AIBU to think this was misogyny (at the gym)

[Patienceisntvirtuous]

A few years ago I was quite into heavy lifting and went to the gym often for same. I fell out of favour with it, but recently found another suitable gym and took it up again. So I can't lift anywhere near what I used to but I'm enjoying it. I've been really quite down recently too and it has been helping.

Gym is owned by an absolutely lovely man who I've become friendly with-so I have asked him about this but he hasn't got back to me yet. I've also got a 'buddy' just a guy I know who's very into heavy lifting and we go together sometimes. Gym is a stereotypically 'old school' lifter's gym, a room full of weights basically. Typically full of blokes.

Anyway last night I'm in the gym and I go to use a machine (the lateral pulldown one) you can choose different bars to pull down so I went to switch to my preferred one and a man on a nearby machine shouts to me 'I'm using that!!'

I said 'I'm sorry?!' and he said again 'I'm using that machine, and this one, I'm switching between them !'

I did a bit of a head tilt and said 'Ah, you're using them BOTH, are you?' and he said yes.

I didn't want an argument so I started moving away to go on something else and he changed his mind and said 'It's okay, you can use it'. Then he asked 'Do you want me to move those?!' (meaning he hadn't de-stacked it so there were some weights on it too heavy for me to lift, and I'd started taking them off).

I said 'No thank you, I am quite capable' (which I am) and that was that. Two seconds later my gym buddy walks in, comes over to say hi to me and the man gave us both a weird look and left the gym.

I am thinking he wouldn't have said this to a man? And that he thought I was new, and small, and female, and he could boss me around and when my (huge) friend arrived he felt his nose put out of joint?

I'm not upset about it-just wanted some other opinions-sorry for loads of detail but I don't want to drip-feed!

@ManchesterLu I wasn't concerned about him offering to destack the machine. I was bothered about him hogging two machines.

I think so, OP.

Is sexist to assume women aren't strong enough to lift (if he was) - yep.

Is he an out and out woman hater? More evidence needed!!!!

So do I
And to know exactly what I did last time so as to progressively overload
My gym log book is at home

It’s normal to be doing sets with two pieces of equipment, and is fine as long as no-one else wanted to use it. It’s also gym etiquette to derack your weights yourself. So YABU.

I had this recently, man comes over to me and says I’m using that, except he hadn’t been on it for at least 10 minutes before I went on it because I’d been on the machine opposite, and I’d had time to change the handle and weights before he popped up, so I said well you weren’t on it 🤷‍♀️ and continued using it, he looked so confused, he obviously expected me to jump up and let him use it.

Don't understand why you're upset.

He was using both, instantly realised he was out of order and corrected it.

I'm not upset.

@DrRichardWebber but someone did (want to use it).
I wasn't bothered about him offering to de-rack the weights.

What is supersetting?

He was rude and unfriendly. Forget him and carry on.

There you go

So you think it was misogyny to use two machines at once?

I think you are one of the terminally offended tbh

Gosh, there's loads of unnecessary back story in your post about how you used to be able to life more etc etc.

I don't really get why you've messaged the gym owner about this and are waiting his opinion on it either.

Maybe this dude was a misogynist, maybe he wasn't.

We aren't privy to the content of other people's heads.

If it doesn't bother you why are you posting here and bothering the gym owner about it?

It's great that you're working on your strength but are you doing anything to work on your self esteem? Because this level of rumination isn't normal.

So he realised he was wrong or changed his mind- and as is the etiquette in most gyms, said he'd re rack the weights...... don't see the issue.