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AIBU?

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Original poster

Teacher continually getting DD’s name wrong

137 replies

Magicshoppingtrolley · 02/11/2023 19:24

DD mentioned when she started school last year that her English teacher was consistently getting her name wrong. I laughed it off saying she had lots of names to remember and I’m sure she would get there.

A year later and it’s continually happening. She teaches her 3 times a week so it’s not as though she rarely sees her, I’ve told DD to politely state what her name is each time she calls her by the wrong name. DD did so this week and was given a behaviour warning for being rude.

DD’s name is a standard name but not common so equivalent of the teacher calling her Jasmine when her name is Jennifer.

AIBU to say something to school or the teacher when we next have a parents evening?

OP posts:
unlikelychump · 05/11/2023 05:55

CowboyJoanna · 02/11/2023 20:10

Is it one of those names thats spelt one thing but pronounced the other?

My eldest DD says there's this Asian girl in her English class called Maryam, but she insists on everyone pronouncing it "Miriam" even though the name is actually pronounced "marry em"

If it is her name she can "insist" on people saying it how she likes can't she? Is her being Asian a factor here?

PoodleJ · 05/11/2023 06:10

It’s a tough one. The thing I’d say is that once you’ve ‘remembered’ someone’s name incorrectly it’s a nightmare to remember it correctly.
I usually teach 300-400 students and so lots of names to learn each year. It is not easy. If you teach the same class in different rooms it takes even longer. You will possibly find that your daughter was rude when correcting the teacher. I get that she’s offended by it but she must not be rude when correcting it.
I would email in and ask if she could make an extra effort to get it right. It is key to know students names because they don’t think you care if they don’t know their names. In reality I could probably tell you lots about students without knowing their names. I would look at photos/seating plans and test data before putting in scores at the start of the year.
The fact that she consistently called her the incorrect name says it’s just stored in the teacher’s brain incorrectly. When I have this issue I usually focus on getting the student’s name correct for a week or so by asking them more questions.
Unless you’ve had to learn so many names under the same circumstances please don’t say it’s not difficult to do.

Original poster
Magicshoppingtrolley · 05/11/2023 08:01

@ApolloandDaphne not those names 😀

OP posts:
towriteyoumustlive · 05/11/2023 08:05

Magicshoppingtrolley · 04/11/2023 07:22

She isn’t mis-pronouncing it. She is calling her a completely different name. Along the lines of Jennifer instead of Jasmine. Or Grace instead of Gillian.

Do they have planners?

Just write her name in big letters on a planner page (or cardboard) and display it in front of her.

If she got a behaviour point for correcting the teacher then she should speak to her form tutor and ask her to speak to the English teacher.

LittleMG · 05/11/2023 08:13

Can’t say if this is the case but as a bit of insight…. When I was a teacher, when I had a new class I worked really hard on names and as a secondary teacher. Could name all kids by the end of lesson one. (Would have to revisit and revise as I didn’t always get it right) however if I did get a child’s name wrong if they made a fuss and got annoyed with me in future I would always get their name wrong! Like I was doing it on purpose but I wasn’t I’d just panic and get confused. The more annoyed they got the more I stressed about it and messed up!!

Cupcakekiller · 05/11/2023 18:56

That's ridiculous- the adult she comes into contact with the most after her parents/family members called her the wrong name? It's rude and disrespectful to her. My DD's name is easily confused with others, is uncommon but is a proper name. Her teachers have always got it right.

surreygirl1987 · 05/11/2023 23:25

*Completely unrealistic to remember that many names when some classes you only see for an hour once a week or fortnight.
You can still know exactly what someone is achieving and how they are progressing based on recognising them, but you might not instantly remember their name.

One year I taught 370 children, some I saw once a fortnight. Do you really expect a teacher with that number of children to know the names of absolutely every one by early November without making the occasional mix up?
Why do you think secondary school teachers print out class lists with the kids faces on? Because it is so difficult, on top of all your other responsibilities, to learn the name of absolutely everyone within the first term.*

This, exactly.

surreygirl1987 · 05/11/2023 23:32

The reality is that as a teacher you have a responsibility to assess students. Not having a sweet clue who anyone is, not caring at all about students to the point of not learning names, not being able to assess anyone beyond copying names off a paper onto a register makes you a shitty teacher. There are many tricks and tools you can use to help you know who is in your room and to learn or call them by name. While no one can make you care about the students enough to see them as individuals with names, there are some responsibilities that come with the profession and if you teach younger kids, yes you should make an effort to learn their names. Teaching isn’t just about standing at the front giving information and then marking grades on a register.

You can't be serious 🤦‍♀️ You think because I have prosopagnosia I don't care about my students? So the 60+ hour weeks and all the effort I put in, sacrificing my own free time is just for my own benefit, right? And people wonder why teachers are leaving in their droves...

Thankfully, nobody in my school - including my pupils - seems to think I'm a 'shitty teacher' and this 'shitty teacher' has even taught teaching courses in universities. My school pays me almost £70k for my 'shitty' teaching so I guess the joke's on them?

