Halloween rant

[Mannerscostn0thing]

Am I being unreasonable to expect that if you elaborately decorate your house for Halloween that at least one adult should stay in the house to hand out treats (or leave some in an honestly box)?
In my area last night so many houses had signs up saying 'gone out trick-or-treating'. It's an affluent area and these houses have spent a lot showing off, just not participating!

I stayed in, with my dodgy pumpkin and home made decorations, and missed out on the fun to hand out treats. I was rewarded with groups of 6-12 children trying to push their way into my house for treat, waving their hands like the Zombies in Shaun of the Dead trying to get into the pub! Their parents, in equal numbers to their children, stood at the end of my drive watching.

I'm sure some on here will tell me to chill out but just as on the other AIBU thread today (about not one person thanking them for giving up their time to coach) I have to ask are we really such a selfish society now that we only care about our own children being excited and enjoying themselves and don't give a stuff about others? If you decorate your house to participate in Halloween, shouldn't you participate in Halloween? Why do ALL the adults need to be out? Surely it's 1 adult per group, 2 at a push?

A couple of examples that I found upsetting:

1. DH saw one group of 8 parents with their 10 - 12 children return from trick-or-treating, go into a house and replace the sign from 'gone trick or treating' to 'out of treats'.
2. I had a group of 'Tweens turn up with pillowcases no less stuffs full of sweets. I then saw them getting into one of their parents car and driving off to the next house.

Is this what Halloween is now self, self, self. Next year maybe the DCs could hand out treats to the parents who stay in! I think I’ll join in the fun too and will be carrying a very large box of eggs. So if you are reading this and are one of those people then beware. After all it is called 'trick or treat' for a reason!!!!

From the conversation had with MIL yesterday the houses who have stopped have children who have left school within the past few years.
DD is 16 in December and out trick or treating with her friends. and I think I'd have been told DD was too old if they were the same age 😬..
I've worded that last sentence horrifically but no idea how I'd correct it.

YABU. We decorate and also go out. Sometimes I'm working so it's all on DH. He can't do both so he takes DS out for a bit. He hands out treats to those who come when they're in though, and I give little treat bags to the neighbours' kids if I know this is happening.
In our area we get well over 100 kids at the door every year and almost everyone goes for it, so I know they won't miss out.
Remember this is meant to be fun and participation is voluntary. If you don't like it for whatever reason, just have a wee party in your house.

Holy shit thanks god my DC are grown up now, what an awful lot of fuss over a few sweets.

To all the single parents I was not having go at you. I explicitly said I didn't understand why both parents of all the children in a group all needed to be out.

I'm glad I posted this thread it's taught me a lot.

@Mannerscostn0thing they basically all went as barbie 😁 and froze to death after five houses but it's kinda nice when teens want to still enjoy fun 'little kid' things I think.

I don't see the problem with decorating your house for Halloween, taking your own DC out with friends and their parents and leaving a note to say you're out for an hour.
If no answer then move on!

And if you threw an egg at my house I'd be egging you back from the window
What an outdated and nasty thing to do!

🤣🤣

There seems to be selection bias on this thread. Full of lots of grumpy people complaining about everyone else's halloween bad behaviour. Last night there was a lovely thread on which people were reporting cute, polite trick or treaters and saying how much they enjoyed the experience of handing out sweets.

Mumsnet misery-guts - if you call them, they will come!

Christ on a bike! Chill out! Some parents have children of different ages who want to go with friends, therefore both parents are out… or maybe one parent is still working or not available!
If someone has left a sign out then they’ve left a sign out! And they can decorate their house however they like.
I handed stuff out til 7pm, ran out of candy and went to a friends party. Was I supposed to take all the decs down before I left???

We had well over 150 maybe 200 kids at our door. Every single one took a single sweetie and said thank you. The little ones, the biggest ones. No-one grabbed, no-one pushed or shoved or anything else.
It was fun and sweet, despite the torrential rain.

I should have been on yesterday's thread then. I thoroughly enjoyed it, and the trick or treaters were generally delightful - universally polite and often very cute.

A special shout out for the very sweet older sibling - probably around 9 - who turned to his little brother who had just taken a sweet, and said "now what do you say, George?". Followed by a very hearty "thank you" from young George. Their parents would have been proud!

I'd argue many houses don't have 2 parents at home at the time - lots of people are home later than when Trick or Treating typically starts - do you want their kids to miss out on going out so they can answer the door to your kids?

I popped my pumpkin and sweets out last night as DS is ill. He was really sad about missing going out and I'm not going to let him be disturbed every few minutes by other kids at the door for hours.

I think you sound entitled, to be honest. For the most part, people are doing their best.

Jesus christ, this is crazy. No one owes you an explanation for how they spend their Halloween or what method their trick or treating takes. I'm sorry but you sound very uptight and anxious. You are borderline rude and obnoxious towards other view points here as well.

I'm glad you've learnt a lot OP. Hope you've also learnt that you absolutely do not know anybody's circumstances despite claiming that you do. You just don't.

You 100% cannot know the circumstances of all your neighbours. They may be living an affluent area but may have bought at time when able and financial circs may have changed hugely. They may not be WFH and actually be redudant now, you dont know this. Nor do you know their personal health struggles. Actually, you dont know anything. So naive of you to think that you do. They may be bereaved.

...count yourself lucky that your biggest problem seems to be judging what other adults do or dont do on the evening of 31st October.

Yes op everyone else is so selfish and you were the only good human in the world who stayed home🙄

Maybe they decorated their houses for them and their kids, not just to show off to you?

Oh does that mean I need to spend the whole of December at home just in case I get carol singers because of my Christmas decorations?

Is this actually a thread, and not, you know, a wind up?
Thanks for the entertainment.

Dear god... all this ridiculous drama from so called adults 😂

The entitlement is strong 💪

This was us. Breaching the unwritten rule of Halloween etiquette ! Oh the horror! 😱

we have a 3 yo and baby, and went with 2 other families with similarly young children. We all wanted to go, and I wouldn’t have left my 3yo with a friend as you say “one adult per group”.

it was our first time trick or treating and we wanted to enjoy it as a family. Also one ran to keep up/ ensure road safety with the 3yo and one pushed the pram. Not keen on trying to do both when dark and over excited 3yo.

frankly you sound absolutely mental and bitter.

@Mannerscostn0thing in our group we had 3 two year olds, and 2 three year olds, and an 18 month old (the only one in a pram). How many parents do you think in this situation is safe to supervise especially crossing busy roads in the dark? Just one?

#wontsomebodythinkofthechildren?

Surely people can do whatever they want! Some people decorate their houses for the enjoyment of their children too- not just for trick or treaters. I think it sounds like you feel a bit regretful you stayed in

This is how I feel.

I think it works the other way - not decorating indicates you don’t want to take part at all. Decorating doesn’t necessarily imply you will.
having said that, I didn’t decorate, didn’t buy sweets and still got very violent and repeated knocks at my door (which I obvs didn’t answer as didn’t have sweets). And I do mean violent. No postie or other delivery man has ever made so much noise.