to be furious at this awful teacher?

[MySweetBubba]

First parents evening for DS, aged 4.5. Teacher gave a long list of things he is not doing well enough at. There were a few positives, but overall she had very little good to say about him. I was fuming!

I have the opposite problem. DS school and the senco lady constantly harp on about how wonderful he is , how helpful and charming and it’s utter bollocks 🤣 I mean, he’s fantastic and very funny but he’s an absolute pain in the arse. On the days I collect him I can see through the window the other children listening to the last few pages of the book or finishing their work or tidying up. He’s usually sat on his own facing the wall with his big jacket zipped up over his head like a giant maggot or he’s pissing about underneath the desk. God love him he’s gorgeous but tell the bloody truth about him being a bloody nuisance. I do know him.

If schools didn't put things in place, the children wouldn't progress. It's as simple as that. A teacher highlighting areas for development at the first parents' evening is not evidence that they aren't doing anything about it. If a lack of progress over time is reported, that's a different matter.

Parents following up was discussed because I said only ask what the school are doing and how you can support if you actually intend to support and aren't just attempting to create a "gotcha" moment with someone you should be cultivating a collaborative relationship with. You said ask anyway. That's disingenuous.

Oh dear.

Of course schools do things and children progress. I'm talking about specific strategies to deal with specific issues. You know there's a big focus now on how every child in a class, and their needs, is the class teacher's responsibility? It's been all too common in the past that some teachers haven't taken this on board.

Do you work in education? If so you will know this.

Some teachers seem to think parents' evening is an excuse to list every small negative thing they have observed about your child, with not a clue how that might come across. We had parents in tears after the first parents' evening at my DS1's school. The teacher was young and keen but with little concept of how much her words had an adverse affect on the parents. DS1 was my pfb and I had no idea how seriously to take it all. You'd have thought my DS was the most backwards child ever with no social skills. Sort of a stealth boast, but he is now 25 with a first class degree in maths from Warwick, lots of friends and earns more that his father. Of course, I wasn't to know that at age 4. The point is neither did she.

My DS2, in contrast, did have quite serious SEN but I knew that, so when she told me 'he won't sit still on the carpet,' I just said, 'I know, tricky isn't it?' with a wry smile.

Flagging up concerns about your child's progress does not make a teacher 'awful', even if it's not what you want to hear. It's their job. It sounds as though the teacher did say at least some positive things, even if you considered it very little.

Sort of a stealth boast, but he is now 25 with a first class degree in maths from Warwick, lots of friends and earns more that his father. Of course, I wasn't to know that at age 4. The point is neither did she.

The point is neither did she? No, that's not the point. She didn't need to know his future career prospects in order to tell you how he was doing at age 4. Teachers are very well aware that progress and success aren't a predictable straight line from 4 to 25! It's not teachers' fault if some parents extrapolate 'The teacher thinks my child will be a failure for the rest of his life' based on some concerns raised about his school work in Reception.

It is important to find some positive things to say though.

What examples did she give?

Do you want to know where your child is struggling so you can help them or do you want to be told your 'sweet bubba' is just amazing in every way?

We need to know what our children are struggling with. We already know how great they are. 😁

This isn't a "big focus" now. Class teachers being responsible for the progress of their children and putting the necessary support in place has been a thing for years. It's a core part of teaching, not an additional or new expectation.

Nothing in the OP's post suggested that any kind of identified need was present, just that the OP was annoyed because the teacher had stated that there were areas where the OP's child was not doing well enough yet. This may merit further investigation but it may simply be that the child is not yet confident with some aspects identified in the Reception baseline assessment. Either way, the school will be doing something about it and sharing the information with parents will be part of them.

If a plan is required then the school will be putting on in place and a parent asking to see that and be part of the process is, of course, absolutely fine. If it's a more formal plan then they should be involved as a matter of course. Advising parents to misled schools and pretend they want to be part of the process when they have no intention of following through, just to try and backfoot the teacher, is not fine.

I find it really surprising that you think so negatively of teachers and schools that you immediately and automatically go to the assumption that either one won't be fulfilling a core part of their role.

OP posted in the middle of the night using a vomit-inducing username and a short and unspecific rant full of emotive language (furious, awful, fuming) and hasn't responded since.

I call TROLL

This isn't a "big focus" now. Class teachers being responsible for the progress of their children and putting the necessary support in place has been a thing for years. It's a core part of teaching, not an additional or new expectation.

It is a big focus because too many teachers don't really understand how much of a responsibility they have for all children, even the ones who may have a named TA.

What is your experience? If you worked in education you would be aware of all this.

Advising parents to misled schools and pretend they want to be part of the process when they have no intention of following through, just to try and backfoot the teacher, is not fine.

This is your invention. Nobody has suggested the parents might say it without meaning it. Except for you.

You beat me to it.

A teacher-bashing thread.

I'm a primary teacher, and don't know what to make of this post as it's extremely vague! OP, if you are genuine, you need to be a bit more detailed for people to respond appropriately.

Yes they will totally internalise this

Why don't they give the kids a break for gods sake

Or for every negative
Put in a positive or two to accompany it

There is no need to catastrophise. The OP's ds' teacher raised some concerns with her. That in no way means that she is saying anything negative to the child!

As I have already pointed out: in reply to my post stating that parents shouldn't ask for a plan and what they can do to support if they aren't going to actually do it, you stated that they should ask anyway.

It is a big focus because too many teachers don't really understand how much of a responsibility they have for all children, even the ones who may have a named TA.

What is your experience? If you worked in education you would be aware of all this.

Class teachers are absolutely aware of the responsibility that they have: it's impossible not to be. To suggest that class teachers have just been ignoring their children's needs for years until someone external has pointed it out to them and made it a "big focus" is ridiculous and patronising. It speaks to your own negative view of teaching staff and schools. I would suggest that you've spent too long in an advisory role with all of your focus being in the minority of classrooms where it's going wrong and that this may have coloured your view. The vast majority of teachers and the vast majority of schools do an excellent job of supporting and developing their students, including those who are academically behind and those with additional or specific needs.

And seeing as you seem so bothered about my educational experience: all my views are informed by a significant number of years as a class teacher, a senior leader, an SLE, a teacher educator, an 'instructional coach expert teacher' and by the work that I have done with teachers/schools on behalf of two different local authorities.

We will have to agree to disagree then. I do a lot of send training in schools both secondary and primary, and still find a good number who don't recognise that a child's needs are their responsibility. A parent can always, when told their child isn't achieving certain things, ask what is being put in place to support the child in these areas. And I would always encourage a parent to ask what they can do to support. Most parents will at least give it a go, ime, even if it's not sustained.

DDs first teacher, back in the 70's, never had a good word to say about any child. She freely admitted she didn't actually like kids...😗

Luckily, she left teaching shortly afterwards. Not all teachers are brilliant.

You know your child - base things on that.