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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Throwing up in public

76 replies

highlandelk · 03/11/2023 07:45

I was unwell on holiday recently, food poisoning.

I was in a tourist attraction and suddenly felt very sick. It came on very quickly/ unexpectedly, and there was no time to get to a loo. I simply had to turn to face the nearest wall/ corner and just throw up. It was horrible and embarrassing, as there was a queue of people nearby waiting to get into something.

The people just watched me, some looked awkward, some looked disgusted. No one offered a kind word or asked if I was OK, they just stared. I found myself apologising to them and then I just went outside feeling awful and trying to clean myself up.

AIBU to think someone could have asked if I was OK? I was on my own.

OP posts:
Radiatorvalves · 03/11/2023 08:12

Horrible situation OP. Earlier this year I had similar - I overheated on a bike ride and collapsed and threw up on pavement. 3 policemen checked up on me (kindly although ineffectively). No one else intervened. Fortunately I managed to call DH and stagger to a cafe for several pints of water.

sollenwir · 03/11/2023 08:13

I'm sorry OP. I would have checked you were ok, got you a drink of water, helped you sit down etc.

Almondmum · 03/11/2023 08:15

Poor you.

I wouldn't necessarily offer to help someone being sick unless they looked about to pass out though? I'd assume they'd feel exactly like you did - a bit awkward and embarrassed and leave you to it.

I threw up on the school run once, just about made it back to the car and threw up in the gutter. The last thing I'd have wanted is anyone drawing attention to it.

gotomomo · 03/11/2023 08:18

Depends on time of day to be honest, after about 4pm in a holiday resort I would give a wide berth as they might just be drunk. In fact I have had drunks throwing up and worse outside my work in the morning!

snoreb · 03/11/2023 08:18

Genuine question. Would people really offer help to a vomiting person in the street? What could people even do to help you? What if you vommed again on them? No I wouldn't help. Sorry. I can do many things but vomit is not one of them.

I can and have done cpr and attended a car accident when I witnessed it. (I'm a dr) but random vomit in the street? Nope. I don't want what they have and usually it's just a case of eating to stop puking.

Wheredidyougonow · 03/11/2023 08:20

Sorry no, going near vomit would be the last thing I do.

Summermeadowflowers · 03/11/2023 08:20

People do just assume you’re drunk, unfortunately. I’ve had this when pregnant with DS - thankfully spared with DD mostly.

TomeTome · 03/11/2023 08:24

I had horrendous morning sickness and used to throw up on the school run every day for months. I think I’d feel sorry for you but I’m not sure I’d have done anything. I’d have hated having to deal with “are you ok’s?” Rather than get on with my day.

MammaPee · 03/11/2023 08:28

Loads of times. I had HG with both pregnancies do carried plastic bags with me at all times. There was also an occasion when my kids were where we were visiting family in the SW and I got food poisoning and had to be sick in the Wookey Hole. It is really embarrassing but sometimes you just can't help it!

Wwwnothingdotcom · 03/11/2023 08:31

I wouldn't go near tbh. It can be infectious and it could make me throw up. I would just make quick exit if possible

StuffLoriThangs · 03/11/2023 08:31

its part of the bystander effect, no one really wanting to get involved. They woken also be (selfishly) worried they would catch something from you. I’m sorry this happened and hope you feel better but it’s hard for strangers to intervene sometimes.

Monkeymonkeymoo · 03/11/2023 08:36

I would (and have) stopped to help someone who was sick. I asked if he was ok and offered him the pack of wetwipes and gum that I had in my bag, we were near a shop so I asked if he wanted me to get him a bottle of water. It took about 2 seconds and he said he was ok. I’m a nurse though so I might be less phased by vomit than the average person!

AlmostAJillSandwich · 03/11/2023 08:37

Did you clean it up afterwards? I'd be sympathetic, but wouldn't want to catch a bug, and vomit looks and smells awful and could make me throw up also so wouldn't want to get close. I'd also be wary of if you were sick due to being drunk and might get nasty. Not surprised by passers by being disgusted, especially if you just walked away from your mess to "go outside" (not sure if that means you were indoors somewhere, in which case leaving it is even more disgusting) as you say!

