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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Teacher continually getting DD’s name wrong

137 replies

Magicshoppingtrolley · 02/11/2023 19:24

DD mentioned when she started school last year that her English teacher was consistently getting her name wrong. I laughed it off saying she had lots of names to remember and I’m sure she would get there.

A year later and it’s continually happening. She teaches her 3 times a week so it’s not as though she rarely sees her, I’ve told DD to politely state what her name is each time she calls her by the wrong name. DD did so this week and was given a behaviour warning for being rude.

DD’s name is a standard name but not common so equivalent of the teacher calling her Jasmine when her name is Jennifer.

AIBU to say something to school or the teacher when we next have a parents evening?

OP posts:
BecauseTheWorld · 02/11/2023 19:26

Yes, flag it with school.

Precipice · 02/11/2023 19:27

YANBU, but I wouldn't wait until parents' evening. Write an email to your child's class teacher about your DD being constantly and consistently called by a different name to the teacher. Query the behaviour warning if that's an official thing, because while we can't know precisely what DD said, if she did only correct the teacher, she did nothing wrong and it was a long time coming.

EmmaDilemma5 · 02/11/2023 19:30

A behaviour warning?! That's mental. It's so rude calling someone the wrong name.

I wonder if the teacher has it noted down incorrectly, so still doesn't realise it's wrong, despite your daughter telling them. Perhaps they think she's winding them up.

I'd write in, that your daughter is starting to feel awkward about it and you'd like your daughter to be called by her actual name from now on.

PastTheGin · 02/11/2023 19:31

I am a teacher with a really bad memory for names. We do have to remember lots of names and sometimes the wrong name “sticks” in your brain. But I am always mortified when this happens and would never give out a consequence for a student reminding me of their name! That is not acceptable and I would raise it with the teacher or the head of year / head of department.

Haydenn · 02/11/2023 19:32

Don’t wait to parents evening.. just send a message to the form teacher saying that they were upset that they were told that they are being rude when correcting a teacher when they persist in getting their name wrong

HowToSaveAWife · 02/11/2023 19:32

YABU to have laughed it off in the first place. Why would you want to teach DD that it's ok to be disrespected? It's her bloody name.

Flag it with the school asap, especially now she's received a behaviour warning which is, quite frankly, bonkers.

LoneFemaleTraveller · 02/11/2023 19:34

3 times a week out of 25 lessons actually is not a lot. 1 child out of 300 children she might teach.

and now she has got it wrong a few times, it is much more difficult to get it right.

mention it, then learn 300 new names yourself in two months.

connu · 02/11/2023 19:35

I think you need to give the school a behaviour warning!!!

Lovingitallnow · 02/11/2023 19:36

@LoneFemaleTraveller the student got in trouble for correcting the teacher- what would you recommend? She just start going by the new name?

IncompleteSenten · 02/11/2023 19:37

I wouldn't wait until parents evening. You need to tell the teacher that your daughter is not being rude because she wants you to call her by her actual name.

StripeyDeckchair · 02/11/2023 19:38

Get in touch ASAP
No child should be punished for pointing out that the teacher is calling them by the wrong name - what happens if she's still teaching her in a few year time & uses the incorrect name on her exam entries?

If teacher Ms M was called Ms N all the time she'd complain

2chocolateoranges · 02/11/2023 19:38

I’d phone and ask the head of year to phone you back so you can discuss it.

Meeting · 02/11/2023 19:38

I'd definitely challenge the behaviour warning.

If she genuinely struggles with names then being corrected shouldn't be a problem, provided it's done politely.

DottieMoon · 02/11/2023 19:45

I would definitely contact the school and complain about the behaviour warning, that’s awful

NoSquirrels · 02/11/2023 19:47

Don’t wait until parents evening. Right now is the appropriate time to respond - your DC got a sanction for reminding a teacher of her own name! Email her tutor/year group head ASAP.

Mummyoflittledragon · 02/11/2023 19:58

I would email the English teacher and inform them your dd’s name is x not y and ask for her to remove the behaviour point.

Notellinganyone · 02/11/2023 20:02

I’m a teacher and that’s not ok. Names matter and that’s part of our job. The behaviour point thing is bonkers.

PictureOfFlorianTray · 02/11/2023 20:03

Utterly unacceptable.
You need to email.

echt · 02/11/2023 20:08

Absolutely not OK. Flag it up now. Possibly it's wrong on the register. But the behaviour mark thread is entirely out of order.
I'm a retired teacher and always always went through the register to get names, preferred forms and pronunciation right. I also asked students to politely correct me if I slipped up. It's basic respect.

echt · 02/11/2023 20:08

Threat, not thread.

HardcoreLadyType · 02/11/2023 20:10

Don’t email her form tutor; email the actual teacher. Tell her she is calling your DD by the wrong name, and state that it was not rude of your DD to correct her. Request that she removes the behaviour mark.

Ask her to ensure she calls her by the correct name in future.

If it continues, then contact the form tutor. (And HOY, etc, if it needs to go further.)

CowboyJoanna · 02/11/2023 20:10

Is it one of those names thats spelt one thing but pronounced the other?

My eldest DD says there's this Asian girl in her English class called Maryam, but she insists on everyone pronouncing it "Miriam" even though the name is actually pronounced "marry em"

Magicshoppingtrolley · 02/11/2023 20:14

Thanks everyone. I tend to be a parent that doesn’t like to cause a fuss, but have explained to DD that it’s about respect. She has to respect her teacher but it goes both ways.

OP posts:
CowboyJoanna · 02/11/2023 20:15

Maybe DD was unneccessarily rude in her correction, but children/teens often dont think they are?

Magicshoppingtrolley · 02/11/2023 20:16

@CowboyJoanna Not at all. It’s a standard English name and the name she is called begins with the same letter but beyond that totally different.

OP posts: