Teacher continually getting DD’s name wrong

[Magicshoppingtrolley]

DD mentioned when she started school last year that her English teacher was consistently getting her name wrong. I laughed it off saying she had lots of names to remember and I’m sure she would get there.

A year later and it’s continually happening. She teaches her 3 times a week so it’s not as though she rarely sees her, I’ve told DD to politely state what her name is each time she calls her by the wrong name. DD did so this week and was given a behaviour warning for being rude.

DD’s name is a standard name but not common so equivalent of the teacher calling her Jasmine when her name is Jennifer.

AIBU to say something to school or the teacher when we next have a parents evening?

There is a time and a place to correct the name a teacher is calling you, and it certainly isn't immediately it is said wrong. She should have approached the teacher at a quite moment in the lesson and explained. It is only rude if you are interrupting the flow of setting up a lesson or taking the register, which often has to be be done very fast. You will probably find she has a dozen Jennifers and Jazmines, all telling her they are "Jassss" not "Jaz" and "Jenneee" not "Jenny" etc. Not only that but in the middle of speaking in a whole class situation out is often completely impossible to make out exactly what someone is saying about the pronunciation of their name. I always say come and tell me clearly later, but if they don't and interrupt again when I am speaking, then yes, I would issue a warning, or a behaviour point

Definitely an email and questioning the warning for her correction.

And soon, lest your daughter does what I did to a similar teacher... using Jasmine as the example I don't mind Jasmine or Jazz but don't call me Jazzy. This teacher kept calling me Jazzy, I politely corrected her every time for a whole year. The next year "Hi Jazzy" "Don't FU^#&*£ call me JAZZY!" heard throughout the courtyard... how I never got disciplined for that I'll never know but I had been the quiet meek kid prior to that so maybe that had a baring on it 🤣

@curtaintwitchersannonymous DD didn’t interrupt. The teacher used the wrong name in addressing DD and DD replied saying “my name is Jennifer” (not actually that name). If it were a case of mispronunciation I might be more accepting but it’s a totally different name.

@MechyMagic Oops! DD is getting increasingly frustrated I think and this is a teacher who seems to issue warnings at the drop of a hat according to DD’s friends. But hopefully she will keep that frustration to herself 😂

I'm just popping on to mention that as a teacher, i've only seen my new classes twice a week since September. 15 / 16 times, for 50 minutes of full on teaching. That's 30 plus new names each class, plus pronouns etc. In my year 7's alone, that's 97 names. Year 8's 96. And so on. I am not superhuman and remembering all the names takes time. A polite correction after the lesson is fine, along with an acceptance that I am human and most jobs don't require you to recall hundreds of names perfectly in a short time period.

I mix my own children s names up all the time (we used to laugh at my dad for doing the same years ago and now I've the same kind of brain) .
Now I'm a teacher and I sometimes get the wrong name "stuck" in my head.... However I'm always very apologetic when I do mix up names.
The behaviour point is out of line but I wouldn't worry about the name slip up personally.

The teacher giving a behaviour warning for the teacher’s error seems like bullying to me. Makes me wonder if she’s just a bully and getting the name wrong on purpose!

Write to the school. “Dear headteacher, my daughter XYZ is in year 8, she started school on [date], and since then teacher ABC has consistently used the wrong name for her. My daughter has asked on several occasions that she be called by her name and instead teacher ABC chose to give XYZ a behaviour warning as, in ABC’s opinion, my daughter’s request to be called by her real name was rude. How can we fix this situation? I do understand that mistakes are made but this has been goingnon for over a year and the teacher’s constant refusal to call my daughter by her real name, and now this behaviour warning, is beginning to feel like my daughter is being bullied by teacher ABC. I hope that this is not the case. How will the school improve this situation? Regards, Mum of XYZ

I think it’s worth an email, she’s absolutely right to correct her name, but maybe bear in mind that the behaviour point could have been given due to the way your DD said it. We’ve all met teenagers!! Maybe don’t challenge the behaviour point without getting the full picture.

What would happen if your daughter just didn't respond to the name?

@phlebasconsidered Can I ask why after the lesson? If you call someone by an incorrect name why should a child let that slide? Surely they need to tell you immediately. If a student called you by an incorrect name would you wait until after the lesson to correct them?

