Would you buy manager a birthday gift?

[Eleanorfenton]

Been in my current job 3 months and I have an amazing manager who has Supported me through everything. I have already given £5 in our teams money collection. But wanted to send a gift card or something to her just from me. Am I ok to do this or is it too much?

That's a kind thought and I'm glad you're finding your manager supportive. But I'd feel quite uncomfortable if one of my team gave me an individual birthday present.

I think it’s too much. Wish her a happy birthday in person. Treat her to a coffee next time you do a coffee run. Cards and gifts are OTT.

Oh really? Why?

Bit much, teams collection is more than enough

It’s unnecessary, they’re your boss, not your friend.

You’ve already contributed to the collection, anything more is effusive and weird tbh? You’ve only known them a short while, anyway managers are supposed to be supportive.

God now you have all made feel like a weirdo!

Having a collection is pretty odd, frankly. Definitely don’t buy a gift on top.

Yeah it's too much, buy her a coffee or something

No - act with the team for now. You’re still a newbie. Next year, when you’re established in the team, you’ll have a better idea of whether it’s appropriate or not.

I think it’s too much at this point.

She’s my manager not anyone else’s but we are apart of a wider team.

What everyone else said.

It's a lovely idea. I've done this too in the past, when I genuinely wanted to do nice things for everyone! But it was unnecessary & all part of me putting others before myself / family.

What would be lovely is to let the manager know that you feel supportive & happy in the team, and thank her for this. (Not for her birthday, just as appropriate).

I'm a manager & it's rare to get the positive feedback!

Gifts flow down, not up.

Maybe a normal card (given privately) just saying 'thank you for the support over the last few months. I have felt welcomed and valued and I wanted to thank you for that')

But it sounds a bit brown nosed.

I was only going to buy a coffee gift card for her just to say thanks. But now I’m guessing that’s not the right thing to do.

I would but then it would seem I’m in the minority!

You're not a weirdo, you're lovely!

But it's not necessary.

The coffee suggestion is a good one.

Over time it may be that you have a different relationship eg I would buy my manager Christmas gifts or bring her something small from holidays - but we were friends first. Relationship changed somewhat when she became my manager so we don't do it to the same extent but we'd both still exchange gifts at certain times.

But I wouldn't go buying a new manager a birthday gift.

So would I. Strange responses on here. There's nothing wrong with doing it at all. Different if you were spending lots of money and making it awkward, but a coffee voucher is nice. Go for it!

You said it was for her birthday?

If you want to thank her, take her for coffee.

But there's no need to do something. She's doing her job. I'd feel very uncomfortable if one of my team felt they had to give me a gift on that basis (unlikely!)

It could create an awkward dynamic too - at some point she may be unhappy about something or you may want to raise an issue with her. Easier to keep it professional - and buying her a coffee works in that context.

a coffee voucher is nice

No that's definitely awkward. It's a voucher, so a set amount.

Also OP has already contributed to a team gift (a bit odd in itself).

There's no need to do more, just because she's a supportive manager.

I can't turn it down, too rude, would have to accept it. I'd feel conscious that someone was spending money on me when they earn less than me. I'd be nervous of others' reactions - are you trying to create a closer relationship than I have with other staff? I wouldn't want to set a precedent and have to buy you or other people birthday presents in return or indeed remember anyone's birthday at all. I don't like coffee and would have to spend the entire rest of the time we worked together pretending I did. But I would still think it was very sweet of you, despite feeling uncomfortable, and I would keep all the above to myself.

Yes, all of this!

Though I do remember my team's birthdays - but text / say happy birthday, that's it!

Absolutely never. I have never even known when my managers' birthdays are.

If you're particularly grateful for what she's done, the best thing to do in a professional context is to actually tell her this, and tell her specifically what you're grateful for. It's essentially giving her feedback about her job and she'll appreciate it. (Obviously this doesn't have to be pegged to her birthday.)

As others have said, in a workplace gifts should only flow down, not up.
Buying for a manager is not a good idea and even less so when you ate so new in post.
I think the team collection is also awkward, possibly a work tradition, but Imo a bad one.

I think it depends on the culture of your workplace, size of team, relationships etc. Some have said even a collection is weird, I don’t necessarily think it is if that’s how the workplace works! I would - and have - bought my manager gifts, but token things like plants or perhaps coffee/sweets I know she likes if she’s had a rough week. But, she’s been my direct line manager as we’ve moved in different roles and teams together for the last 6 years, so we’re established as a working relationship. In your case I’d perhaps go with a card saying happy birthday, thanks for all your support so far, and then consider a gift next year depending on how the working relationship has evolved.