Working on christmas day, the entitlement of others

[Mysticcatmum]

I have a job in a 111 NHS call centre, the office is open 24hrs 7 days a week. I have just been given my Christmas rota and to my delight I have been given off Xmas day (which I have worked previous years).

Now I have had an influx of colleagues who have children, asking me to cover their shifts since 'I have no children'.

So, my question is, AIBU for thinking that I do not (apprantly) deserve to have a christmas off with my family (who have had a rough year) all for the sake of those who have children, who have been off previous years?

Then that’s on you to get the fuck over. Or sit and seethe some more if you’re so inclined 🤷🏻‍♀️

Christmas is a cultural holiday as well as a religious one. If parents work in jobs that require them to work over Christmas then they can’t be surprised when they’re expected to work over Christmas. It isn’t on the childless/childfree to suck up those shifts ‘for the children’.

Why are you having to ask Mumsnet?

Is it for clicks? Of course you really know you ANBU. Stop the drama and just say no and leave off the stirring. If you don’t have kids then why are you on Mumsnet? Do you work for a tabloid and are in desperate need of a feature?

I worked shifts for years, same deal. Unless people are becoming aggressive about swapping don’t worry about the enquiries. Sometimes people prefer to work public holidays for the penalty rates/avoid family/avoid being alone or other reasons so those who want it off will check.

you’ve been given some fantastic ways to say no if you don’t want to swap.

If you don’t have kids then why are you on Mumsnet?

Wow. What an original and valid point. So original that it’s never once been posted before.

(Btw, usually when people use this argument of last resort they capitalise the MUMS in mumsnet to further the point they think they have. Just so you know)

There are VERY many topics which don't include kids...
I found MN via Property, stayed for parking dramas (which used to be much more entertaining).🤷🏻

Just say no thanks I have plans

If the people asking have a partner then of course they’re being ridiculous. DH used to work every Christmas and we’d always see him for at least part of the day. No big deal.
There are a small amount of people for whom working on a bank holiday is really tricky because nurseries are closed so their children would literally be left unattended (and no doubt people with caring responsibilities for adults might find themselves in the same situation). But that’s for them to approach management well in advance, they shouldn’t be trying to get someone else to miss out because they’ve left it too late.

Definately take the time off!
Not only is it your rostered pattern but if people need time off - book AL or submit a flexible pattern. Goes for all working people, parents or not.

All of the OP's colleagues are presumably adults which means even by your logic they are all equally "entitled to Christmas".

The children of some of those colleagues don't factor into that equation because none of them are employees of the company.

What you seem to be suggesting is that adults who have children are more entitled to Christmas than adults who do not have children. This is clearly wrong.

WHEN we have kids??? Some of us don't (whether by choice or circumstances). Or their kids are grown and living away from home. Believe it or not all of us were children once ourselves (though some here do make me doubt that sometimes!) and remember Christmas as a child. And yes it WAS magical. But an awful lot of the magic was in the run up and preparation, the anticipation of the day, and there seems to be an awful lot more "have to do" things in recent years than there was in the 60's and 70's when I was a child. We could easily have celebrated on a different day and if there was a good reason we would understand. The only one of us for who when Christmas was celebrated was important was my mother who was a devout Christian.

What kind of world do we live in that adults think they’re entitled to Christmas Day more than children.

Nobody is saying more entitled than children just that occasionally, once every few years, we may like to take our turn. Not every year, in my case not every other year, but maybe one in 5?

Or is that me being "entitled" to want to visit my family who live 200 miles away who have no other close relatives, maybe help my cousin who ran a farm single handed with a disabled parent to have a slightly lighter day at Christmas? Or because all the parents in the team at work have been too busy "making magic" for their kids the whole of December that they haven't been pulling their weight, and those who are younger are off partying every night & coming in hung over, so I'm exhausted?

Yes, and a fabulous one at that. I’m thankfully not required to work it at all.

It’s very unlikely that I’ll get coal, not least because we’ve got a wood burner.

Stop with the emotional blackmail please.