Look I totally get the sheer number of names you have to learn but if you get one wrong then you should be corrected, respectfully.

I'm a retired teacher and I almost always found that there were a couple of pupils whose names I confused, after a few times of doing it I would explain that this happened in almost every class and they were the chosen ones in this class. It's crazy though to give a behaviour punishment for correcting the teacher.

Not directed at me, but I will answer - because there are 30 children in the class, and at any one point, 15 of them have something they want to say, and it isn't a free for all. There is a time when teachers speak and a time when it is appropriate for children to speak. And no, I would not stop a lesson and correct a child who got my name wrong, it simply does not matter

Just email the teacher and say

’Im just emailing you about the behaviour point on …. Date. I understand that Jennifer politely asked you to call her by her name Jennifer instead of ‘Jane’ which you have accidentally done for over a year. Jennifer is asking me how she can help you remember her correct name - and I’m at a loss although I appreciate you have many to learn!
was the behaviour point for her really necessary as Jennifer says it was for correcting you from calling her the wrong name again ? She says she was polite about this but could you explain why she got a behaviour point?

Thanks
Mum

@curtaintwitchersannonymous but this is getting a child's name wrong and clearly the teacher has said her name. Why would a correction not be appropriate? It is 2 seconds and pretty damn important and hardly stopping a lesson.

But this isn't a new class - it's been going on for over a year.

because like I said, there are 15 other children who also want to say something, and even if it is only 5-10 seconds each, it is just not appropriate to stop a lesson for it. You hugely underestimate the number of children, names and queries going on in the average classroom at any given moment

My DDs used to get incredibly frustrated because teachers, both at primary and secondary used to call them by the wrong name (so calling DD2 by DD1s name and vice versa). They used to correct teachers but never got a warning for it. So I think the teacher was unreasonable to do that.
Surely if you use the wrong name you just apologise and carry on.
I had a manager who called me Ellie all the time which is absolutely nothing like my name and it quickly stopped being funny and became fucking irratating.
Flag it with the school and question the behaviour warning.

V unreasonable to be given a behavioural warning. I'm a secondary teacher and I really appreciate being corrected, takes ages to get 200 new names every year.

@curtaintwitchersannonymous please don't assume I have never been in a classroom. Correct I have never been in a secondary classroom but I did spend over 10 years in primary classrooms. To be honest a teacher saying it can wait until the end smacks of I can never been seen to be wrong. A child's name is important, very important to them. Normally secondary school classes have seating plans, or at least both my sons' did so a teacher knew what their names were by looking at the sheet.

She absolutely deserves to be called her proper name and it is not good to have got to half term and still be getting it wrong.

However, be very very sure how your daughter ‘corrected’ the teacher. ‘It’s actually Jennifer Miss’ is fine. A bolshy ‘it’s JENNIFEEEEEEER’ with a big eye roll is not. Regardless of how many times she has got it wrong. Better to go to head of year or form tutor than be stroppy.
I’m sure she was very polite.

I’m primary supply and it’s hard to learn lots of new names, but I never mind being corrected. Called a child out for messing around today and got the wrong name (v similar but slightly different) I just apologised and made an effort to speak to him by name before he went out to break to help remind myself of his name and to reassure him I’d remembered the correct name!

I bet it hard to Learn /remember names but to keep getting it wrong is bad

But can happen but it's what happens when she says it's jennifer

Worse is why dd then gets a punishment

I would send an email to teacher and copy in tutor and head

If a child is addressing you in class, you're already speaking with that child. You're not mid-teaching in the sense of actively communicating information. Likewise if you're addressing a child, the child is not stopping you mid-lesson to reply.

If you're speaking to one of the 30, e.g. "and now let's have Harriet read Juliet's lines", but you're indicating Helen, it's normal and reasonable for Helen to say "My name is Helen, Miss Teacher," rather than going straight into "O, Romeo! Romeo! Wherefore art thou Romeo?". (Although here I suppose she could go for "wherefore am I Harriet called?", but that's shakier ground if the teacher isn't inclined to find that humorous.)

The teacher is rude.
The headteacher at my child's junior school used to stand and greet the children every morning. He knew ALL their names