To think whether or not you ‘bounce back’ after pregnancy is down to luck

[MsBump31]

I keep seeing these Instagram posts of women working out throughout their pregnancy who say “I’m not lucky for bouncing back - I worked hard”.

AIBU to think it IS actually purely down to luck?

I know women who were hospitalised for the entire of their pregnancies with morning sickness - I had to bed rest and was told to eat more by the doctors as I kept fainting, so I packed on more weight.

Not everyone can work out during pregnancy - in fact a lot of women can’t - and to imply the reason their figure is so great afterwards because “they worked hard” is just so ableist. Women are hospitalised for all sorts of conditions in pregnancy, it’s a difficult time for many.

You’re very, very lucky if you have a pregnancy that allows you to still function, let alone one that allows you the energy to keep up workouts IMO.

So yes, it’s down to luck.

In my case it was absolutely luck. I was back in size 6 jeans about two days after giving birth both times. There was no time for it to be anything other than luck, it certainly wasn't exercise. And pre-pregnancy I was slim but didn't do much exercise so hadn't done anything then to make it easier.

If you eat cleanly and keep moving there is a higher chance of it than if you lounge on the sofa stuffing your face with hob nobs.

I was so nauseous and pukey during both pregnancies -paradoxically, the only thing that seemed to settle the perpetual sick-feeling was eating. So I ate a lot! Having been a whippet thin yoga bunny with a serious gym habit prior to pregnancy, I emerged almost 2 stone heavier after DC1 was born. Never managed to lose all of it, despite 'working hard'.

I think it is mostly age, followed by weight, followed by general health and mental health. Most Mums under 25 bounce back into shape well. The older you are the harder it is for sure.

I started pregnancy 1 at 9st2, had awful nausea and couldn't face eating, went down to 8st 7, while gaining bump, too exhausted to do much more than basic function and fainted at work. The SPD then kicked in before the nausea finally fucked off. When I could actually eat in the second half, the weight piled on- I suspect that I'd buggered up my metabolic rate and lost a lot of muscle. I ended up near housebound and 13st. Had an EMCS after a long labour and ended up in HDU. When the easy birthweight and water retention had passed, I was 2st heavier than normal. In the 3rd trimester, I'd outgrown a lot of maternity clothes as my bump reached the stage where it out-grew the grid that the MW plotted the fundus on leaving her putting her x by the title.

I started getting fit from a starting point of 10 days pp, using hiking poles to walk 100m then going to bed to recover. My legs were the thinnest that they'd ever been in adulthood from muscle wastage.
It took months of work and patience to get to the point of doing a normal fitness class about 5m later. It took about 2m to slim back into maternity jeans, and 9 months for regular clothes.

The second pregnancy was better. I was a bit fitter than first time, the nausea wasn't as consuming and I'd learned more about how to manage SPD. 10+ years later, I'm the fittest I've ever been. Still have a saggy CS overhang and my skin is trashed.

Some people are lucky. Some people work at it.

I do hate it when people trill "pregnancy isn't an illness" to women who are clearly struggling. Sometimes it's damaging to "work at it". I tried to keep moving by going swimming as my body was losing the ability to walk by the week. I was too knackered to swim lengths, but having had the GP dismiss my SPD as "pregnancy aches and pains" I didn't realise that I was fucking my body up even more by learning to swim widths of breast stroke to give purpose to those sessions.

"Not working at it" isn't necessarily laziness. Health, age, genes, lifestyle, sleep, support etc are not an even playing field.
It's amazing how insensitive people can be though, even when it's obvious that someone is struggling and I had a few dickish comments even though I could barely walk.

I'm mid 30s, exercised during pregnancy, exercised after pregnancy and got back down to pre-pregnancy weight after about a year which felt slow at the time. When I went back to work and got comments about having lost the baby weight I didn't use the BS 'BF helped me lose it' I was upfront and said I went to exercise classes (with baby!) 3x a week. It wasn't luck!

I think bodies, genetics and circumstances are all different, like I said I had 4 sections. I have no overhang and you would never know. I actually weighed 7.10 stone after birth and was 8 stone before I was pregnant, no stretch marks, no leftover bulge. It was literally like my body just snapped back. I was 38 on my last. My friend put on 4 stone in pregnancy, never lost it, has an apron tummy but She absolutely radiated motherhood. She was so happy and absolutely adored her new mother status. She is still the same, the happiest person I know. I was skinny with no stretch marks but I got horrible post natal depression after all my kids. I would have taken the extra weight rather than the poor mental health any day. I was lucky in one way that my body needed No help and I didn’t have to do anything at all to lose weight but my head was fucked and I was unlucky in that regard.

Your mother is only responsible for half your genes though...

I think it’s age, genetics and lifestyle. I don’t think anything on life is purely down to luck.

There are many people, especially on Instagram that have quite active gym lives and many of them create a brand around parenting and may almost force themselves to “bounce back”. You just don’t know what is happening behind closed doors.

I was in my very early 20s for my first - bounced back but have stretch marks. I had an easy pregnancy and I was always out and about.

this time in my early 30s I have bad hip and pelvic pain and although I am pushing myself to eat healthier I am hungry more often and can just about manage a 20 minute walk. I don’t know how quickly I will bounce back but if I have to rest, instead of being that active throughout the pregnancy I will. However I always fit in a walk and stretch each day.

