ARGH unexpected visitors, messy house

[shopping247]

I am so so so mortified. House is a complete tip right now. We are in the middle of a 'huge sort out' that has carried on longer than planned as we haven't had a chance to finish as we have had a lot going on, so there is just junk and clutter piled everywhere. It is BAD. Kitchen was a mess too. Bins need emptying. You know, the lot. Typically, I have this whole weekend free ready to sort it all out!!!

So I come home today to hear that DH had bumped into our neighbours and chatted to them about a problem we were having with something needing fixing. So of course, he invites them in, the husband with his wife in tow, to have a look. Inside our absolutely chaotic, messy, pigsty of a house. NDN are a lovely couple, their house is immaculate from what I have seen of it.

I could kill him and I just want the ground to swallow me up!!! I never want to see them again! I want to move

AIBU to ask you to please me feel better and tell me this has happened to you too 😭

OH became obsessed with building an extension I kept saying no because I've enough to clean. We have a lovely sitting room but there are throws on all the furniture because of the dogs so it's lived in.

It turns out to this extension was just for him and visitors so would be dogs wife and grandchildren free. Oh and he wanted a swanky kitchen. So £100k just to show off occasionally. On your bike I said. He said he'd move out then, I said fine.

It's a home not an Instagram dream

This is exactly me just now.It was a project anyway but DH dying last year gave me the time and space to carry out whole house decluttering. Strangely the house isnt actually super tidy as theres usually bags and boxes in the process of being sorted and sifted but its getting there.

If I go into someones house that is untidy I dont really think anything of it. Its their space and can keep it as they like. If anything it makes me feel better about my less untidy house but I sometimes envy them their cosy nests.

Had a new sofa delivered 4 months after getting a puppy, who was 99% toilet trained. Was pottering about, sofa guys knocked on the door and asked to see where t was going. Opened the living room door to a lovely pile of poop ffs. Could've died there and then.

Divorce him. Unexpected visitors are the worst!
My bloody DH did this to me. He bumped into old friends invited them in to see me. No warning!
There I was in total washing/washing up chaotic meltdown. Wearing my oldest leggings and a massive sweatshirt with a huge stain down the front from just having retrieved the muddy dog from under a bush. But the best part was unwashed hair pinned to the top of my head with one of my kids old bright pink bow clips. It's huge and I had grabbed it to just get my hair out of my eyes while I showered the bloody dog. My friend of course looked stunning - all chic and sophisticated and he was all weekend smart casual. And I forgot I had the pink bow in until we were saying goodbye to them and I spotted it in the mirror on the way out.
FFS
I asked DH why he hadn't mentioned the bow and he said he thought maybe I was trying something new....... I'm 48 FFS
I have made my DH swear he will never commit such an evil crime again.

My house is usually messy and I hate people coming unannounced!

But when my son was little someone gave us a copy of the Peepo book and the very messy house in it seemed really warming, happy and lived in.

Aww don’t worry, I wouldn’t have judged OP. It your home, not a show home.

I met a friend for a walk. My wee one needed the toilet and she kindly said we could nip back to her nearby house to use her bathroom.

Her husband was outside, carefully raking up leaves into tidy piles (mentioning this because #priorities).

Inside: a complete and utter tip. My friend is a very highly qualified and intelligent professional btw. I actually just felt touched and honoured that she’s let me into such a space, and also relieved that I’m not the only one. Messy houses are so wrapped in shame, given current social circumstances - smaller housing, everyone working, always too much stuff - the shame really needs to be drained away.

Life is bigger. Keep your head high x

It’s ok. Our ndn are renovating and the party wall surveyor recently came over and took pictures, which will forever be documented, of every nook and cranny of our house whilst we were in the middle of a massive clear out. Boxes, clothes, toys, shit everywhere.

If they judge you for any of it that's more about them than you. I don't like it if I have friends turn up who I know are really tidy - that's when I worry about everything and go around apologising for the mess and trying to suggest we go out to chat. If they've got similar homes to me they can come in 😁

Could you move?

This was our previous house, we'd been discussing putting it on the market (but not decided, this is important).

At the time, DC were at a particularly messy stage of childhood and DH and I were both utterly snowed under at work. We were trying to keep up some minimal standards but struggling badly.

