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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Friend taking the piss

80 replies

Nobadvibes · 17/11/2023 13:44

Offered to pet sit for my friend as she desperate and had no other options. Personally I have no intentions of getting a pet.

The agreement was 4 days, the pet was groomed to reduce the amount of hair’s shed and nails clipped. She was meant to bring the pet round on Sunday night but being her usual disorganised self wanted to bring it Monday morning at 9, which didn’t work for. Compromised and agreed for 7:30, when then rolls up at 8:30. (I work from home and had meetings from 8:30 which she knew).

The pet is not groomed and has been shredding hair everywhere. He’s trained to a point where he goes to the toilet outside but clearly has no other training. The pet needs constant attention otherwise it does various things to get your attention. Which has disrupted my work. The pet only ever sleeps in her bed which she failed to mention and I personally find disgusting and has been preventing my sleep all week. And it also turns out she’s away for 6 days not 4 but forgot. She’s back late on the Saturday so is arranging for a family member to home for me to drop him off.

I’ve rung her to let her know I can’t accommodate the extra days as I have plans. Her response is it’s an accident and she needs the favour.

Am I being unreasonable here?

OP posts:
Username6445 · 17/11/2023 13:46

You're being unreasonable for saying 'the pet' all the time and not what animal it is. 😏

Celticliving · 17/11/2023 13:46

She's taken the piss every step of the way.

I would be messaging her to say that you are not able to work and that she needs to arrange for someone to collect the dog as a matter of urgency.

Celticliving · 17/11/2023 13:47

Username6445 · 17/11/2023 13:46

You're being unreasonable for saying 'the pet' all the time and not what animal it is. 😏

I think she means dog.

But if she is talking about a lion then she is definitely not being unreasonable.

gamerchick · 17/11/2023 13:47

Now you know why she had nobody else to ask and was desperate.

One less person she can tick off her list. I'd be giving her a mouthful and telling her to fuck off.

Leeds2 · 17/11/2023 13:47

Not in the slightest. Tell her that she will have to come back early to collect, or get someone else to do it for her. However, I wouldn't be at all surprised if she agrees, and then doesn't turn up on time anyway.

Celticliving · 17/11/2023 13:48

Leeds2 · 17/11/2023 13:47

Not in the slightest. Tell her that she will have to come back early to collect, or get someone else to do it for her. However, I wouldn't be at all surprised if she agrees, and then doesn't turn up on time anyway.

She can collect from the kennels, then.

I don't mind pets but I would be livid.

Leeds2 · 17/11/2023 13:49

Celticliving · 17/11/2023 13:48

She can collect from the kennels, then.

I don't mind pets but I would be livid.

Good idea! The sort of kennels where you pay when you pick up!

gamerchick · 17/11/2023 13:50

If you really want to make your point, tell her that someone needs to collect the animal or you're taking it to a shelter saying it's been abandoned.

Now you know why you didn't get it the night before as planned. She knew it would be a massive headache.

WhichIsItWendy · 17/11/2023 13:50

Yeah you're going to need to put your foot down. Is she in the country?

I'd be telling your that you can't accommodate the last few days, you've told her, you have plans. Either she cuts short her holiday or she arranges for someone else to collect. Or, last option, take go a kennel, asking her for her bank details to pay it.

She's an absolute joke. Arriving at 8.30 on Monday when you agreed Sunday night is bad enough. She needs to grow up.

MagentaRocks · 17/11/2023 13:55

The trouble is if she doesn’t come back and you can’t find a kennel with a place that will bill her you are stuck.

I think you just need to put your foot down and hope that she comes back or sorts out an alternative.

Nobadvibes · 17/11/2023 13:55

She’s made me feel really bad for saying he can’t sleep in my bed as apparently he’s never slept in his own bed. Had I known this and I would have said no. Plus I’ve had to rearrange my cleaner for a charge as what’s the point in her cleaning a house when the dog will shred more hair everywhere.

I’ve dropped her text that I can’t accommodate the dog past 4 today as I need to be out of the house for 5 so someone needs to collect it.

She has a habit of always being late and trying to last minute change plans by a few hours.

OP posts:
murasaki · 17/11/2023 13:58

Another vote for take it to a shelter. They'll chip scan and call her, amd she can deal with it. Although I suspect it's not chipped. She's no friend, so no loss in doing this.