DrinkingMyWaterMindingMyBiz · 03/11/2023 08:39

I’m sorry but if I went near you at that time there is a very high possibility that we’d both end up throwing up. It sounds ridiculous but I even end up throwing up when looking after my own unwell DCs.

Hope you’re feeling better!

Summermeadowflowers · 03/11/2023 08:50

Not sure how one can clean vomit up in public. All you can do is put water on it if on a hard surface.

sollenwir · 03/11/2023 08:55

Summermeadowflowers · 03/11/2023 08:50

Not sure how one can clean vomit up in public. All you can do is put water on it if on a hard surface.

I'd be inclined to tell whoever ran the attraction, if I saw someone throw up or had myself and felt able to walk to wherever I needed to go to do the informing, as they will have the stuff to throw on it/ways to clean it up.

AngelAurora · 03/11/2023 08:57

You only vomited Op hardly dying are you?

AngelinaFibres · 03/11/2023 08:58

I threw up a lot with hyperemesis. I used to carry nappy bags in every pocket of every coat. I wouldn't have wanted anyone to acknowledge that they had noticed me,in a corner or beside my car , trying to just get it over with. I wouldn't approach anyone who was vomiting. What can I usefully do. Its just vomit.

CrispsandCheeseSandwich · 03/11/2023 08:59

I wouldn't offer to help someone vomiting unless they looked like they might pass out, or they were vomiting blood etc. There's not much you can do, and vomiting is not normally a sign of any serious issue, it's just very unpleasant.
Plus I wouldn't want to catch someone's norovirus.

Devilsmommy · 03/11/2023 09:00

When I was pregnant but not noticeabley so, I had awful whole day sickness and puked in corners of buildings more than once, like your case people just gave me dirty looks and nobody asked if I was ok. I think people assume you're drunk or something similar so won't have any sympathy for you because they won't even ask what's wrong.

SinisterBumFacedCat · 03/11/2023 09:03

Tbh reading this thread is making me feel queasy so no I wouldn’t have offered you any help as I would have been useless. I also wouldn’t really expect complete strangers to help if it was me, because when I have felt that ill in the past I don’t even want my own family around me.

NotHooray · 03/11/2023 09:03

I had a stomach bug while my husband was working away so had my youngest accompanying me on my client visits (dog walker/pet sitter) and whilst walking to one house I suddenly needed to throw up so crouched down and did it in a bush as discretely as possible. Unfortunately the post lady was walking by at that time and she stopped and asked if I was ok whic was very kind of her but also utterly mortifying! Especially as I see her very often whilst she's doing the neighbourhood rounds Blush

Original poster
highlandelk · 03/11/2023 09:05

Hmm interesting mix of opinions, thanks all.

I'm surprised people think I should have cleaned it up - I didn't even have stuff on me to clean myself up and was feeling very queasy and lightheaded, let alone being able to get down on the floor and start mopping.

I told the staff about it when I'd sorted myself out, obviously.

OP posts:
ColleenDonaghy · 03/11/2023 09:06

Almondmum · 03/11/2023 08:15

Poor you.

I wouldn't necessarily offer to help someone being sick unless they looked about to pass out though? I'd assume they'd feel exactly like you did - a bit awkward and embarrassed and leave you to it.

I threw up on the school run once, just about made it back to the car and threw up in the gutter. The last thing I'd have wanted is anyone drawing attention to it.

Yeah I'm not usually a puker but caught a bug when pregnant and threw up on the ground outside the train station on my way home. I really really didn't want any help, I was very embarrassed and just wanted to be left alone.

Very hard to know what a stranger will want.

TomeTome · 03/11/2023 09:06

It’s obvious what’s wrong, you’re throwing up. I don’t know what you would want from others in that moment? Fainting or bleeding is different but vomit is more like coughing. No support is really required surely?