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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Friend taking the piss

80 replies

Nobadvibes · 17/11/2023 13:44

Offered to pet sit for my friend as she desperate and had no other options. Personally I have no intentions of getting a pet.

The agreement was 4 days, the pet was groomed to reduce the amount of hair’s shed and nails clipped. She was meant to bring the pet round on Sunday night but being her usual disorganised self wanted to bring it Monday morning at 9, which didn’t work for. Compromised and agreed for 7:30, when then rolls up at 8:30. (I work from home and had meetings from 8:30 which she knew).

The pet is not groomed and has been shredding hair everywhere. He’s trained to a point where he goes to the toilet outside but clearly has no other training. The pet needs constant attention otherwise it does various things to get your attention. Which has disrupted my work. The pet only ever sleeps in her bed which she failed to mention and I personally find disgusting and has been preventing my sleep all week. And it also turns out she’s away for 6 days not 4 but forgot. She’s back late on the Saturday so is arranging for a family member to home for me to drop him off.

I’ve rung her to let her know I can’t accommodate the extra days as I have plans. Her response is it’s an accident and she needs the favour.

Am I being unreasonable here?

OP posts:
CwmYoy · 17/11/2023 17:18

Take it to the pound as abandoned.

Blanca87 · 17/11/2023 17:21

🤣 for some reason I kept thinking it was a Shetland pony .

Calliopespa · 17/11/2023 17:29

It’s probably a grasshopper but OP thinks we won’t be so sympathetic…

tiggergoesbounce · 17/11/2023 17:38

Im not sure why you would subject a dog to being "left at a pound".

Do you know the dog previous to this??

itsalongwaybackfromsorry · 17/11/2023 18:04

Kennel

Give them her name and address and tell them to bill her.

Luxell934 · 17/11/2023 18:13

Some horrible advice here to just dump the dog at a shelter or the vets 😡

Yes your friend is being unreasonable, not alot you can do other than keep the dog until she returns and never agree to look after it again.

sensationalsally · 17/11/2023 18:17

Buy an indoor kennel. ask her to pay for it due to all the issues you have mentioned. If she refuses, she's not your friend.

Calliopespa · 17/11/2023 18:19

Tell her to log on to mumsnet and click on this thread

Thinkbiglittleone · 17/11/2023 18:22

This sounds like pet behaviour though, wanting attention, reassurance when left without its owner and to sleep where it usually sleeps. If it's not trained, you must have already know this from times you have met it with your friend, and if you have never met it before, it's very silly to agree to sit for a dog you have never got to know beforehand. Your friend is unreasonable to not do what she agreed before hand and to push out the dates, but you would be awful to leave it a dog shelter. It's not the dogs fault

Out of interest what breed is it ?

TheRealLilyMunster · 17/11/2023 18:44

'This isn't working for me. Its not what we agreed, and your pet is preventing me from working due to behaviour you failed to mention. You either arrange for someone to collect it tonight, or tomorrow morning I will be taking it to a shelter'.

Lordofmyflies · 17/11/2023 18:47

Poor dog. Definitely your 'friend's' fault - what a cow! I think I would text her and give her 2 options - either she arranges for someone else, family, friend, dog carer, whoever etc to collect the dog by the end of the day or you will be sending her an invoice for a purchasing a suitable run plus bills for carpet cleaning and deep cleaning on her return.
Its really unfair for her to put you in this position. Just as a POI, I pay a pet sitter £70 a day to care for my dog for 24 hours - you've saved your 'friend' her £500!

Atethehalloweenchocs · 17/11/2023 19:00

So, you are not being unreasonable for not wanting her to change the number of days, times for drop off etc etc. You are unreasonable for agreeing to help with a pet when you clearly dont like animals and are likely to be aggravated by hair etc. Pets need attention and are not always convenient. If you agree to care for one, you have to accept that is part of it.

AppleDumplingWithCustard · 17/11/2023 19:01

Of course your friend shouldn’t have put you in this position but please don’t punish the animal for her piss-taking. It would be beyond cruel to hand it in to a shelter as a homeless animal or to put the poor thing at risk in any way.

Cherrysoup · 17/11/2023 19:25

Interested to know if the relative came to pick up the dog?

Reallyontherocks · 17/11/2023 19:26

Your friend is being massively unreasonable and taking this piss

Strictlymad · 17/11/2023 19:44

This must be so infuriating! You are trying to help out a friend but they are taking the biscuit. It’s simply not fair. Get rid of dog asap and if asked again say I’m sorry but you didn’t keep your end of the bargain so no

ThinWomansBrain · 17/11/2023 19:51

You won't be able to take the dog to kennels without vaccination certificates.
And I think a lot of rescues will be full - may not be able to accept immediately.

Be thankful it's not a ferret.

PurplePansy05 · 17/11/2023 19:54

I think you sound very precious tbh.

But she's obviously taking the piss not sticking to the arrangements, you're asking a rhetorical question to have an opportunity to vent.

Original poster
Nobadvibes · 17/11/2023 21:00

The dog is a Pomeranian cross with a sausage dog. The dog hasn’t been professionally groomed in over 2 years, she just chops bits off when she thinks he needs it. Hence the excessive malting.

I’d met the dog twice. Told my friend I don’t really care for Pets but she was desperate and I felt bad.

Her cousin has agreed to pick him up tomorrow but isn’t happy about it.

OP posts:
Calliopespa · 17/11/2023 21:02

Nobadvibes · 17/11/2023 21:00

The dog is a Pomeranian cross with a sausage dog. The dog hasn’t been professionally groomed in over 2 years, she just chops bits off when she thinks he needs it. Hence the excessive malting.

I’d met the dog twice. Told my friend I don’t really care for Pets but she was desperate and I felt bad.

Her cousin has agreed to pick him up tomorrow but isn’t happy about it.

Never seen one of those before …

Tiredandhungryneedwine · 17/11/2023 21:12

She is taking the piss. We have a tricky dog (who actually sounds considerably better behaved than the one you’re referring to!) and I know that what you’ve done is a HUGE favour!
This is precisely why we don’t book anything unless we have dog care (which we usually pay for). We are exceptionally grateful for anyone who does help out and pay or treat them but on the whole having chosen to have a rescue dog with various health conditions we adjust our life accordingly. Put your foot down about those extra days, be clear that it’s been hugely inconvenient and not what was agreed. Don’t let her play it down, you’ve done more than enough.

coffeedrinking · 17/11/2023 21:13

Pfff CF. She’s stitched you up there, cause what are you supposed to do now? YANBU. Don’t let her make you think you are!

AuntMarch · 17/11/2023 21:22

It isn't a coincidence that it ended up being a last minute drop off when you wouldn't have time to take much notice.

AllAroundMyCat · 17/11/2023 21:54

She's a user.
Sack her off once she collects her unprecious pooch.

As to the extra days, try and find a dog sitter then give your 'ex' mate the bill.

Thinkbiglittleone · 17/11/2023 22:01

I’d met the dog twice. Told my friend I don’t really care for Pets but she was desperate and I felt bad

I think this a good example how it turns out not to be helping when friends take on more than they are comfortable with.
If you don't like dogs, don't offer to care for one that will be suffering from missing it's owners, may act out and needs understanding.

But yes your friend also sounds like she was trying to take advantage on how long you had it for.