PollyPut · 05/11/2023 23:38

write to her form tutor and explain that this teacher seems to have the wrong name for your daughter as they keep calling her someone else. Explain that you are concerned that the teacher might not be able to help your daughter as much as they could because they seem to be mixing her up with another pupil (Y) and your worried that it's affecting her education in that subject as you don't know who Y is or what level they are working at. Ask them to make sure the teacher knows who X is and whether there is anything that can be done to make sure they call her X in future.

Don't try to blame anyone, just try to get it sorted out efficiently.

Chances are that teacher is struggling to remember the name. Some schools have plans for each class with name and photo - does your school?

NepheliLoux · 05/11/2023 23:43

This reply has been deleted

This has been withdrawn due to privacy concerns.

This is what I did when I was at school and my English teacher consistently called me by the wrong name - even wrote the wrong name on my work!!! I got in trouble for ignoring her, apparently ‘I knew’ she meant me 🤣

Blondeshavemorefun · 06/11/2023 09:35

Be interesting if she ever gets any else's names wrong or only your daughter

And yes after a year I don't blame your dd is she eye rolled

Def email tutor and class and head teacher

Skyscrapers921 · 06/11/2023 09:55

Not OK

haveacat · 27/12/2023 15:20

In reply to a previous poster - I have taught two or three girls with the name Maryam. It has always been pronounced Miriam. 🤔

haveacat · 27/12/2023 15:30

For those saying that it is racist to call a ‘non-white’ child by a wrong name, maybe the teacher is non-white herself. Maybe English isn’t her first language 🤷‍♀️. Maybe that why she gets confused.

🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

jannier · 27/12/2023 15:43

curtaintwitchersannonymous · 02/11/2023 22:18

Not directed at me, but I will answer - because there are 30 children in the class, and at any one point, 15 of them have something they want to say, and it isn't a free for all. There is a time when teachers speak and a time when it is appropriate for children to speak. And no, I would not stop a lesson and correct a child who got my name wrong, it simply does not matter

Show quote history

If a teacher doesn't know a child's name how do they get reports right? I've actually been to a parents evening and had to point out the child the teacher was slagging off wasn't mine.

Yellowsubmarineunderthesea · 27/12/2023 15:49

We had something similar with my ds in school but he had never told us as he wasn't too bothered by it. When we went to parents' meeting, this teacher was giving us a report totally at odds with what any other teacher was saying about him, negative attitude etc. The teacher had him totally confused with another child of the different name so, while his academic results were very acceptable, the social report was terrible. After this parents night, teacher was actually nicer towards ds whereas previously he was merely tolerant.

StaunchMomma · 27/12/2023 16:00

I'd email the teacher directly and tell her you've instructed DD to correct her every time she is called by the wrong name and you will be speaking to the Head if this results in DD receiving further behaviour warnings.

Your DD shouldn't have to put up with that, nor get behavioural sanctions for being assertive. For what it's worth, I say that as an ex-teacher.

onlyoneoftheregimentinstep · 27/12/2023 16:19

curtaintwitchersannonymous · 03/11/2023 14:37

I think it s quite funny that so many posters actually think teachers know all your childrens names.

Well, speaking as a teacher myself, they bloody well should.

festivetinseling · 27/12/2023 16:28

LoneFemaleTraveller · 02/11/2023 19:34

3 times a week out of 25 lessons actually is not a lot. 1 child out of 300 children she might teach.

and now she has got it wrong a few times, it is much more difficult to get it right.

mention it, then learn 300 new names yourself in two months.

If you got a child's name wrong, would you give them a bollocking for correcting you?

rainuntilseptember · 27/12/2023 16:29

Hopefully in the new year someone will take away some of the workload of my colleagues who teach drama or RS to almost the entire school (once a week), so they can sit down and memorise 500 names.

Pinkyhere · 27/12/2023 16:31

A polite email is probably the best way to handle it but... would be so much more fun for you to call her Miss Jones instead of Miss Jenkins all through your next parents meeting and use her name deliberately and continually at beginning or end of each sentence. With an innocent smile at the end.

Ronaldoronalda · 27/12/2023 16:55

A few teachers here have suggested coming to see them at the end of class. At DD’s school pupils try and avoid this as then they get given a negative behaviour point when they are a tiny bit late to their next class.

riotlady · 27/12/2023 16:56

haveacat · 27/12/2023 15:20

In reply to a previous poster - I have taught two or three girls with the name Maryam. It has always been pronounced Miriam. 🤔

Edited

Wonder if this is an accent thing as I was friends with a Maryam at school and it was definitely Marry-am

Wellhellooooodear · 27/12/2023 16:59

Why would you wait until parents evening? I'd definitely speak to school about this as it is not rude to correct someone who constantly calls you by the wrong name. Teacher is the rude one and your DD should not be punished.

fortifiedwithtea · 27/12/2023 17:10

Email the teacher concerned and copy in the head. Its not acceptable to get a pupil’s name wrong and I don’t know why you took so long to try to correct the error.
when I was at secondary school the girl who sat next to me in biology looked very similar. We were similar height, build, hair colour and style and we both wore glasses. All year we were consistently called by the other’s name. Both thought it was funny and parents didn’t get involved.

However, I was a bit rubbish at biology but end of year had a glowing report. Convinced to this day we received the other’s report.