To think this is simple misogyny?

[Circularargument]

Hearing a relative at a party sounding off about how much she disliked and was disliked by their mother, ex mil, and 2 grandmothers but the male halves of all those pairs were just wonderful?
Especially as my memory was that at least one of the men was not very nice at all and bullied his wife constantly?

Maybe they were wonderful to her and she didn't see that side of them?

Maybe her memories were different to yours? Just because the man might have been nasty to one woman doesn't mean he was to every woman. Just because the women might have been victims doesn't mean they weren't nasty people themselves. Nor does it mean they treated everyone else with equal respect.

Funny that it's all the women and none of the men though?

Especially as my memory was that at least one of the men was not very nice at all and bullied his wife constantly?

But he may have been nice to your relative?

Maybe your relative is the misogynist, who got her just desserts from the women in her family?

Well, that's what I meant, she seemed very down on all the women and very uncritical of all the men...

Well, no, not really. Most of these people are related to each other and people gossip. People have generational behaviours.

Maybe the relative had bad luck with their family.

I have a lot of very difficult women in my family. The men aren't perfect but they make more of an effort to get along with everyone and don't get off on conflict like many of my female relatives do. The women in my family tend to be quite bold and outspoken, and seem to gravitate towards more softly spoken male partners. No misogyny involved, it's just how my family is.

Just adding, I've been told I'm one of them, but make a conscious effort not to fall into the same patterns as it really can be very unpleasant if you're on the receiving end. But that's the template I had growing up.