One particular morning after a really fraught week, everything just went a bit wrong and we ended up all piling out of the door late for work/school, leaving a trail of destruction behind us. Dishes and crumbs and spilled cereal on the table, greasy pans in the sink, all beds unmade, dirty clothes on bathroom floor, house hadn't been vacuumed for weeks, etc.

Anyway, DH got chatting to a senior colleague who was tired of her long commute and was vaguely looking for a closer house. "Oh, we're selling," trilled DH, "why don't you pop over during the lunch break and have a look?"

You can guess the rest.

Same.

We had the health visitor over when DD was a baby, she came in everything was lovely. During our chat the cat decided to honk all over the front porch, long slimy brown furball complete with lumpy cat gravy seasoning.

As I was showing the HV our she audibly gasped and yelled 'what the hell is THAT?'. Its a great feeling when so expresses their disgust without restraint (she did apologize for the less than subtle response afterwards).

I don't remember my childhood cats ever vomiting like this... guess its my fault for getting a long haired one.

My neighbour invited me in when i dropped off something for her and house was untidy. She possible felt a bit embarrassed but I thought "lovely to see a normal house and I am not the only one a bit behind on the housework at times" I really admired her for inviting me in despite the mess to have a quick chat and say thank you for the item i dropped off.

I'm always grateful when visiting friends if their house is messier than mine. You've just given your neighbours a massive boost about their home and they will love you for it.

This is a fantastic post.

My house is very, very untidy. I don't give a single shit, and it would never cross my mind to worry about what a friend or neighbour might think.

Anyone who cares about someone else's untidy house is the one with a problem.

I feel more comfortable when I visit a house that’s a bit untidy, there’s nothing worse than going into an immaculate house and worrying about where to put your cup down.

This.

Very well said.

Unless it is clean, nobody can come in.

I need to know ahead of time if someone is coming, and I will have invited them. People inviting themselves is just not of interest, they would be kept at the front door.

The cat vomiting one is not untidiness, that’s filthy and gross, I wouldn’t want something that did that in the house at all.

All the time, and I hate the way those meter reader men come to the door out of the blue when your house is every shape. My meter is in the kitchen (via the living room) so they see all of the downstairs. Granted, they're just blokes usually in a hurry and total strangers and they probably don't register much, but it's really annoying. I've also had the police call (on door to door, hasten to add) when I had two feral kittens in a cage in the living room with a litter tray in it, god knows what they made of us.

I would of died lol! My friend had a partner who was jealous of her dildo's, so he bagged them up & hid them. They split up not long after & he left. She then moved to another place & the home removal guys found them behind her sofa & handed them to her 😂

My ex husband and I had moved into our first house together and I'd baked a cake that was cooling off before I iced it. Ex husband decided to do it as I was drying my hair. The cake was absolutely ruined and I was livid and we ended up throwing bits of the cake at each other. Kitchen was an absolute mess when couple turned up and he answered the door covered in chocolate cake.

Just yesterday a friend turned up and my house was in bits. Thank God I wasn't home! She's now coming tomorrow instead.

Exactly what i was going to say!
I actually find immaculate homes very unhomely and not very relaxing TBH !

We’ve been on the other end of this. NDN Husband invited us in to see their new extension. We said no but he insisted. We went in, she looked mortified. 2 under twos and it looked like fisher price had thrown up in their home. It was joy to me.
she text me after and apologised but it looked like a very loving family home.
im sure it just looked like you were having a good clear out OP. If there was cat shit on the floor and flies on the wall then you’re ok to be mortified. People really do understand. I’m sure you’re fine xx

Ive had similar, what made it worse was my husband knew the guests were coming round but failed to tell me.
So his cousin was visiting my mil and decided she'd pop in at ours as well. Mil warned her that my younger two were both unwell but she insisted they'd make it a quick visit.
Mil phoned dh who was upstairs in bed but he didn't think to tell me. Both girls lying on each sofa with bins besides them, kitchen a tip and in the front room unknown to me, for some reason dh had gotten changed and left all his dirty clothes slung over different pieces of furniture including underwear.
His cousin knocked and as I was busy one of the teens answered the door and obviously let them in. She came in with her husband and eldest daughter.
Mortified does not describe the feeling I suffered that day. The feeling was soo strong.
My mil rang after they'd left and when I mentioned what had happened that's when I found out that she'd called dh to warn us ahead of time.
My house is never a show home and dh has never accepted that he should tidy up after himself because he feels it's no skin off his nose if someone does turn up and we're not guest ready but that day even his own mum told him off!