Feeling isolated by work colleagues

[mickey54]

AIBU for being so upset about a situation at work? I work in an office environment with 8 other people. Today two of the staff were discussing an outing they had arranged with the team in front of me, which transpired a WhatsApp group has been created by one said member of staff and I was the only one excluded then proceeded to discuss it in front of me.
this is the second time now that I have been excluded and then they have discussed it in front of me. I feel so upset that People are cruel and unkind. I told my manager I felt like I was being singled out. I must say this is a very clicky environment with several staff in a click so the whole situation is unpleasant. I just don’t know what to do or whether being upset is normal. It’s hard to think your colleagues must dislike you so much ! I don’t know what to do ? AIBu ??? X

@mickey54 The person who set it up has done it on purpose. They don't care that you're excluded that's not their prob. I'm so sorry it's happening to you.

Has it now been resolved?

@Mia2468 sounds awful and similar situation. X

@Dibbydoos yes this is how I feel it looks as if on purpose. Not yet no. Thinking about how to go about it although my manager is going to try to address it x

What do you want your manager to do though?
Stop any talk of things outside work during work? It sounds like your colleagues were having a private conversation about what they'd done, not a big group discussion?
If that is what you want then would it not be a blanket ban on any non work related topics not just 'you can't discuss things if mickey's not invited'?
Are they allowed to discuss their plans at unpaid breaks or is the problem being on work property?

@MyGooseisTotallyLoose yes, if the connection is work between those involved, the workplace can carry joint liability, along with those who are responsible for doing or saying anything awful. (Usually things like assault or anything which contravenes the equality act)

Our lawyers use examples in our training and it's bloody terrifying.

And yes, there's always the risk of people just stirring up shit. If you're senior anywhere it's often not worth the risk of mixing colleagues and alcohol.

Most workplaces take a pragmatic view but I've seen all sorts.

They're doing it deliberately to wind you up and play a twisted power game.

I wouldn't give them the satisfaction of knowing you give a damn.

Why not get on a call on your mobile one lunchtime and loudly discuss your plans for a big night out coming up and show them you've got your own social life and you couldn't care less about them.

alternatively the next time they start talking about another social they've had, get involved in the discussion and find out how it went, where did they go, what was the food like etc. it'll take the wind out of their sails if nothing else!

@daisychain01 good idea! Definitely did it on a purpose!

Yep

@hurlyb thanks for this, I agree the employers have to be accountable when it’s their employees. Luckily my manager has taken it seriously and acting x

are they a lot younger than you?
if so, are they doing something age appropriate that they assumed you wouldn't enjoy?

Indeed.

@ThinWomansBrain no not at all. Only doing something I would usually do. Seems on a purpose x