Halloween rant

[Mannerscostn0thing]

Am I being unreasonable to expect that if you elaborately decorate your house for Halloween that at least one adult should stay in the house to hand out treats (or leave some in an honestly box)?
In my area last night so many houses had signs up saying 'gone out trick-or-treating'. It's an affluent area and these houses have spent a lot showing off, just not participating!

I stayed in, with my dodgy pumpkin and home made decorations, and missed out on the fun to hand out treats. I was rewarded with groups of 6-12 children trying to push their way into my house for treat, waving their hands like the Zombies in Shaun of the Dead trying to get into the pub! Their parents, in equal numbers to their children, stood at the end of my drive watching.

I'm sure some on here will tell me to chill out but just as on the other AIBU thread today (about not one person thanking them for giving up their time to coach) I have to ask are we really such a selfish society now that we only care about our own children being excited and enjoying themselves and don't give a stuff about others? If you decorate your house to participate in Halloween, shouldn't you participate in Halloween? Why do ALL the adults need to be out? Surely it's 1 adult per group, 2 at a push?

A couple of examples that I found upsetting:

1. DH saw one group of 8 parents with their 10 - 12 children return from trick-or-treating, go into a house and replace the sign from 'gone trick or treating' to 'out of treats'.
2. I had a group of 'Tweens turn up with pillowcases no less stuffs full of sweets. I then saw them getting into one of their parents car and driving off to the next house.

Is this what Halloween is now self, self, self. Next year maybe the DCs could hand out treats to the parents who stay in! I think I’ll join in the fun too and will be carrying a very large box of eggs. So if you are reading this and are one of those people then beware. After all it is called 'trick or treat' for a reason!!!!

I was rewarded with groups of 6-12 children trying to push their way into my house for treat, waving their hands like the Zombies in Shaun of the Dead trying to get into the pub!

This did make me laugh.

Op, you're either taking the piss or you need to just chill out about Halloween. A lot of people decorate their house then nip out for a bit with their children.

If you get time though please write a list of Halloween Etiquette.

It's all a load of Americanised commercialised old shyte anyway. Yesterday afternoon there were about 20 pallets of pumpkins in Sainsbury's. Still there today. Who even eats the god awful things anyway? Hardly anyone that's who! Dozens and dozens of them hollowed out in every community every October and almost all just bin the innards. I mean who actually cooks it and serves it up to eat? Probably 1% of the people who bought them because the other 99% just chuck it in the bin and can't be arsed. Tastes like crap anyway. All this old tosh spending ridiculous amounts of money on useless Poundland 'tat' just for a couple of hours of encouraging your kids to knock on strangers doors asking for sweets, then spending the rest of the year drumming into them how they shouldn't take sweets from strangers? Really? Jeez I can't stand Halloween. Shove your frigging pumpkins up your erse! They taste like shyte anyway! 🎃 🤣

@CaroleSinger do you like Christmas?

Blimey, what a fuss over nothing. I'm so glad that my kids are now grown up and I no longer have to participate in this bollocks. I haven't done so in years and don't miss it.

When we did participate I used to leave my tub of sweets outside the front door even if one of us was in. I couldn't be arsed to go to the door every 30 seconds or more. Once they were gone they were gone (often within 10 minutes) so I would then extinguish the stupid pumpkin and bin it.

I'm of the bah humbug persuasion. 😉😃

Maybe they left a bowl of sweets out and it got emptied while they were out?

I understand what you're saying, OP, and I agree. So many people are happy to take but not to give.

I was handing out Haribo last night, and the first kids that came complained because they'd already been given Haribo and wanted something else. No please or thank you. Their parents didn't interject.

Ungrateful brats. Can't be bothered anymore.

Am I being unreasonable to expect that if you elaborately decorate your house for Halloween that at least one adult should stay in the house to hand out treats (or leave some in an honestly box)?
In my area last night so many houses had signs up saying 'gone out trick-or-treating'. It's an affluent area and these houses have spent a lot showing off, just not participating!

You're ridiculous. My house was decorated for Halloween. We went out trick or treating- yes, both adults, with our two kids - and then came home and have out sweets. This year we did leave some sweets on the porch but they were gone immediately (we know this from the Ring doorbell) so we won't be doing that next year. People who go to the effort of decorating their houses should he permitted to take their kids trick or treating for goodness sake!

