To want a prenup?

[Deedee37]

I have assets (property) which I own together with my parents and siblings, and the flat we live in is mine. He doesn’t have any assets. Our income is similar. I asked him if we can do a prenup but he said that if I don’t trust him, I shouldn’t marry him.

If you look on many male-dominated forums, the same advice is given.

Like what: I'd be interested in clicking on those.

Indeed... because men are much more clear-eyed about this and sensibly realise that marriage usually doesn't benefit the breadwinner.

Women get brainwashed from a young age into thinking marriage is the pinnacle of their lifetime's achievement and something they should want at all costs. It's just not a one-size-fits-all solution.

Women should always look at a marriage on its own merits as opposed to rushing headlong into it because "commitment". Any decent lawyer will tell a woman with more assets than her partner that it's usually a silly idea.

@Thepeopleversuswork I totally agree with you.

I was asking op if this was the source of her reluctance to do what her fiancé is offering.

In the UK civil partnerships are identical to marriage; the only significant difference is you can't "dissolve" a partnership due to adultery, you have to call it "unreasonable behaviour".

I see his point, tbh. I don't see the point in getting married if you think divorce is so likely as to have to plan for it before you've even tied the knot. Just don't bother in the first place.

Two points here: the first is that if you co-own properties with your parents and siblings then they should be involved in these discussions.

Secondly: if he is going to live in your property long-term without getting married then I would request that he sign a declaration of no interest in your flat if he is not contributing to the mortgage.

I think these conversations are so important prior to marriage etc., and the fact that he has just shut it down completely (while clearly not having any issues with living for free in your flat) speaks volumes.

I will be moving into my partner's house soon and will not be contributing to the mortgage, and so will be signing a declaration of no interest. I am very happy to do this and we continue to have ongoing conversations about how we will split our finances etc. in the future. That's how it should be, it should not be a taboo subject.

I hope you come to a resolution that works for both of your OP

could anyone advise hr logistics and costs of getting a prenup?

I would tell him he is right and best not to marry.
Willing to best the 'persuading', little digs and guilt tripping will start.

He will show you who he if he does..