How old is too old for baby #3?

[OohIdreameditagain]

How old is too old for ttc baby #3?

Id love another child, but can’t realistically ttc for another 6/7 months due my company Mat
policy but I’m a bit concerned about leaving it too late.

how old is too old for number 3?

I was 26, 29 and 32 having my three. I'm glad I wasn't any older. I had the energy back then to cope. I think for me personally after say about 38 would have been too much for me.

But it's all down to personal preference and how YOU feel.

@Stealthtax Im so sorry about your mum. I had my Dd at 40 after years of infertility, this makes me so sad, I feel I have a similar amount of energy to friends 10 years younger (we’re probably all
equally knackered!) I’ll be sad if she sees me as being raised by her nan when she’s a teen 😞
I wish I could have had her sooner

It's down to you what age you have your children but I'm astonished that you think you're old at 34!

In my family women have had babies at 42, 43, 45 and 48. It must be our genes but all ok, no problems and no fertility treatment.

If you want a 3rd, have one! As you've said, it makes sense to wait for a good maternity package. So just wait and have a baby when the finances stack up and don't worry about being 34!

Most people I know don't bat an eye at a baby from 38-48 🤷🏼‍♀️

Maybe it's not about what age you are, but how many children you decide to have?

Two was enough for me (and my body.)

I would not have wanted 3 children, ever, as I feel it's too many.

At the same time, I am quite shocked at how many posters here feel that certain ages are 'old' and that they feel 'old'.

The main thing to think about is the risks that come with being an older mother and birth defects that increase. If you can accept that, then age isn't important.

Until contraception was improved women went on having babies right up to the menopause! (and without all the mod cons of today.)

You are in your mid 30s?

You can afford to wait 6m to give you the maternity leave you need.

I had my youngest in my early 40s with no problems but obviously that isn’t possible for everyone.

Thanks to fertility problems I didn’t have my first till I was 36. Second at 38. I’d have had a third but it was not to be.

Is it a thing that if you’ve conceived before you should be ok again? The whole waiting makes me nervous due to age

At 35 unless you have specific health conditions that affect your fertility, pregnancy or your ability to raise kids I'd say that's definitely not too old. I'd consider it as super young but then I had my first at 37 and my second at 42 so I'm biased. Most people I know had their kids in their mid thirties.

I don't think you need to worry about your age. If that's the only factor stopping you then go ahead.

Kindly, @OohIdreameditagain you do seem to have a bit of a skewed perception of age.
Your are 34.
Many women are having their first then.

I have two friends who had their first child at 35/ 37 and went on to have a 2nd before they were 40.

I have another friend who had her 3rd at 37.

Do you really think that waiting 6 months is going to make a massive difference to your fertility?

It's highly unlikely.

I think if you have carried a child to term you are more likely to do so again. I did have two miscarriages and took quite a while to get pregnant with my second but I was in my forties which is very different to 35.

OP you are still so young! I'm 31 and pregnant with my first and still felt like I was announcing a teen pregnancy when we told people!

We're only having 1, but if we felt different I'd have no concern going on to have another 2 or 3 over likely the next 4 - 6 years

I was 42, there was a 10 year gap. She’s now 7 and is such a blessing. I know she’ll grow up, and I really do cherish it all right now.

I was also listening to a podcast on the importance of mindset and aging. Nothing makes you feel young like having a young child.

I would say 40 but that’s probably because I had my two in my twenties. I think the age of existing children influences how people feel.

If you were 45 this might be a more reasonable question.
So many women have not even had their first at 34 and for those struggling with infertility, 34 is still an age when they feel they have years ahead of them to be hopeful for.
I actually find it a rather smug question but I sure that was not how it was intended.

I’ve always heard the 35 as the falling off a cliff age, I know it’s not strictly true but I do have pcos (but for me that just tends to mean long cycles) hence high ovarian reserve. But I think that has impacted me

My health for the most part is good, ibs but no actual health conditions.

I'm confused.

You said you have no health conditions, (above) but now say you have PCOS.

Do you actually have PCOS or just longer cycles (that are normal)?

No one knows at any age if they can conceive.

Fertility does decline after 35 but most women can probably conceive between 35-40.

If finances and your career are a factor then you have no choice but we wait, surely? So I don't understand your question.

When you can TTC, you will.

PCOS is not just longer (normal) cycles- it's a condition where some women have just 3-4 cycles a year, increased body hair, acne and weight gain.

If you don't have a diagnosis, then it's not accurate to say you have PCOS.

My personal cut off would have been probably 32/33 but I had mine earlier than that anyway

What's yours? That's all that matters

Don’t tell me about my health, you’re not my GP.

it is a complex endocrine disorder that manifests differently in different people. The diagnosis is based on meeting 2 of the criteria, long or irregular cycles and a blood test that showed an imbalance of fsh and LH. BUT I don’t struggle with weight or excess androgens and on a recent ultra sound I didn’t have multi folicular ovaries so different gynaes have get aspersions on if I actually have it or not, or If I have the lean subtype of pcos

For me, my pcos doesn’t feel like a health condition as it just manifests in long cycles heavily impacted by stress

So many posters here seem to think it's all totally about choice when it's not.

My friends who had their first child in their mid 30s didn't choose that. They just didn't meet the right man until close to that age.

The majority of my friends married at around 30 (or found their partner then) and had their first child in their early -mid 30s.

If you were 'settled' in your early 20s and had children young, you could be considered 'lucky' but now, it's more the norm to have a child later. I think the average age of a first birth is just under 30.

For me, my pcos doesn’t feel like a health condition as it just manifests in long cycles heavily impacted by stress

Have you actually been diagnosed with PCOS?

It's really not fair to keep saying you have this (when some women DO and have issues conceiving.)

If you do have PCOS then you should have said so in your first post as that changes everything.

I love this answer!

I think its personal, so many people are having babies later these days, pushing the 'average' age of mothers to much older than it once was. It depends on you and your health and your desire for more children. You only get one shot at life, don't stop at a certain age because you fear others judgement.

Imagine your family dinner table at Christmas when you are 70, and how you want it to be? Id quite like a 30yo around me when I was 70 to keep me young and engaged rather than feeling old and tired. x

Me too.