Can't stop thinking about what school have said

[Catsandcuddles]

My child has started school this year. He's classed as a summer born, although not the youngest (May birthday). He did a phased start and appeared to settle in well, first parents event was generally positive and I thought school was going well.

Fast forward a month and my son is having some problems. He keeps telling us he doesn't want to go to school, and 2 times this week I've had the teacher pull me at the end of the day to have a word about his behaviour. She mentioned something about "sensory seeking" and they would continue to monitor him and went on to say they might have to call us in about some additional support if his behaviours continue.

I havent heard of senory seeking before so I have looked online and it's planted a seed and put a doubt in my mind. I am now wondering if my child has some additional needs that I've never noticed, or is he just showing normal 4 year old behaviour. The worse thing is, I'm over analysing every thing my child does and thinking is this a sensory thing.

In addition to this, i have noticed his behaviour has become quite challenging at home since starting school. Not listening, not leaving the cats alone , refusing to tody his toys, all of these things which havent been an issue in the past..For some context, prior to school he was at a private nursery 4 full days a week. He was hapoy, thrived, had a good group of friends, good behaviour etc, there was never any mention of any concerns about his behaviour or from the SENCO.

So I'm just struggling to process this new information, did nursery /myself miss these cues or maybe my son is just struggling with the transition from nursery into school.

Sorry its long, but I just can't stop thinking, worrying and over analysing everything he does so would welcome anyone's input, has anyone experienced anything similar?

Listen to the school and start learning about neurodiversity and the pathways to assessment. It may be that your son is neurotypical but the process can be long and tortuous and you don't want to be pursuing diagnosis in a crisis (this happens to so many people) with a 2 or more year waiting list (including for some of the best private people) if your son suddenly really can't cope at all. Keep a diary of incidents/observations at home and reported at school so you have evidence if you need it. The sooner your son has support (if he needs it) the better. Schools see an awful lot of children and they are already seeing differences in your DC.

Agreed..it's like they expect kids to be mini adults!

This made me smile as I'd been imagining him telling other children he liked their faces which is a bit sweeter than licking them! It sounds like the demands on him have exceeded his capacity to meet them, and that can indicate a wider issue w neurodiversity. He's only 4 though, and as there weren't previous clear indicators it's probably a wait and see situation for now

@Catsandcuddles I was also wondering from your original posts if it was tiredness? When DD started school, for the first term, I found I had to put her to bed at 6:30 and she would sleep straight through until 7:30 the next morning. By the second term she was going to bed at 7 and sleeping until 7:30 and then for many years it was 7:30//8 bed time.

Have you tried getting him to bed earlier during term time?

Hi OP,

There is so much to unpick when they start Reception. As PP say, tiredness can be a major cuase of silliness and poor behaviour. And sensory seeking too.

Definitely get him an eye test and keep pushing for investigations for ears. They need to resolve any issues with those before possible SEN can be explored properly.

If the school suggest any interventions, let them crack on, strategies for helping neurodiverse children won't cause any harm to children who aren't neurodiverse, so there's no risk to giving them a go while you wait to see if he grows out of the behaviours or not.

Just catching up on all the comments, really helpful thank you.

I'm fully supportive of what the school has spoke about, I've filled out the referral forms and ASD checklist and I'm open to talking to them and working together.

I've come to terms with at this point it could be a number of factors, his age , personality ( his dad was the class clown ) tiredness, ENT issue, or it could be he has ASD or ADHD.

Someone mentioned ENT/ Adenoids - he is under referral , has been for nearly 3 years. He had grade 3 size tonsils and large adenoids which they are monitoring. Had sleep apena as a baby, which has improved with age. He doesn't get frequent ear infections, but whenever he's had a hearing test he's always had pressure in his ears. Again something NHs wanted to monitor. I think they will only push for grommets or adenoids surgery in extreme circumstances, but I will be telling his consultant about the latest developments and see where that leaves us. I only want to consider surgery is absolutely necessary

Someone passed comment about me and if I am ND due to being anxious, I've never really thought about it to be honest