It's not down to luck. It's down to health and caring for yourself and about yourself

Genetics combined with exercising gives you better results than genetics alone. I gain weight easily, so if I had been sitting on the sofa eating for 2, I would be one of the women who gain 50 pounds and can never lose it. I worked out a lot, literally until birth and back at gym a few weeks later - yes, lucky that I didn't have any issues and was able to do that, but I don't think that was luck that I actually did it.

There's many factors. Health conditions, lifestyle, exercise, eating etc.

I'm short & have PCOS so battle my weight constantly. I was 35 & 39. No stretch marks, easy births, no complications or loose skin. DM was the same. I lost the weight because I did exercise before & after birth & watched what I ate. Although, my already ample hips widened further (hate them!), and I inherited varicose veins. (From my father's side, according to DM!)

Whereas a friend had her first at 18. Naturally slim (model), snapped back to shape & size but her tummy skin was badly stretch marked & she could literally grab a handful of skin an pull it outwards. No elasticity at all. Poor lifestyle, though.

It's a mixed bag of genetics, activity and eating. I don't judge, just assume everyone has a different body makeup.

I think it’s a combination of age and exercise.

With DC1 I was very fit and bounced back in no time. DC2 came along 5 years later followed by DC3 a year after that and it’s been much harder to get back in shape due to lack of time and energy compared to pre children.

I did however drag myself on a walk twice a day every day in pregnancy up until (and on!) the day I gave birth thanks to the dog so maybe that helped.

It’s luck they they have the kind of pregnancy where they can work out but it doesn’t negate the fact that the exercise they did do was still hard work.

It was bizarre - when I had my baby the weight literally dropped off me and it was great! Then postnatal anxiety knocked on my door followed by fluoxetine and bam - the weight piled on. I'm off it now but still 1st7 up.

I think if you have a placid baby it doesn’t help. People talk about maternity leave as watching seasons of tv and resting on sofa… My Ds screamed every second we sat down for the first year. He didn’t sleep ever, and breasted every hour 24/7. So basically constant breastfeeding and walking around house, town, woods hours and hours a day with him in sling so he wouldn’t scream. At 10 weeks old I remember my steps at about 30,000 daily with the amount of walking, which is like a daily half marathon.
I didn’t eat much either as no time to prep, and I hated breastfeeding as soon as I had eaten as baby was giant weight on stomach

I think the problem is defining "bouncing back" as losing all the weight, getting the same figure back, getting your hair done, make up, nails all that sort of thing. I certainly didn't do any of those things! But I certainly felt physically well and strong very quickly, and was happy and pretty confident. This I put down to easy pregnancies, straightforward non medicated births (nothing wrong with medicated births of course-but it's something else to recover from) healthy babies,no feeding issues, a warm comfortable home to go back to, a loving supportive partner, a good support network and parenting role models,no money worries and good child bearing hips and genes. And perhaps a naturally positive outlook. So yes, luck, luck and more luck. Let's not talk about the weight, though!

It depends what you mean by bounce back. I “bounced back” with no effort to pretty much the same weight/shape as pre pregnancy but I have stretch marks and softer boobs so it permanently altered my body in a way that was beyond my control.

I think stretch marks, separated abdominal muscles, C section overhangs, birth injuries - tears etc are down to luck and genetics. I consider myself lucky to only have stretch marks, some women can have life altering changes following pregnancy/birth that no amount of “hard work” will fix.

I have watched an 18 year old give birth and honestly 20 minutes afterwards you couldn't tell she had been pregnant.

So I think age has something to do with it. Also maybe easier to bounce back from pregnancy number 1 as the muscles have only been streched once.

I was happiest with my body between my 1st and 2nd child, but would say 9 months up, 9 months down was definitely true for me.

I don't think it's luck. I went back to pre pregnancy weight after my first 2 because I make a conscious effort to diet and exercise.

I haven't done this at all with my 3rd and keep the weight on

Depends on what you mean by bouncing back. Within a month I had my pre pregnancy weight back without doing any workouts (I've always been very slim). However, I was (and still am) injured from pregnancy and giving birth. I look like I bounced back, but internally I haven't. I'm in my 20s so that probably helped with the weight loss.

I couldn't 'bounce back' as my son changed the shape of my body. My hips and ribcage are now wider and, though they shrunk a little, I can't fit into size six jeans any more. It took a long time to wrap my head around it as I was the fittest I'd ever been before I got pregnant with him and was really happy with how I looked.

My stomach and waist did go back to very close to pre-pregnancy size after about a year but that was because of a combination of genetics and going to Zumba I think.

I had to give away two thirds of my wardrobe 😭😂

I bounced back in that as soon as my baby came out I was back to my pre pregnancy weight. It was a mixture of good luck, eating well during pregnancy and keeping active right until the end (no exercise, just work, housework, nesting) I unbounced myself by eating all the chocolate and junk food I missed during pregnancy and 10 months later am back to my pregnancy weight!

Looking slim straight after pregnancy is more luck as it depends on factors outside of your control. As far as functioning well straight away, a lot of it is down to how the birth went and attitude - there was no paternity when mine were born so you just got on and managed, I went to the supermarket with dd aged 23 hours old because I needed things like preemie sized clothes (she was unexpectedly only 6lbs) but I had a really easy birth both times and had youth on my side (in 20's). I'm still overweight though 25 years later

Pure luck here. I had never done any proper exercise. I was slim by nature.
3 kids later. I still fit into my jeans I had before the first was born.