Well I agree with you @Mannerscostn0thing if you have a pumpkin out, it means you should expect people to knock, and either leave sweets or be there. I wouldn’t worry if someone took all the sweets as there isn’t really anything you can do about that.

but clearly most people seem to not understand this basic signal and think it’s fine to not be there - we had several neighbours who had decorated for parties and seemed surprised when people called round.

I had treaters to my door last night and i was sorely disappointed that most didnt even say Trick or Treat! I just opened the door to some silent expectant faces, and palms out. Bloody rude and just missing the point. Cant parents educate their kids of they are taking them out??

I agree op. We had the same in our area tonight. I stayed back so that I could hand out sweets whilst my kids went with their dad. I appreciate it's different if you are a single parent family but what I saw was lots of kids going around with both parents with bucketful of sweets but who couldn't be bothered taking part for other people's kids. At some point when your kid has a bucketful you'd think most parents would be like that's enough now but one asked me for a carrier bag.

Op I'm intrigued as to how you know exactly what your neighbours movements were all evening? Plus how do you know they hadn't run out of sweets?!

I think most of us agree that you can decorate your house and still nip out to go trick or treating. Sweets can be left. It's not one or the other. If children knock on a door and there is no answer tell them to try the next door. More decorations make it more fun.

I have never come across children asking for a carrier bag, stamping on a pumpkin or trying to get in my house. Where on earth do people live where this is happening? I live in a normal area not posh by the way.

I agree OP; if you are taking part in Halloween - decorating and trick or treating - then you should probably have something to give to those who knock at your door. It all relies on people staying in and handing out sweets.

I thought that lit pumpkins indicated that you were up for trick or treating. Some people have to stay in - or honesty buckets have to be honestly handled - to make it fun.

OP I think lots of people do both, they give out treats, and then pop out for a while to collect some (or the other way round). I genuinely don’t understand the issue. If everyone stays in then who is actually going trick or treating?!!

I decorated the front door etc then took my kids out for an hour, no one home apart from the dog!

All my big bowl of sweets were handed out by 8pm to those that I could answer the door for, I can't cater for everyone! People can decorate and celebrate how they like!

When kids were little yes I'd leave a big bowl out (single parent). I don't see the problem here - most were a couple women or men with four or five kids, so presumably their spouses were manning the doors back home.
We had over 200 kids - exhausting!

I took my little ones out and left a sign as I'm a single mum and didn't have another adult to stay home and hand out treats on my behalf, but thanks for making me feel really shit about that.

I think it’s lovely to see both parents out with children. I stay in and hand out now (which I love) as my kids are too old to have a parent with them (social death!).

I do think that you should balance giving and taking - but it doesn’t have be on the same night! I have “given” before kids and plan to do so right into little old lady-hood. So what if for about 5 years I wasn’t always home?

And if they’ve dressed their house anyway - they’re contributing to the ambiance so not just taking.

I had a group of 'Tweens turn up with pillowcases no less stuffs full of sweets. I then saw them getting into one of their parents car and driving off to the next house.

I followed most of the post, meaning I understood why you'd find the situations you described annoying, but not sure what the issue was with this bit.

We took our DS out for 30 mins, then came back and handed out sweets. Trick or treating is normally over a few hours so you can do both.

Hi @Mannerscostn0thing I chose a nice new shiny username just for you!

Seriously you actually think your kids have the right to egg houses of people because they aren't on hand all night to wait on your kids and give them sweets? You're encouraging your kids to be entitled bullies?

I'm calling BS on these posters who claim they go out of their homes and put a notice on their doors saying they are out. Yeah, sure you do.

Yes I noticed this too, when we used to go treat or treating. Decorations means come knock. We'd go knocking then go home and put out the pumpkins, showing kids that we're in. Bit werid to decorate but not hand out sweets, especially when they've been trick or treating.

Why on earth would you put a sign on your door saying you aren't home?
Might as well just put "please rob me". Utter stupidity, I can't believe people actually do this.

Will there be a time when you plan to be the giver or will you only ever be the taker?