EVERYONE is a drug dealer

[CommonOrNot]

Bear with me…

I have name changed for this for seemingly obvious reasons. Yesterday, I was at the hairdressers getting my usual weekly services chatting as usual to my hairdresser - who every single week I’m there is dating a new drug dealer. She is very much a “glam” type. Neither of these things are uncommon in my city.

She then turns to the woman next to me and starts chatting about said woman’s partner and when he’s going to be on day release from prison and how he’s getting XYZ done cosmetically but it’s ok because the prison thinks he has a business so the money won’t be from dealing. (In other words, he’s still very much running an enterprise from behind bars). Again not uncommon in my area.

it got me thinking, in my city almost everyone has some sort of connection to dealing drugs. at all levels. I’m not exaggerating, I can’t think of a single person that doesn’t either deal themselves or is close friends with someone who does. All the women are dressed head to toe in designer, surgery, etc. the males have big cars, watches, designer clothes. It’s quite rare to see anyone under 30 without this aesthetic.

the 35+ generation maybe not so much but I would say all people I know in this age bracket absolutely have ties to someone who is a dealer.

before anyone comments that people may have the money for this aesthetic through legitimate reasons, I myself have a “flash” car, designer clothes, cosmetic procedures etc. but through running businesses and my partner being a well payed professional. I’m talking specifically about people that I know are dealers, and when I was thinking about it last night I was actually baffled how there seems to be so many.

PS I know there are people that work to have what they have, I’m talking about my city specifically being particularly dense with criminal activity and I’m wondering if it’s a regional thing or not. Where you are, is this the case?

I live in Edinburgh and neither me nor anyone I know well is connected to a drug dealer - but drugs are still a huge problem in Scotland, so many people must be!

I am surprised it’s discussed so openly where you are but maybe I’m being naive there. I am 35+ so I might have aged out of it.

I’m personally in favour of legalising drug use to try and destroy the market for drug dealing because it destroys so many lives, but I’ve never taken drugs and never would myself. It’s possible they’re all around me and I’m just not seeing it because it’s not my scene.

Even when I was actually taking drugs, not everyone I knew was a dealer.

Don't be daft.

I live in Liverpool and feel like we may be from the same place 😂

I know lots actually. But none are as you describe no flashy cars or surgeries.

I too thought Liverpool and I've never even been there. How sad.

I can almost guarantee you live in Liverpool. If so then yes, you are right. Other cities, no where near as much.

I used to know weed and coke dealers. My DB was dealing trips at 15 ffs!

But now, no one. The one man I know does do drugs lives not near me and our group of friends don’t meet up much.

I’d actually be quite disgusted if someone I knew dealt drugs, knowing what I know now about them.

There is a specific demographic and areas in Liverpool where this is the case. But that doesn't mean everyone in Liverpool is a dealer. It depends on your circle.

I think you need a new hairdressers, and/or new city.

Birds of a feather, OP. Are any members of your family involved in drugs? If you have just one good friend who is in the world of dealing, then unsurprisingly you will hear about their family members and acquaintances who are also into drugs. Obviously you move in social circles where talking openly about drugs is acceptable.

I assure you there will be social circles where it is absolutely socially unacceptable, and these people (naturally) don’t mix with dealers.

Start meeting some brand new people. Start volunteering for a charity, you find nice people there.

My first thought was Liverpool, glad it wasn’t just me.

I think this is one of those things where normality is whatever you know, and normal for others is what they know.
Once something is on your radar it’s easy to just see it as a norm, it’s not a fabrication on your behalf it’s just a tunnel vision situation. Just like for people who aren’t exposed to the drug economy, they don’t recognise it in their social settings.

Im assuming you’re either in Liverpool or Manchester. It’s a very active and specific culture that does exist in a higher concentration in those cities.

If I do know any drug dealers, I am either very unperceptive, or they have a good cover story

I too thought 'I bet she lives in Liverpool'.

I love Liverpool, it's a great city, but there is a demographic in certain areas.

I’m guessing Liverpool from your general description?

If so of course dealers are around, but it is a reflection of the company you keep if you think everyone is one or knows one. That’s ludicrous (and statistically impossible).

Move out of Liverpool OP. Come to the Real World.

I’m not far from Liverpool but do go there often - glad you can agree! It seems most of mumsnet have never encountered such a thing 🫠

I’ve lived in central London and in Bristol, neither of which are strangers to drugs, and somehow in my 50+ years I’ve never knowingly encountered the sort of people you describe, and nobody I know has been a dealer. One person I know says he knows one, though.

I think you need need to reconsider where and with whom you spend your time.

Probably the company you keep, and you're not in as nice an area as you think, by the sounds of it.

Unless you count the higher than average number of doctors, dentists and pharmacists I know.

Note this is simply because the part of this city I live in is very popular with people who move here to work in the NHS. It’s very handy for the local hospitals. So I tend to bump into absolutely tonnes of HCPs. Often HCPs who are married to other HCPs or professionals in aligned areas.

I also find that I bump into the same people everywhere I go. We all live pretty boring lives and do similar things. I sign DS up for a swimming class and there are two kids from his nursery in it too, for example. It’s only indicative of how predictable my choices are really.

There are thousand of people in this city - but the patterns of their lives mean I’m not coming across them very often. Or at all.

There are drug dealers and such like. Inevitably. Disproportionately, their social circles probably overlap with each other. And it feels to them like it’s totally normal
to be a drug dealer/have relationships with them.

If you don’t like your social circle, shift your patterns and make different choices. As someone else said, join the rotary club. Or volunteer to be a school governor. Or become a scouts leader. Become a sighted guider for a hill walking group. Or something. You’ll find that you meet different people to the people you currently do.

Wow that is such a weird thought! I don’t know anyone knowingly.

Growing up in South London, I definitely knew a few small time dealers. If you wanted weed, certain friends' big brothers would sort you out. Everyone knew who to ask. I moved away at 18.

Since then, living and working in London, Birmingham and big cities in Europe I haven't come across any dealers.

You realise that they think you're 'one of them' because you have the same aesthetic, as you describe it?

They are not the dealers. They are the ones who suffer the misery caused by the dealers