m ds is not allowed in my dad's front room because he is a sicky baby

[Eddas]

Dad & step mother have invited me, dh and the dc round to their house on easter monday. But ds will not be allowed in the front room as he is a sicky baby(reflux type sickness so you never know when it'll happen!) and i'm just that dad actually said he can't go in a room. I know nobody wants sick on their carpet but really aren't they being a bit precious. I don't like him being sick on my carpet but I clean it up and get on with it

Not sure whether I want to go now and wanted to see if I'm being silly. DH will not go if I tell him.

Wow! That's pretty unfriendly. I wouldn't go, and I think I would say why, without being unnecessarily abrasive about it - but it's difficult without knowing you/your dad/the tone of your relationship. I wouldn't be happy though, it doesn't sound very welcoming.

how weird.
is it a front parlour. for sundays.

Blimey Eddas no wonder you are upset. i also had a baby hurler and know how hard it is. can you try ally their fears, take some old towels etc to catch any hurl. try explain to them it is upsetting to be excluded and put in virtual quarantine

That sounds really off of them. Surely they just accept their granchildren as they are, not excluding just one from part of their home.

I had the same thing about my mum's house at christmas, I was potty training dd and she was on laxatives for constipation (so a bit iffy tbh) my mum had just had cream carpet put down, we went anyway and took dd in the living room and we were quick to get her to the loo, she didn't have any accidents though or i may have felt bad! I think on the day they won't actually be so rude as to make you take him out of the room! perhaps offer to have a towel near you/ laid out just in case if theyre that bothered?

Depends if the front room is where everyone else is going to sit daintily nibbling canapes while you and your DS are banished to the bog or the shed, or if it's a room in the house they are not going to use while you are visiting anyway. I mean, visitors to my house in general are not allowed in either the office or the stockroom, but when there are visitors I don't go in those rooms either.

i don't think i'm being unreasonable but need some perspective!

dad married 'her' in couple of years ago and they then bought a flashy brand new house and so I understand that they don't want sick on carpets(god I sound ridciulous!) but i do really feel so unwelcome there.

This is kind of tip of the iceberg. step mother doesn't seem overly bother with me or my brother and sister. Kinda get the impression she'd be happier had dad been childless when they met IYSWIM.

I wouldn't go. They aren't making you feel welcome, are they?

Well it's their house and if they don't want sick then so be it I suppose. I wouldn't visit though as I would feel uncomfortable and pissed off slightly.

It depends. Some ppl are quite phobic about sick.

last time we were there she offered to put ds on a towel my reply was that wasn't going to help since he can crawl. I did suggest she follow him round with it my dad spent the whole of last time with ds on his lap poor little man.

I think we'd all be banished to the conservatory, so as not to appear rude. step mother would hate for 'people' to think she's rude. even though she is.

So where would you be if not in the front room?

Can't they just come to your house?

Oh Eddas, what a dreadful situation for you. YANBU. Sick can be cleaned up fgs. Has this come from your dad or your step mum? Can you talk to your dad about how isolated it makes you feel? x

i doubt she's sick phobic as she's a nurse.

I know it's their house and totally understand but as someone else said he is supposed to be their grandchild My MIL has carpets that are new and she would rather he wasn't sick but would never banish him she just clears it up. Infact last time she had my dc overnight ds had a d&v bug and ds was sick everywhere projectile style

It sounds rubbish and awful, but it sounds as if your dad is trying to keep the peace and it would be a shame for him not to see his daughter and grandchildren even if he does appear not to have made the greatest choice in partners.

It sounds like you wouldn't be able to relax in the front room anyway so why don't you suggest that you go to the conservatory or if the weather is half way decent ( ha ha) suggest that you go outside for a bit.

SOL, i think i'm gonna have to talk to him I know it'll have come from step mother.

Bit of background, dd was not invited to their wedding as they didn't want any children there she was the only child that could possibly have gone as they are too old to have friends with babies/young children

Oh Eddas that's horrible. I don't think I'd go tbh, I'd be tempted to say why as well. Poor DS.

oh and they could come to my house I might suggest that actually.

always

Message withdrawn

Wow, I wouldn't go. Sick can be cleaned up. My mum is a real bad snob and funny about her things, but even she wouldn't go that far! DS has got his sticky fingers on expensive wallpaper (not so easily cleaned!) but my mum understands that's the 'price she has to pay' for the joy of having her grandson in the house. What a wally (him, not you).

I had a similar situation when mine were small. We ended up just not bothering to go as it was too horrible being confined to the conservatory or kitchen and having MiL standing over them with wipes and dust buster all the time. They weren't even allowed to do colouring books in case bits of colour came off... we are talking molecule sized bits of colour here