Very little kids have no idea when Christmas Day actually is and will be just as happy celebrating on any random day in the Christmas holidays. Kids who are old enough to know when Christmas Day is are old enough to understand that Mummy or Daddy's job doesn't stop over Christmas and that some years they might have to have their Christmas Dinner on Boxing Day. Millions of children in the UK have divorced parents and spend all or part of Christmas Day without one of their parents every year. Celebrating on other days is completely normal for them. Other children have lost one or both of their parents or are living in poverty and their parents can't afford presents or fancy dinners.

The only way you having to work on Christmas Day occasionally is going to "ruin" your child's Christmas is if your children are old enough to know when Christmas is and despite the fact that they must be at least five or six years old you have utterly failed to teach them that the world does not revolve around them and that they can't always have everything they want all of the time.

In which case, you are the problem because you are an entitled brat who thinks they should always get whatever they want, raising another generation of entitled brats who think they should always get whatever they want.

In short, this has nothing to do with ruining any children's Christmas. This is about the wants - not the needs - of adults who don't want to take their turn working over Christmas and are using their children as an excuse to tug on the heartstrings of their adult colleagues who have equally valid reasons for wanting Christmas off.

Stop it.

And yes, I have children.

It's funny how many people are horrified by working Christmas Day because they have children yet expect to be able to nip to their local pub for a drink on Christmas Day
Where were my parents when I was a child? Running a pub...

People expect not essential stuff like hospitality to be available but then say nobody with young children should be working

There are lots of people who work shifts who have to work bank holidays.
Eg bin collection, supermarkets, their warehouses, deliveries, post....
Plus those who keep us safe, like ambulance staff, doctors, nurses, police, fire...
Just saying maybe some people should appreciate those who work.

If you don’t have kids then why are you on Mumsnet? Do you work for a tabloid and are in desperate need of a feature

Well aren't you the original one. Noones ever asked that question before 🙄

You do realise there's more to MN than posts about parenting??. People without children have experience and opinions in loads of other topics & MNHQ have made it quite clear that people without children are more than welcome here. Hell there's even a section for MNers without children

Or are you another entitled parent who thinks only your opinion is relevant.

You do realise Mumsnet welcomes women without children and that there is actually a board for them?

Very well said 👏👏👏

I would be mortified if my children grow up to be selfish enough to think they only parents should be allowed to avoid their contractual obligations on Christmas Day.
I would be ashamed if they said “you’ll understand when you have kids” knowing that there are people who are childless not through choice and have experienced heartbreak and infertility. I would hope they’d have more compassion and not say things like that.

It's a rota issue, not an individual's responsibility. Anyone with a genuine reason for why they cannot get to work on Christmas (like single parents with no childcare etc.) will presumably either sort it out with the employer beforehand or call in sick on the day and the employer will then have to sort it. It isn't their coworker's responsibility. People can ask, and they can be told 'no'. That should be the end of it, no one deserves to be guilted about someone else's family arrangements.

It’s always the newbies / name changers with few posts who say shit like this.

I never believed in Santa as a kid, so I guess that meant my parents didn’t deserve a day off work either. I still didn’t get coal! 😂

lightisnotwhite

Why does everyone use the word” entitlement” ? So puerile.
**
Whats entitled about asking for a holiday off that’s special to kids when you have kids. People are just asking”

Not puerile at all. Entitlement is exactly what it is. Christmas is special to people without kids too. Asking OP to give hers up is CF of the highest order.

Your point about dying parents: completely different and irrelevant. Most parents will have many more christmases with their children.

I will never have kids. I had cancer and the treatment made me infertile. I also never wanted kids for lots of reasons, so it wasn't an issue to me when I became infertile.

I am, however, a hospital doctor and if I have to work a Christmas then, like millions of other NHS staff with and without children, I suck it up because that's the deal I agreed to when I decided on a medical career and then decided to stay in secondary care.

If I didn't want to work Christmases then I would have gone into general practice or one of the many other jobs that don't require it.

If I am not in the rota for Christmas then I will have it off and spend it exactly how I wish. I frankly don't care about the childcare arrangements of my colleagues as I am not responsible for their children. It is also not my responsibility to create a magical Christmas for your offspring. I care so little for children that I didn't have them, so, bluntly, why the actual fuck would I care for some random children who I've never met?

The trouble with this is that the employer will very likely lean on the child free employee to come in and that will be the employers way of sorting it.