Halloween rant

[Mannerscostn0thing]

Am I being unreasonable to expect that if you elaborately decorate your house for Halloween that at least one adult should stay in the house to hand out treats (or leave some in an honestly box)?
In my area last night so many houses had signs up saying 'gone out trick-or-treating'. It's an affluent area and these houses have spent a lot showing off, just not participating!

I stayed in, with my dodgy pumpkin and home made decorations, and missed out on the fun to hand out treats. I was rewarded with groups of 6-12 children trying to push their way into my house for treat, waving their hands like the Zombies in Shaun of the Dead trying to get into the pub! Their parents, in equal numbers to their children, stood at the end of my drive watching.

I'm sure some on here will tell me to chill out but just as on the other AIBU thread today (about not one person thanking them for giving up their time to coach) I have to ask are we really such a selfish society now that we only care about our own children being excited and enjoying themselves and don't give a stuff about others? If you decorate your house to participate in Halloween, shouldn't you participate in Halloween? Why do ALL the adults need to be out? Surely it's 1 adult per group, 2 at a push?

A couple of examples that I found upsetting:

1. DH saw one group of 8 parents with their 10 - 12 children return from trick-or-treating, go into a house and replace the sign from 'gone trick or treating' to 'out of treats'.
2. I had a group of 'Tweens turn up with pillowcases no less stuffs full of sweets. I then saw them getting into one of their parents car and driving off to the next house.

Is this what Halloween is now self, self, self. Next year maybe the DCs could hand out treats to the parents who stay in! I think I’ll join in the fun too and will be carrying a very large box of eggs. So if you are reading this and are one of those people then beware. After all it is called 'trick or treat' for a reason!!!!

Not at all I did have a great evening. I'm disappointed that there seems to be a view in society today that you can take but not give. I've done Halloween for a few years now and more people seem to be going gout that staying in. If everyone does that then what?

I noticed last night how many dc were out with both parents - and even grandparents as well in some instances - and I just thought how lovely that was.

We didn't often stay in to hand out treats when dd was younger, as dh was often out of the country at that time, and I would be taking dd out. So I guess in those early years, we didn't "reciprocate". However, we have more than done our fair share of handing out sweets in the years since then...we had over 100 kids call at our house last night, for example. So I think it balances out over time.

As for decorating... yes, I would usually assume that to mean that someone would be in handing out sweets, but if they've put up a sign to say they're out, then fair enough. It's no big deal if they want to decorate in my view.

How do you know all this anyway if you didn't go out?

If your kids were whinging to you about it, tell them...

1. They're coming across as ungrateful little brats.
2. If they're that bothered a house is empty, knock back later when someone might be home.
3. People who decorate their homes don't owe your kids shit.

Did you read the post or did you just come starting to the comments?

This.

Also OP, it will never be everyone out trick or treating, not every has kids and those that do don't young trick-or-treating aged kids forever!

I did my best to read the long whiney post but to be honest I must've missed it.

So how do you know all this?

Last night MIL wanted to take DS for a little walk around her village, she said it was funny the amount of people who were not participating, but had children just slightly too old for trick or treating now, or actually had children who had been out that night.

One neighbour had their door kicked repeatedly by a child who's parents were lovingly looking on, when they opened the door, the child was shouting "I saw you, ignoring me!" And proceeded to smash their pumpkin up...according to neighbours atleast. I'm a bit shocked that people would allow their kids to act that way.

It would be fab to hand out treats to people who have stayed in to hand out sweets.

Halloween does drag out the arseholes in many cases though.

Halloween does drag out the arseholes in many cases though.

And some of them stay in 🤣🤣

This just about sums it up. Every year there's so much angst about Halloween. There's even been a thread about sweet givers not being jolly enough.

There are lots of reasons why people might have decorated their house or gone out/not answered the door.

If your dc got to dress up and were given some sweets then I'd say that's pretty fortunate.

