To ask what should happen now? DD attacked by other students

[RainInNovember]

DD is 15, shes had a few issues with people, got into a few arguments, nothing major and mainly over whatsapp etc, she does seem to get involved in the drama. But a lot of her friends are similar and there are often fallings out but then friends again the next week.

I just had a message from dd at school. she said two girls who she used to be friends with have waited outside her lesson for her and followed her. once she was on her own they put a coat over her head and started punching her in the head and pulling her hair and dragging her about.

she has told school and she said the girls are currently in isolation, I have called school who said they're investigating now and will call me back shortly.

I have never dealt with anything like this before. I just want to know what to expect and how seriously they should take it.

Something similar happened to my neighbour's child. I think the perpetrators were suspended initially and then they moved to different schools - I don't know if they were expelled or whether they were managed moves etc. Also don't know if it was their first offence. They didn't come back into the school though.

I am so sorry that this happened to your dd. I hope she is OK.

How did your mum deal with it? What did she say to them?

Oh well she should have not assaulted someone then. Please don't back down because of this nonsense about the girls future. Let her learn about the law the heard way. Hugs to you and your dd

Please check what the policy is before cc-ing the governors. Governors are there to provide oversight and accountability, they usually don't get involved in the day-to-day management of the school.

There is an escalation procedure- find out what what your school policy docs say and take the right steps.

If I was in Tesco and some 'friends ' attacked me in the same way as those girls attacked your daughter, the police would be called pretty jolly quickly.
I hope that your daughter recovers quickly and makes a new set of close friends, that her attackers are expelled to different schools and that the school makes sure that all pupils are taught about bullying and warned of the consequences.

😲 Absolutely shocked the school suggested you not contact the police as it could impact on the girls aspirations to study law. So they are putting the well-being and wants of the attacker above those of your daughter, the victim. I would have 100% reported to police before this, but this would make me absolutely sure to report. Bloody liberty! As someone else mentioned, I wonder if her parents have friends working at the school. If she has genuine aspiration to work in law then a warning from the police might be enough to shock her into not pulling a stunt like that again. I hope your daughter is ok 💐

You’ve given the school their opportunity and they’re minimising / excusing one girl because she wants to study law????? You are right to report to police on 101, letting them off with a one day suspension and isolation isn’t drilling home the seriousness of what they did.
Hope your dd is ok.

I'd still call the police, tough shit if it impacts her career.
At 15 she knows right from wrong, she chose to physically assault your DD, now she can take the consequences.
So can the other little mare.
Hope your DD is ok

Great. She will have some first hand experience of the criminal justice system to talk about at interview then.

Don't allow the school to deter you from reporting the assault to the police. The perpetrator's future career aspirations are not at all relevant here.

@Myfabby if governors are there to provide oversight and accountability they need to k ow that pupils are being beaten up on school premises and the ht is not taking it seriously.

Call 101 and report it.

Correct. I'm a former secondary HT and current chair of governors. It is not appropriate for the matter to be referred to the governing board at this point as they have no role in dealing with it.

I agree with those encouraging the OP to call the police - although my experience as a head was that when I called the police about such incidents (because heads' powers are very limited indeed), their response was sometimes "We'll let the school deal with it", which exasperated me.

Absolutely ok to still report!

The OP can write to the chair of governors to complain that she doesn't feel it was dealt with appropriately but there will be no direct involvement in dealing with the incident itself. Her immediate action should be to contact the police.

Study law means understanding it. If you are stupid enough to punch someone with this degree of planning then may I suggest another subject.

Report it to the police.

Being bullied and attacked, can also impact your future career prospects. The school should be more concerned about the victim’s future prospects, than the attackers.

Incidents would typically be reported to the Governors in the form of anonymised data on a regular basis, so they would know if this kind of thing was a regular occurrence. They would also know if complaints to the school were regularly getting escalated to governors because parents were unhappy with the head's approach.

What they wouldn't do is undermine the school/head by getting involved in individual incidents until the school's internal procedures had been exhausted...unless they have a really crap understanding of the governance role and what it entails.

OP I was bullied at school and had numerous excuses given for why the bullies behaved in the way they did. Just because she wants to study law, doesn't mean this shouldn't be reported to the police. If anything, if you don't report it now, it just sends out all the signals that she can behave how she likes and will get away with it. Actions have consequences - this will impact your DD for a long time in the future, and it should bloody well impact the bully's future too.

1 day suspension?!?!

That's not a punishment for a serious assault as you described.

I know the girls are saying it isn't that serious, but what about those who witnessed it? What did they say?

In hindsight as an adult it is actually quite amusing because all she said to them was she knew their parents (she didn’t) and if she ever found out that they had even looked at me again she would be straight round to their door and would be getting the police involved

They must have been more scared of their own parents and/or police as it seemed to do the trick

Not aggressive, not shouting just in a very firm “mum” voice that obviously scared a couple of 12 year olds who thought they were all that

I did see them on the way home from school a few weeks later (they went to a different school) and I could feel my heart going but they just gave me a look and then carried on with their chat

thank you ive emailed school and complained about the pastoral care ladys comments

My son was assaulted out of school when he was 12. I reported to both the school and the police and both were brilliant. School helped identify the perpetrators (who were older), interviewed them and put them in isolation (for a day or two). Parents were informed. The police asked what outcome I wanted and I said that a bollocking from the police might stop them doing it to someone else. The police spoke to school and parents. The little shits wrote letters of apology and had to do a day thing where they were talked to by ex offenders. There were no charges brought. They didn’t bother him again.

Phone 101. If I were assaulted I would call the police so didn’t see why it should be any different for my son (who had been tripped and punched in the face).

I wonder why they chose not to give the two perpetrators the same punishment?

Curiously just wondering if the girl who got the lenient 1 day in isolation is also the same one supposedly interested in studying law…?

I can’t help thinking that there’s some parental influence at play here? Maybe the Head is very friendly with one of the parents?

I’m glad you’re not accepting the school’s request to drop it.

The assailant wants to study law?

Too bad. That would be her problem.

I am speaking from my experience. I esclated an incident of racist bullying and the clerk to the board of governors sent me a rather curt letter pointing out the procedure for raising a complaint and various sections of my parent/pupil contract with school. To be fair, it was already being dealt with it, but I was frustrated by the pace/lack of updates.

It made sense to me when I had calmed down that that was indeed the way to go. Matter was resolved and no, it didn't have to get to the governors at all