Is being the other woman feminist act?

[BubbleNotPeak]

You are being unreasonable - No

You are not being unreasonable - Yes

Can it be considered somewhat a feminist act in some way?

I think as a feminist, the woman might well question why what she apparantly 'wanted to do' and the way her desire to 'be bold' and 'flout convention' manifested itself also happened to be an act that very much served the interests of men.
I think she might then think to herself hang on a minute..am I really doing this for me, or have I been a teeny bit manipulated to think that serving men in this particular way is a new type of empowerment, rather than boring old fashioned exploitation?

How is it 'feminist' if your rule breaking and challenging norms consists of shagging some married man

I don't think you have thought your question through at all - it's gibberish

In fairness, if your 'Feminism' is 3rd wave, sex work is work, empowerment bullshit them yes, I suppose, it could be.

In the same way that Boris Johnson is a 'Feminist'.

You can’t shout ‘feminism!!’ to justify an affair

No because she’s going to cause hurt to another woman.

Also, relying on a man to make yourself feel bold and doing what you want is not feminist.

That's not called feminism. That's called being a homewrecking tart.

How is colluding with a man to hurt another woman a feminist act????

Nothing feminist about colluding with and supporting a selfish entitled man child to steal the personal agency and right to informed sexual consent from another woman.

Feminism isn’t about that though. There’s nothing admiral about someone being the other women or the other man.

Ummm... what?

It's basically the principals behind the free love movement? If you as a feminist believe no one belongs to one another then the tropes of marriage don't apply to you, because you think of it as part of the patriarchy. Maybe? It's thought provoking. This thread came up on the general page so you will get a lot of people not getting your discussion.

I am married and I believe in marriage and am happy and wouldn't see the feminist argument myself- should this situation present.

I love these discussions however.

I think not because it let's me get what they want and supports them fucking over another woman (the man fucking over his wife) so I don't think a feminist act can result in harm to another woman. I'm sure their are exceptions to this, but in general.

To the 'I'm not a feminist' gang, how can a woman not be a feminist, its like a turkey voting for Christmas

There's nothing feminist and bold about shagging another woman’s husband/partner. It's just a tawdry and utterly commonplace act of moral incontinence.

I get it right enough. I just think that if a feminist want to smash the patriarchal institution of marriage, she needs to find a means that doesn't add to male privelege and make other women collateral damage.

Mumsnet provide the voting option for readers to express their opinion of the OP. It is not a poll service. So YABU for that and YABU for your OP. HTH.

I think some women have tried to step away from the "feminist" as they maybe don't see themselves as what some people are trying label feminism as now, it doesn't align with their beliefs of feminism anymore.

It's nothing to do with feminism.

I don't understand why anyone would want to be an 'other woman', you're basically getting yourself involved with a guaranteed dirty cheat, a man with no loyalty or morals. You could never trust him because you know 100% he's a lying bastard, I wouldn't want to have sex with him because who knows how many others he's slept with and what he could be passing about.

So no I don't think it's a bold casting off of social convention, I think it's a foolish waste of time and emotion that's going to end badly.

Like a woman being bold to behave how she likes without following societal rules and conventions?

By sucking the dick of another woman's husband?

What sort of complete and utter idiot would posit that theory?

The concept of "the other woman" has existed since humans invented monogamy, and for a significant amount of time that has been under patriarchal conditions. Having an affair with a married man does absolutely nothing to further the cause of feminism, otherwise we'd have gained equality millenia ago. Maybe try ethical non-monogamy if you don't like the idea of people in committed relationships "belonging" to each other. That way some poor woman won't have the rug pulled out from under her feet when your deceit gets exposed.

It's not exactly an act of sisterhood, is it?

Exactly. I can't quote the quotee ( or whatever) .

My mind is in a fuddle about this.

Maybe I feel this- not sure..

Because my vows and promises are made to a man , they are his alone.

Would I hate a women for blowing this up- yes. Would I blame her - no.

The ultimate betrayal to a woman being a woman taking another man... that's not to me the route and stem of feminism.

I think ultimately any woman claiming to be a feminist would not do this. So it's philosophical. If you are a true feminist can you betray a woman and still be a feminist.

Mind melt time. Love this. Somone clever with a doctorate please come along ..

My spell check on that post has not done my argument any favours.

Following your fanny and leaving a trail of hurt? No that's not feminism, it's just a lack of morals