Your geets are not entitled to sweets just because a hoose is elaborately decorated. Also maybe one parent did bide hame but was stuck on the loo having a shite and not able to answer the door? Didnae think o that did ye?

Jeez. Get a bloody grip.

So if you're a single parent or the other parent is out at work, or ill or whatever, either

• you must not decorate your house, or
• if you do, you cannot take your DC out trick or treating

The sensible answer is surely - decorate if you want to, go out for your own T&Ting, and be ready to receive callers once you're back. Common sense seems to have gone out of the window.

But yes, some DC are greedy little buggers left to their own devices, and need to be trained to take no more than one or two items (depending on size - of the item, not the child)

They also need to be trained not to drop anything. It's hell for families with dogs when there is chocolate or anything containing raisins on the pavement

That's really awful. I imagine it's always been the case though. My parents used to tell me some stories about what 'their friends' used to get up to in the 50s-60s as children but it was always with a fear of their parents finding out, not watching!

I'm just happy that nobody bothers around where we live. I hope they don't start in the future.

Sounds like a nightmare.

There's always a few people who spoil it for everyone else.

Again I am not taking about single parents. My area is firmly couples and it was the groups of mums and dads taking their kids out but not reciporcating that I explicitly mentioned.

I think you should only decorate if you're going to be in. This is how the children know what houses to go to. No decorations means no sweets where I live.

I wonder what 'slightly too old' for trick or treating is?

My 13 year old went with her friends and had a great fun evening.

My mum came to my area last night to help me take my children out trick or treating for a bit, she did comment how nice it was that so many people in our area participate even if they don't seem to have children of trick or treating age (pensioners or parents of little babies)

Apparently, in her (much posher) area so many go out or don't participate that there would be no point going round there streets.

I agreed that it's a lovely thing to do for the houses that stay in to hand out sweets or leave the honesty box on the doorstep (which is what we did). If they didn't do it, there would be no opportunity to trick or treat for anyone. It's an event that relies entirely on the generosity of others.

@Mannerscostn0thing , just some food for thought for you..

Some people may enjoy decorations and that side of halloween but perhaps they don't like children? or long for children and have struggled with infertility for years? Maybe they cant bear to be around heaps and heaps of endless children/families on THEIR doorstep, feels like personal and invasive in some ways? Or perhaps they have crippling anxiety? Perhaps theyre not British/familiar with trick-or-treating? Cant afford to give out sweets? (You say you live in a naice are but you certainly don't know the intricacies of anyones finances).

God I'm so glad I never have to get involved in Halloween again! It's the absolute worst.

So maybe they will reciprocate in a few years, when their kids are a bit older. Or maybe they won't, it's up to them.

We gave out tons of treats last night but nobody forced us to. It's a choice, and we did it because we thought it was fun.

Nobody is obliged to give your kids sweets. If you choose to give out treats, nobody is obliged to reciprocate. There are plenty of people who will do it because they want to. Why not just let others get on with doing their thing while you get on with doing yours?

I live in an affluent area, put up decorations but as a single parent to a 6yo had no choice but to take her out trick or treating.

Last 2 years I've left out an honesty box and within 10 mins it had been "dishonestly" emptied (as shown on ring doorbell footage!)

I decorated the house for the kids (not elaborate mind you, a few cheap decorations). And then yes we went out for about half an hour trick or treating ourselves, because my kids obviously wanted to! What’s this entitled bs that I must stay in if my house is decorated?? ‘Sorry kids house is decorated so no trick or treating for you’, really? I blew out the pumpkins and turned the outside light off when we went so no one should have come knocking.
YABU and ridiculous.

If they made an effort to dress up and were polite, I think that's fine, personally. My own dd stopped out of choice when she started secondary school, but we definitely had a few younger teenagers around last night. They were all lovely and they were most welcome.

Even "firmly couples" can have one parent unavailable for a while. And that shouldn't mean the DC can't go out T&T-ing

It'll all even up over the years.

(Unless overly-entitled people attempt to justify keeping a score)