People moving out of cities but wanting all the things that a city offers

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Messages go something like this;
Hi, my husband and two kids and I are moving out of our one bed flat in x city and would like to find an area we can afford a four bedroom detached house. It MUST have great transport links to a neighbouring city, a thriving home Ed community, vegan bakery, great Lebanese food, a variety of brunch places and cool live music venues.

But that's why we all live in cities?!! There is no magical semi rural place with all the nice, cultural bits, jobs, facilities, public transport with cheap houses.
City life isn't for everyone so you either compromise on space or location. If you move out to the suburbs or the countryside then you know that you will no longer have those things in walking distance.
This is not just on mumsnet but in real life too. I work in a much cheaper area, bits are nicer, there is more green space but it's just not worth giving up the job opportunities, museums and like minded people you get in a city. My friends that have moved out have changed their whole life styles, more driving, more countryside, more meals in chain restaurants in retail parks, I'm not judging it at all! As someone who can barely afford to live here, I can't afford to eat out at all so all the new, cool pop up street food places are wasted on me anyway. But I still love being here.
AIBU

Faversham?

We have the same but the opposite l, people who move to parts of the city that are densely populated, in a high street near a music venue.

and complain day in day out, about noise, teenagers existing outside, late night events or whatever else.

it’s so boring, they want city life but sanitised but can’t afford Muswell Hill so just live to moan and ruin it for everyone else

Once every 6 months🤣

Depends on what you like. If muddy fields and dogs turn you on the countryside is the best place for you. If it's shops and some life then the city is the best place.

Stroudie here, can confirm sadly.
Though it's not as bad as it was during/shortly after covid - around '21 The Times voted it the best place to live, and i think that, combined with the covid induced generally difficult market sent house prices through the roof (pardon the pun). The town FB page had frequent housing requests from people looking to move from London/SE, and many had a very clear idea of what they wanted/expected the town to be like, and it often wasn't based in reality.

I've lived here decades and love it, and i genuinely love people moving here and embracing the slightly ragged arsed, relaxed feel of the place but please for the love of god don't buy a place on the common and then moan about the cows - or hit them with your bloody Range Rover - or set up another 'artisan' anything 😄

Agree. Esp The stampede to countryside during Covid, selling up moving to Dungsville
Then moaning.
Oh it’s…
Too rural. Too out doorsy
no patisserie
no dance therapy for Ptolemy
no available Portuguese speaking nannies
no private schools
No independent galleries
no wine merchants
no apothecaries

christ, you mean it’s not Islington?

@airforsharon ha- I love popping to Stroud on the odd Saturday as it's only 20 miles or so for us - but it isn't 'polished' - and I think that's what some expect- same goes for Frome. They think it will be like nicer bits of London- with cows- and it isn't

Cantebury?

Zone2 "no dance therapy for Ptolemy"

you win the thread 😂

especially as I think Ptolemy is a cat.

YANBU. I moved from London (NOT by choice!) to a moribund market town. It's bloody awful ... unless you're a wellies, dogs & horses person. Which I'm not. Which is why I lived in London.

After 14 years despairing of the place ever moving out of the 1970s, I'm thrilled that somebody's opened a cute little bar in a perfectly-pitched 'revived traditional' style. I couldn't be rooting for them harder, but the only actually good restaurant has gone bust after two years of sterling effort. Even the Spar shop and post office are desperately seeking new investors.

If they can't survive, what hope is there for a funky bar? There is money here - out in the country, from where they probably take the helicopter somewhere better when they want to go out. They sure as hell don't pop into town for a quick bevvy and antipasto.

I've seen the "too good for the locals" artists & crafters come and go. There's little public transport, no taxi service so no Uber or JustEat, and the only non-British grocery is Polish. The place is 98.5% white according to the government, and I'm surprised it's as much as 1.5% brown!

Could be worse. When I first came here I lived in a tiny village with no pub, shop, pavements or street lights. The countryside's nice. It's mostly fenced off 😬

So true OP! And I've never seen it pointed out on MN before 😂

Just mad isn't it-do people not engage their brains?

I have even taken a hit moving to a (non-rural) village, some 20 mins from the nearest city. That's all-BUT I used to live right on the edge of a (small) city. I took it for granted that I could walk into the city in about ten minutes at any point and buy more or less anything, have somewhere to meet people, some good pubs and restaurants.

I'm lucky that my village has some good shops in the centre, and some nice pubs-but it isn't the same as city life, and that's a SMALL transition. You do see so many threads from people wanting to move to the country but wanting everything the countryside isn't-why?!

@Hatty65 this is a real problem in Lincolnshire, my father lived in a bungalow on a small new build estate and nearly everyone had moved away from where they used to live when they retired. The vicar who took my dad’s funeral told me that he and his wife were the only couple left in a close of bungalows they had retired to, they were key holders for six elderly neighbours whose families lived a long way away and frequently needed ambulances.

@kaka79 unfortunately I think they are often too frail by then as above, and I rural areas carers can be even more difficult to come by.

DH and I have moved within an hour of our children now we have retired, to a small town with all the services we need. We are not old yet at 59 and 61, but I think it is wise to think of our future needs.

An AIBU we all agree on, who’d have think it? Unprecedented

I live rurally, farmland at the front and back. 30 minutes drive to the nearest city centre and I feel like I have the perfect set up. I'm in the city around twice a week, but wouldn't like to live in a city. No way could I live here if I didn't drive. The people who complain that there's 'nothing to do here' are mostly people who don't drive.

There are ALWAYS wine merchants. Generally ones your cousin was at school with.
Apothecaries are scarcer, though we can generally recommend a white witch, or a hedgerow doctor.

This is also my experience , I am a mile away from city centre ( as the crow flies), but it takes two buses or an underground and a bus with substantial walks both ways and by the way, it is fares for each so can cost me a lot for such a small distance to travel wtaf

YANBU. I come from a once small village that has trebled in size since I was a child. It's infuriating when people move there and moan about what's missing, a lack of parking etc. They are currently battling to stop massive development all over the County and the closest village, which has also grown a great deal and has a train station will inevitably spread further out into what were orchards and hop gardens. I don't see a way round it, but when people use the argument that their 4 kids, who have grown up there should be able to raise their own families there, I'm gobsmacked. Magic wand / Tardis maker anyone? There will be no more villages left, and I'm sad for a way of life that will be lost, while thankful that I was able to grow up in such a place and time.

Living in a town is a great compromise 👍

Not this one!

Mind you, it's the size of a 'village' in civilisation.

Yup. I'm in my 60s and conscious of the fact that I may not be allowed to drive once I hit 70 - depending on my health at the time.

I currently live in a not terribly pretty town, but at least I have transport links here. My cousin keeps telling me to sell up and move to the country, where he lives. Not a good idea, in my view: I'm a childless widow and much better off being somewhere close to the doctor's surgery, etc.

@StillSmallVoice are you in Canterbury- we lived there for 8 years- only really moved away because all our friends moved away and work suddenly changed. It's a lovely option for some people-I've got a very soft spot for it

I feel like a lot times ppl don't do any research before moving somewhere which is a little baffling.

Mentioning Hexham made me think of my favourite pub, The Gun, Ridsdale, Hexham. Obviously close by to me (a townie) but 20 miles and half an hour by car ... if you're travelling at Midnight.

ps Recognising that you all know each other in the countryside, please pass on my regards to Mrs Smith.