Working on christmas day, the entitlement of others

[Mysticcatmum]

I have a job in a 111 NHS call centre, the office is open 24hrs 7 days a week. I have just been given my Christmas rota and to my delight I have been given off Xmas day (which I have worked previous years).

Now I have had an influx of colleagues who have children, asking me to cover their shifts since 'I have no children'.

So, my question is, AIBU for thinking that I do not (apprantly) deserve to have a christmas off with my family (who have had a rough year) all for the sake of those who have children, who have been off previous years?

Everyone was childless at some point and those with children don’t have them forever. I still can’t see it’s entitled for young families to ask for the day off.

What about people who will never have children, through circumstance or choice?

@lightisnotwhite yes it is..... but not expected to swap every year because you are childless.... because if you swap 1 year for those reasons...they'd expect you to do that every year.

Yes Christmas is about doing things for others.... one example is accepting that if your rota is saying it's your turn to work... you do... not approach childless people for a swap... because you have children!

Yes I know people volunteer at Christmas (you don't say that you do) but I find caring for people within my community who are unwell at Christmas and sometimes being the only person they see that day is what I can manage on that day.
Charity is all year around

@lightisnotwhite I was childless for 12 of my 16 year career. I suffered from infertility. This gave me the perspective that everyone should take their turn to work..that everyone has family and friends.
If I never had my miracle daughter.... would I be expected every year for people to approach me to swap my shifts because I'm childless??
Hell no! That would be like a knife to the heart!
I would never do that to someone!

@MoserRothOrangeandAlmond so theres no line between personal and professional? Everyone has personal issues that’s not works fault.
I’m sure now you have a child you will have to have the juggle between being an employee and being a mum.

Why should one swap mean people “expect it every year?”

Of course some people will never have children. They will have doubtless have reasons why some Christmas’s are more crucial than others too. It’s literally a window of 5 or 6 years where Father Christmas/ Santa Claus is the magic. Then they grow up and it won’t be such a big deal.

Why should one swap mean people “expect it every year?”

For the exact reason you set out in your post. It's a window of 5-6 years where "the magic happens". So you swap with Anna in say, year 2, then when year 3 rolls around... "but but but the magic!!!". So you swap in year 3. Then year 4 rolls around, "the magic is still happening!!!!"

You finally get to year 7. Anna has now had one more child who is in year 2 and the whole thing begins all over again.

And if by some miracle Anna hasn't had another child, Beth has had her first and that child is in year 2 and "but but but the magic!"

I've worked the last 7 Christmases. My refusal to work an 8th has literally seen two of my colleagues report me to HR for being so selfish and discriminatory. You give an inch and people take a mile. Not everyone, but all you need is one. And all workplaces have one.

I've worked the last 7 Christmases. My refusal to work an 8th has literally seen two of my colleagues report me to HR for being so selfish and discriminatory.

Bitches! I hope their Christmas present is that they get the sack!

Yes, I'm contracted to 30 hours...therefore I work 30 hours.
I have flexibility with shifts so I only work 2-3 days per week so I can have more time with my daughter for the rest of the year!!
Santa is a very small part of this... festive season starts at the beginning of Advent for us!
You can still have magic on other days!
What happens when people have 2/3 children? You can have years of 'the magic' that parents think they need off!

As I'm at work this year... my husband will help out daughter to put the things out for Santa.

I'd be very interested to hear how HR deal with that.

the answer is .....

.... no I can't change my day off, I have plans.

I make the multiple children point on these threads all the time - I have 6 children.

No way should my DHs colleagues (I worked in schools so it wasn’t relevant for me) have to give him priority for the “magic years” - that’s been the last 15 years for us!

Yes and then there will be another parent with another child to replace the one that has got older who will put pressure on the child free to swap

@JenniferBooth yes! Working in a female dominant profession it comes up a lot. It would never end!
I couldn't imagine my dad as a police officer using the small children card! As a lot of his colleagues had young families both male and female.

If you choose to work a job that requires you to work Christmas, then it’s on you to suck it up and work those shifts when it’s your turn 🤷🏻‍♀️

You having kids and thinking it’s necessary to be there with them on Christmas Day isn’t a problem for your colleagues (childless, childfree or fellow parents), or anything to do with them at all.

I imagine HR told them to go and whinge at the manager but I've been staying well out of it. It certainly doesn't seem to have achieved the outcome they were hoping for as I'm still off. They keep threatening to call in sick though, which I'm pretty sure will happen.

@fitzwilliamdarcy is your manager likely to phone you and hassle you to come in if they do pull the sickie card?

Definitely. I’ll be turning my phone off. They’ve made this my problem for too many years now - it needs to inconvenience management in order for it to be properly dealt with.

Hero right here!
Good luck. You are absolutely right that it has to inconvenience the ones above for some action to happen.
I understand that disciplinary for sickie is not really a away to go usually, but there should absolutely be something they can do after considering thry are actually publicly discussing pulling a sickie!
If provable it would be misconduct no?

I was just about to ask if you have two phones. If i was in this situation i would be giving my employer my older phone number then turning that one off and keeping my current phone on.

I cant help noticing that its child free women being inconvienienced by this not child free men. Maybe its because its more of a problem in female dominated professions.

Has any child free woman in a profession that employs men in an equal ratio reading this been asked to swap or cover for parents before a child free male staff member is asked. Im interested to know if sexism is playing its part in this.

If they pull a sickie en masse it should be bloody obvious to management.

@fitzwilliamdarcy will be waiting in 2024 for an update on that - Shocking treatment of them to you. Hope rest of your colleagues are supporting you as well

@JenniferBooth I cant help noticing that its child free women being inconvienienced by this not child free men.

Tbf you're probably just seeing that because this forum is mainly women. DH is a nurse and is having the same issues with entitled (female) parents, but his (CF male) manager sticks to his guns and rotates the shifts annually.

I bet there is a bit of sexism though - I can imagine older women in our department thinking the CF men in their 20s need to be with their mums, while the CF women in their 20s may as well work because they don't have 'a family'. Fortunately these women I'm thinking of aren't in positions of power.

Good points. I was coming at it from a sex discrimination angle. I know being child free by choice isnt a protected characteristic although seeing some of the attitudes on here changes need to made but if child free female employees are expected to fill in and make sacrifices more than child free male employees theres your discrimination

If they're stupid enough to grandstand about pulling a protest sickie, they'll presumably get fired.

The trouble with this is that the employer will very likely lean on the child free employee to come in and that will be the employers way of sorting it.

If I had my wits about me and that call came in, I would ignore it - or mute/block that number from ahead of time both my mobile phone and landline until I needed to return to work. 🌹

"Why should one swap mean people “expect it every year?”

These are our lived experiences. Every Christmas, every Easter, every school holiday I would get asked, or TOLD, that I should "be kind" (or whatever the phrase was at that time). So yes it IS expected every year.

And by the time one "devoted mother" can finally no longer use her child another one comes along.

And it isn't just for those 5-6 "magic years", I would get asked to cover because "little Timmy is at Uni and only home for a few days in the holidays" so I should "be kind" so they could spend time with their precious offspring. Never mind that "Little Timmy" is 21, 6ft 4 rugby playing adult who is only free for that week because he's planning on pissing up the rest of his holidays with his mates, and is mainly coming home to save money, get fed & get mum to do his washing.