Page 4 | Hubby wanted lap dance but never got one

Bellybutton88 · 2023-11-12T11:18:06+00:00

My husband of 10 years (together for 20 years now and we're married with 2 kids) recently admitted to me that on a stag do before we were married he wanted to get a lap dance at a strip club but never got one because he didn't have enough cash. He asked the stripper he wanted to do the same with if he could have one for free - of course she turned him down. He insists he hasn't wanted one since and has never had one. He doesn't go to those types of establishments other than during stags , so he's only ever been to strip clubs twice. AIBU to be upset?

MrsTerryPratchett · 13/11/2023 17:09

Haydenn · 13/11/2023 16:37

Particularly as her husband is likely to have learned his lesson and is unlikely to run out of money on this one…

Edited

Show quote history

And it's so cheap to buy trafficked women there he won't need a lot.

Original poster

Bellybutton88 · 13/11/2023 18:39

booksandbeans · 13/11/2023 16:13

An ill advised visit to a strip club 10 years ago is probably not worth losing too much sleep over, but a ‘lads trip’ (guess they are in their 40’s now, not really lads anymore) to Thailand 10 years later is pushing boundaries. How do the other wives feel about this?

Apparently they are all OK with it and I'm the only one with an issue 🙄

OP posts:

RhiWrites · 13/11/2023 18:47

🎻 this is the world’s tiniest violin playing for the guy who didn’t get a lap dance on his stag night and still regrets it.

I sure hope he’s not as shallow and stupid as this makes him sound, OP. Unless he has some amazing qualities I’d be rethinking this relationship.

paintingvenice · 13/11/2023 19:28

RhiWrites · 13/11/2023 18:47

🎻 this is the world’s tiniest violin playing for the guy who didn’t get a lap dance on his stag night and still regrets it.

I sure hope he’s not as shallow and stupid as this makes him sound, OP. Unless he has some amazing qualities I’d be rethinking this relationship.

Will you play the violin for free for me please? I have great musical appreciation, but have forgotten my purse

Original poster

Bellybutton88 · 16/11/2023 15:33

I just pressed him more about this and he admitted that he bought some condoms before going to the club as the guys dared him to. He insisted he didnt use the condoms but instead a few of the other guys did and he gave them all away. When he asked the stripper for a dance he had the condoms in his pocket. He said they were never intended for his own use. I really don't know what to believe or do. He volunteered this information because I said i will just ask one of the guys directly what happened. He must have panicked cos he spilled it all, but insists there is nothing more to tell and that he never cheated.

OP posts:

Catza · 16/11/2023 17:03

Bellybutton88 · 16/11/2023 15:33

I just pressed him more about this and he admitted that he bought some condoms before going to the club as the guys dared him to. He insisted he didnt use the condoms but instead a few of the other guys did and he gave them all away. When he asked the stripper for a dance he had the condoms in his pocket. He said they were never intended for his own use. I really don't know what to believe or do. He volunteered this information because I said i will just ask one of the guys directly what happened. He must have panicked cos he spilled it all, but insists there is nothing more to tell and that he never cheated.

Sorry, but this is absolute rubbish. There are strict rules in strip clubs which prohibit you from touching dancers. There isn't even such a thing as a lap dance anymore, you just get a private dance in a small room - the dancer is nowhere near you, there is no touching/rubbing/kissing or anything crazy like that. Either your husband is winding you up, his friends were winding him up or they weren't at a strip club. Because if they were, nobody would have any use for condoms unless they were blowing balloons.

MrsTerryPratchett · 16/11/2023 17:43

Bellybutton88 · 16/11/2023 15:33

I just pressed him more about this and he admitted that he bought some condoms before going to the club as the guys dared him to. He insisted he didnt use the condoms but instead a few of the other guys did and he gave them all away. When he asked the stripper for a dance he had the condoms in his pocket. He said they were never intended for his own use. I really don't know what to believe or do. He volunteered this information because I said i will just ask one of the guys directly what happened. He must have panicked cos he spilled it all, but insists there is nothing more to tell and that he never cheated.

He's telling you just as much as he thinks you can prove. And no more. Which means you can't trust a word he says.

BTW in Thailand women are falling over themselves to offer paid sex. My BF joined me and I was unwell for a bit he found it really hard because every bar, every place someone was offering sex. He ended up finding a very weird bar with magic shows where he could have a drink in peace.

Yours doesn't seem the type to avoid happy endings.

pinkyredrose · 16/11/2023 17:50

Why would he take condoms, does he think strippers are prostitutes?

SwordToFlamethrower · 16/11/2023 17:58

Bellybutton88 · 16/11/2023 15:33

I just pressed him more about this and he admitted that he bought some condoms before going to the club as the guys dared him to. He insisted he didnt use the condoms but instead a few of the other guys did and he gave them all away. When he asked the stripper for a dance he had the condoms in his pocket. He said they were never intended for his own use. I really don't know what to believe or do. He volunteered this information because I said i will just ask one of the guys directly what happened. He must have panicked cos he spilled it all, but insists there is nothing more to tell and that he never cheated.

Go and speak to one of the guys and say "dh has told me the truth about his stag doo 10 years ago that he really did have a lap dance. He won't tell me anything more but I reckon he had sex with a prostitute as well, tell me the truth!"

At that point, he friend will probably say "oh no he didn't sleep with anyone, it was just a lapdance!"

They will admit to the lesser offence.

So be a bit tricksy but if I were you, that is what I would do.

Obviously dont tell your dh you're going to talk to anyone

SwordToFlamethrower · 16/11/2023 18:01

If he chooses to go to Thailand, use the time to pack his stuff and dump it on the lawn or at his mother's. Change the locks and divorce the lying, cheating pos

faithinagape · 16/11/2023 18:08

The fact that he has even shared this with you proves he has no intention of doing it again. It's embarrassing. He didn't have to tell you but he was honest with you. What more can you ask for. It was before he committed himself to you as your husband. I agree with the others with regards to ensuring it's a boundary you have. I personally have never agreed with stag do's persay and it's a boundary for my marriage to never enter such places. If you feel this way, express it and continue to love one another.

Potentially give him a lap dance yourself. Our husbands can only be with us. Within reason, if there is something we know our husband likes or is interested in, there is no harm in connecting with our husband in such a way. Have fun with one another.

MrsTerryPratchett · 16/11/2023 18:17

The fact that he has even shared this with you proves he has no intention of doing it again.

Just before he wants to go to Thailand? Naive doesn't cover this.