Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to not want dog in my house?

78 replies

Holly1212 · 05/11/2023 20:33

AIBU to not want dog in my house?

Me and my partner live together with our DS.
When my partner invited his dad over for dinner etc he brings the dog with him. We do not have any pets and I do not want the dog in the house. We have light cream sofa and carpets and I do not want the dog in the house as his dad allows him to run all through the house.

It has got to the point where I do not want him to invite his dad over as I know the arguments that will be had by the dog coming over. I will admit I might have OCD but there is dog jumps up everything. I also do not like that his dad feels the dog at our house from our plates and forks. Things like that turn my stomach.

I have tried to be out my case across why I do not want the dog in the house but I am made to feel like this is normal that you must bring a dog to someone else’s house. I have tried to be reasonable and say he can come but put in kitchen or dining room as this has wooden flooring. There are all the promises but after 10 minister he is jumping on everything in every room. One of my main annoyances is that the dog tried to eat or play with my little ones toys so when he comes I have to put most of his toys away.

I am already feeding Christmas as I know the arguments which will come.

Am I being unreasonable here?

OP posts:
Original poster
Holly1212 · 05/11/2023 20:54

As stated in my original post
’I have tried to be reasonable and say he can come but put in kitchen or dining room as this has wooden flooring. There are all the promises but after 10 minister he is jumping on everything in every room. One of my main annoyances is that the dog tried to eat or play with my little ones toys so when he comes I have to put most of his toys away.’

i have offered middle ground options.

OP posts:
kitsuneghost · 05/11/2023 20:56

The smell alone. I would say no.

ganglion · 05/11/2023 20:58

No, I like dogs but I wouldn't have one in my house. I don't like the smell of them and they have typically been walking through fields of dog poo. I don't want that in my house.

Ohhelpicantthinkofaname · 05/11/2023 21:00

I love dogs, but it’s your house and your rules and you don’t have to have a dog there if you don’t want.

sounds like you’ve tried to be reasonable and say only in the kitchen/dining room etc and this hasn’t been respected. You’re well within your rights to refuse to have the dog there.

TheSmallAssassin · 05/11/2023 21:01

We kept hold of our travel stair gate and use it if we have dogs visit (not often, only when people are away from their own home usually). Might be an option for you, as a compromise, to keep the dog contained when it visits?

Daphnis156 · 05/11/2023 21:02

Is this really all just about a dog?
Or is it the father?

Original poster
Holly1212 · 05/11/2023 21:02

Thank you. We do have 2 baby gates in use currently. When I have offered the kitchen or dining room this is because I’m both are hard flooring but also the baby gates would stop the dog getting into other rooms. I thought this was being reasonable.

OP posts:
Original poster
Holly1212 · 05/11/2023 21:04

As stated in the post it is the dog. I have said his dad is welcome anytime for dinner or visits. I just don’t want the dog here.

please don’t try to make an innocent post about something more than stated.

OP posts:
RandomUsernameHere · 05/11/2023 21:04

YANBU. MiL's dog is not allowed in our house. It's not allowed in SiL's house either. Just say no dogs allowed in your house, not his specifically, just no dogs full stop.

Anneta · 05/11/2023 21:05

I have family members and a good friend with dogs. The dogs are always welcome in my home with their owners but I love dogs. As this is your partner’s father’s dog, I think that you are being unreasonable to expect him not to be able to welcome his own dad to his home at Christmas and other times, especially if your partner is fond of the dog too. If the issue is cleaning, ask your partner to help clean the room after they have left.

Frequency · 05/11/2023 21:05

When you say jumping all over - what does that mean? Is the dog bouncing from sofa to sofa and hopping onto the coffee table or just trying to sit on the sofa like it does at home? Dogs don't understand that different houses have different rules. If it's allowed on the sofa at home and allowed to chew toys on the floor at home it's not going to magically understand that it cannot do it at your house.