Celticliving · 17/11/2023 13:59

I'm with you; dogs (or any animals!) in beds are are unhygienic and it grosses me out.

She was DEFINITELY unreasonable to ask you to share your bed with the pet!

murasaki · 17/11/2023 14:02

I spent 8 hours wearing my cat as a hat last night as he kipped on my pillow. I was not happy. But he's my cat, with a propensity to get violent if moved unexpectedly. Anyone else's pet can do one from my bedroom.

TheLightSideOfTheMoon · 17/11/2023 14:05

Take it to a shelter or to a local vet and say it’s been abandoned.
Which it has.

Catza · 17/11/2023 14:09

Why would you feel bad for the dog who never slept in its own bed? Dogs don't give a shit. My dog sleeps anywhere she fancies from under the dining table down to the floor of a freezing conservatory (we don't make her go there, she opens the door and makes herself comfortable). Just shut the door to your bedroom, it's not like the dog is going to spend all night on its feet.
Your "friend" is out of order. Even though I happily dog sit, I would not tolerate this behaviour from the owner. I would take the dog to the kennel, pay for one night and give them your friend's contact details. If she fails to pick up, she can deal with them directly. Granted, it is not fair on the dog but it is really not your responsibility.

MaryMary6589 · 17/11/2023 14:13

Look on the bright side, I know someone who agreed to pet sit for a massive dog while their friend went on holiday. The friend then telephoned a few days into the holiday to say that it wasn't a holiday and that she had emigrated to the USA and couldn't bring the dog. Wild.

Flossflower · 17/11/2023 14:20

She isn’t your friend.

Jessforless · 17/11/2023 14:24

I love dogs but this is ridiculous. I would also take the dog to a kennel, but I’d text that you’re doing it first.

would you be okay to lose the friendship?

Whataretheodds · 17/11/2023 14:27

MaryMary6589 · 17/11/2023 14:13

Look on the bright side, I know someone who agreed to pet sit for a massive dog while their friend went on holiday. The friend then telephoned a few days into the holiday to say that it wasn't a holiday and that she had emigrated to the USA and couldn't bring the dog. Wild.

Wow

Purpleraiin · 17/11/2023 14:33

I had similar this summer. Agreed to 4 days which turned In to 7. Was told the dog didn't go on furniture and was fully trained. It was bouncing round my living room none stop all over my furniture, but the worst bit was the constant cocking it's leg up my sofa and Evan up my dog 3 times!!!! I ended up having to shut the dog in my kitchen for the time it was here as I was just spending my days showering my dog or dragging the carpet cleaner round to do the sofas and floor 😖 I'm also very noise sensitive and 24/7 this dog made awful grunting noises or sounded like it was choking. That's the last time I agree to look after someone's pet

Dartmoorcheffy · 17/11/2023 14:35

You can t just take a dog to kennels . Tell her to get a family member to pick it up.

WickedSerious · 17/11/2023 14:38

MaryMary6589 · 17/11/2023 14:13

Look on the bright side, I know someone who agreed to pet sit for a massive dog while their friend went on holiday. The friend then telephoned a few days into the holiday to say that it wasn't a holiday and that she had emigrated to the USA and couldn't bring the dog. Wild.

This happened to my cousin when she looked after a corgi while his owners 'holidayed' in New Zealand.

Animallover87 · 17/11/2023 14:51

@murasaki same! (I secretly love it 😀)

cerisepanther73 · 17/11/2023 14:55

you need to demand that she likes at alternative arrangements you just can't do what she expects,

she has taken you for granted as a mug 🍺, fool

taken advantage of your people pleaser generous ways,

I bet she is type of so called friend if you needed a favour she would do a magic 🎩 dispearing trick ✨️ like Houndi famed escape artist Extrodinare, or
if you her for sounding board for advice about anything that's worrying you, she would just turn the conversation at any given opportunity about herself,?

am i right Op?

there's a reason why she struggled to find anyone who could look after her pet 🐶 🐕 dog,

she sounds like one of life's User's ,

Or
is this 🤔 out of character behaviour on her part?

I don't think it is

even if it was?

she is royally taking the piss out of you,

you need to give her sharp 👄 talking to

even re-consirder this kind of friendship whether to continue it,
is it a bit too much one sided at times,