Sending 'sexy' meme to a group chat - AIBU?

[JustAChangeNow]

This is not a big issue, I'm just wondering if I'm wrong. There is a planning group for a friend's 40th birthday present. Someone (male) suggested we buy her a night with Tom Hardy. I responded with a Gif thingy of him (topless) saying she might well like that!
My husband said that made him feel uncomfortable and disrespected. I apologised, I didn't mean to. He's accepted that.
BUT - was I out of line? Would you think that is offensive, or total non event? I was suprised, it never even occured to me that it could be offensive. WIBU?

😂

Anyway, personally, as long as the celeb was age appropriate to the birthday person i wouldn't be super offended by someone saying "a night with X", and someone posting an an attractive photo of them and saying "this might be as close as we get to that".

Personally, in the exact same context I wouldn't care. For example, when booking a holiday the same woman (bikini) and man (trunks) were featured in most of the pictures. My dp pipes up asking if they were part of the all inclusive. I laughed, not spiral that he thought she was more attractive than me (and she absolutely was, being a model and all)

As long as it wasn't a really sexual photo, I suppose.

A shirtless photo of TH is not a really sexual photo.

A tasteful bikini photo of ER would not he either.

Though is ER not considerably below 40? While TD is over it (?)

It all seems relatively harmless and tame, intended to be humorous .... and ops h sounds a bit OTT.

@Hamburger233 Some over 40 year old celebs I would buy for my male friend for his birthday... Yum yum

Have you seriously changed your username to chest buttocks as a result of this thread.

Pmsl

Tbf I would buy myself Danise Richards

Meh, they're not obscene; they're fine.

Besides "buy" - how you use it - suggests prostitution.

I think the context of the group convo was more of a "night with" like the sort they raffle for charity.

Which tbh would be a fkg nightmare - because Tom Hardy seems quite volatile.

I have no idea why anyone finds him attractive, he scares me. And his lips are like a sucker fish's.

Love it! The mental gymnastics would make some people excellent in bed with my old male friend! How much per night for your body? He will love your delightful flexibility.

There's no mental gymnastics. I know that's your favourite term and you're trying to use it as many times as possible on a thread.

But it wouldn't bother me if either a group of men or a group of woman - or a mixed group, as in this case, joked around in this way. As long as the images weren't obscene, the age of the celeb not inappropriate, and the tone not derogatory.

The male friend is clearly imaginary.... Because these are female body preferences.

Have you ever seen the ideal body/looks diagrams made by men and women respectively?

Yours looks like the women's "collage" which was considerably skinnier than the men's.

At first I thought nothing of this but then thought of the roles reversed... my husband sending a 'sexy' pic of a celeb to a group chat - not sure it demands a grovelling apology, but I would find it a bit eww.

Really wouldn't like it if my husband did that on a group chat but with a gif of a woman

In the context given, the man made the joke about Tom Hardy and you supplied a photo to add to the banter.

If your husband is offended by that then he is a wet wipe.

Well, I am chosing to take away from this thread that I am not unreasonable, and I'm going to ignore the suggestions that my husband is lame, pathetic, OTT, a wet wipe, a limp lettuce, verging on controlling and abusive, doesn't trust me and thinks I'm going to shag his mates!

It's useful to get other opinions about what is classed as inappropriate or crass. I agree with posters who say that men are, to an extent, expected not to care about male objectification. My DH has not read the toxic masculinity handbook, and if there is an opportunity to express his feelings he will! I'm okay with that, it makes him a good 'un in my experience.

Anyway it has been an interesting discussion, thanks all!