If it is the former suggest a local training class. If it's the latter try a throw on the sofa or suggest it is kept on a leash or in a playpen.

Wolfiefan · 05/11/2023 21:07

It’s not normal to assume an invitation means you AND your dog. How weird. You leave a dog or get someone to look after it. Not take it.
And I have dogs.

Original poster
Holly1212 · 05/11/2023 21:08

Jumps all over the sofa, tries to climb up dining table etc.

I do understand it is not the dogs fault at all. He would not understand.

I have offered alternative rooms to stay in.

just due to the dog being wild and trying to eat and play with our sons toys I do not want him in the house.

OP posts:
Dunnoburt · 05/11/2023 21:08

Yanbu..... eating off your utensils 🤮

Frequency · 05/11/2023 21:09

If it's used to being with its person all the time a different room won't work unless you all sit in there. The dog will bark and scratch your doors.

A playpen or a leash would work better. What breed is it?

Potentialmadcatlady · 05/11/2023 21:10

I have dogs. When my Dad comes to visit he rings first to check if it is ok for him to bring his. It’s decent manners…
Your house, your rules..

Original poster
Holly1212 · 05/11/2023 21:11

We use a baby gate so the door is not shut. The dog can still see everyone just not on the carpeted, sofas or by sons toys.

Springer spaniel.

OP posts:
Canisaysomething · 05/11/2023 21:11

We don’t have a no dog policy but we do have a “no bare arsehole” policy. It basically means humans or animals who visit need to wear pants.

edwinbear · 05/11/2023 21:12

YANBU. I don’t have a dog, I don’t like them, and don’t allow them in my house.

Throughabushbackwards · 05/11/2023 21:13

I sympathise with you OP. We have a small dog of our own that is non-shedding and groomed regularly, so he's about as clean as a dog can be. PIL, on the other hand, have an enormous hairy dog that they take with them everywhere they go. They don't ever bath it (something about oils in its coat 🤷‍♀️) so it absolutely reeks and it leaves long hairs everywhere it goes. We ask them to bring its bed and we make it stay put on the bed or in the garden, but we do get a bit of eye rolling etc. from PIL when we remind them this is how it is at ours. I find it so rude, but I really don't think they have any idea of how revolting the smell and the hair is because they live with it always.

Frequency · 05/11/2023 21:13

Holly1212 · 05/11/2023 21:11

We use a baby gate so the door is not shut. The dog can still see everyone just not on the carpeted, sofas or by sons toys.

Springer spaniel.

In that case, that sounds like a fair compromise. Try the broken record method. As soon as they let the dog out of the agreed room, put it back. Repeat ad-finitium until DP and his dad get the picture.

didistutter56 · 05/11/2023 21:15

I have two dogs and YANBU! Jumpy, untrained dogs boil my piss and eating off plates is just rank.

Mischance · 05/11/2023 21:17

What is it with these dog owners? I remember my SIL coming to visit from a fair distance. OH and I said very clearly that they could not bring their dog to our home .... for lots of reasons: neither of us keen on dogs and OH disabled and very easily knocked over which could have serious consequences.
Guess what? .... they rolled up with the dog! I could not believe it. I said they could not bring it in and they got really stroppy and huffy. They said we were cruel because it was not good for dog to be in the car .... and I had a lot of sympathy with the dog .... but not my fault. They should not have brought it when specifically asked not to.
I was furious.

Original poster
Holly1212 · 05/11/2023 21:18

This is the same as I get. I am being unreasonable as it’s not fair the dog stays in the car! I agree don’t leave him in the car but don’t bring in into our house when reasonable rules in place as not followed.

OP posts:
Livelovebehappy · 05/11/2023 21:28

It’s your dp who you need to convince. Then you can both stand together and say your rules are no dogs. But I’m afraid unless you and your dh get on the same page, it’s not going to be resolved is it? You can’t blame your dcs father if his son tells him it’s ok….

Swipe left for the next trending thread