and 8 and sleep sensibly thank god - but I don’t go to bed. It’s almost like I’m trying to compensate for all those years when I got no evening time??

So, I had my fruit sleep tea about 9ish, and went up to bed at 10. Listened to the vocal guides for the choir in part of for 30mins and then read a couple of Shakespeare sonnets for ten minutes. Lights out at 10.40. A little later than I'd hoped but I didn't touch my phone after 9.50 which is a good improvement. Slept reasonably well till 1am and 4am when I woke with an irritating cough (not covid, have tested!😂). Dropped off again quickly and didn't wake till 7 when my alarm went off. Allowed myself to doze till 8 (I'm not on shift till 10.30am today). Overall it's a very good night's sleep for me despite two wakings, and I feel good all things considered.

How you're all sound asleep stateside x

@minipie Same. I spent years wishing I could just sleep due to kids that didn’t sleep. Now they are young teens and I’m doing this to myself!

Anyway, no point me trying to blame it on anything it’s not. For me it’s phone addiction.

Im going to attempt to put phone down at 8 and go to bed at 10 tonight. I’ll report back with honest report of whether I was successful tomorrow 🙃

So I was actually doing a bit better - in bed by midnight-ish and asleep not long after. Result! Until I woke up at about 4am with what seems to be stomach bug and that was the end of sleep. I had to somehow resurrect myself enough to get the girls ready for school and hand them over to a kindly neighbour for delivery, and crawled back onto the couch. I haven't managed to eat or barely drink, but on the plus side, at least I was feeling to groggy to time waste on my phone till now!! 😀

@Gobleki

I feel this! Just remember the phone companies spend millions specifically to make them super addictive!!

@Kirova
Hope you feel better soon. That's so rubbish!

Can I join? Every night I faff around until midnight then like the peace too much to actually go to sleep til gone 1am. I am always, always knackered and then feel really shit and disorganised.

Haha, I think we must be twins!

To be fair, I could waste time on my phone even when the only thing you could do was send texts and play 3 games. So I'm not sure I can blame big tech for my time-wasting tendencies!

Tonight's going to be a write off. I'm surfing and posting here nearly two hours after I'm supposed to have put my phone down. And my sons flight back from holiday has been delayed so I'm going to have to snatch what sleep I can before sorting out transport when he lands. Eurgh.

Ahh Lost when is he due to land?

I’m going upstairs now… feels absurdly early. Must not read book.