To think whether or not you ‘bounce back’ after pregnancy is down to luck

[MsBump31]

I keep seeing these Instagram posts of women working out throughout their pregnancy who say “I’m not lucky for bouncing back - I worked hard”.

AIBU to think it IS actually purely down to luck?

I know women who were hospitalised for the entire of their pregnancies with morning sickness - I had to bed rest and was told to eat more by the doctors as I kept fainting, so I packed on more weight.

Not everyone can work out during pregnancy - in fact a lot of women can’t - and to imply the reason their figure is so great afterwards because “they worked hard” is just so ableist. Women are hospitalised for all sorts of conditions in pregnancy, it’s a difficult time for many.

You’re very, very lucky if you have a pregnancy that allows you to still function, let alone one that allows you the energy to keep up workouts IMO.

So yes, it’s down to luck.

I had constant pregnancy nausea for the first four months or so with both of my pregnancies that went to term. The only way (at the time, it was a long time ago and there are more medications now) to get rid of it was to graze. I gained a lot of weight both times and had big babies. So no, I didn't bounce back.
I think it's reliant on age, circumstances (whether you have the time and opportunity to exercise etc, so your job plays a big role), your genes and also how your own particular body deals with pregnancy.

I worked out daily until due date (through morning sickness I toiled). Now I still look pregnant and have piled on weight BF

I’d say luck, I bounced back after 4 sections. Left the hospital in size 8 jeans. I had great pregnancies but didn’t work on getting back into shape. It just happened. I think it could be genetics or luck who knows. I did get quite bad depression though so not all plain sailing.

Of course it's not down to luck - you yourself compare someone who worked out (and probably watched their diet carefully) to someone confined to bed and told to eat more - hmmmm, why are you surprised they regain their shape sooner? Or do you mean 'luck' that they didn't have complications? Most women don't. Genetics plays a part too, but I think your example rather proves the point it does take hard work.

I wouldn't say I bounced back, still took 3-4 months. Again I put it down to breastfeeding, pushing a pram for miles each day to get baby to sleep and generally putting my own basic needs like food and drink at the bottom of the pile. Although I've gone back to being my pre pregnancy size and weight I feel like my body shape and bone structure has definitely changed.

Obviously not everyone has the same opportunity to ‘bounce back’ (hate that term), due to their medical situation, or indeed just the level of support they have after the child is born. So in that sense there is an element of ‘luck’ if you want to put it like that. However, this statement is clearly ridiculous;

You’re very, very lucky if you have a pregnancy that allows you to still function

Most people are physically fine after they’ve had a kid. Of course it’s hard to eat well and exercise when you have a new baby but to make out like it’s not possible for the vast majority of people is madness.

I think it's luck mostly and also not over eating and Brest feeding or expressing helps. I am shocked that I now weight 10kg less than pre pregnancy (9m post Partum) I can only credit this to 6 months of producing breast milk and barely drinking there fire avoiding the booze and snack calories, and walking a lot every day instead of being sat at a desk. I wonder what will happen when I return to work. The heartbreak diet also works welll (fiancé ran away 5 weeks before baby was born) i don't recommend that though!

Yes I think not having idle hands reduced snacking!

Size 8 before pregnancy. Hyperemesis, severely anaemic, lots of time spent in hospital with threatened miscarriage. Finally managed to eat a few things in weeks 33-38.

Limped out of the hospital after a botched section with a 7 and 3/4 lb baby, PTSD, pain for the next 20 years, adhesions forming all over the place that only really stopped after another 8 (they must all have finally snapped or permanently glued themselves) and a size 10 on top, size 12 hips - and size 26 waist from the tearing to the skin. BF did nothing to contribute towards weightloss, as I wasn't that much different (and the ex was a useless twat who controlled the shopping and was obsessed with cheese sandwiches, chips and doughnuts - said that he would have a breakdown if I brought vegetables into the flat).

Not great to find out later that I had EDS - my skin was never going to bounce back, even without the surgery - and it also triggered, due to the pain making it damn near impossible to get active beyond walking whilst leaning on the buggy for support, years of back and hip pain.

I lost count of the number of women over the years who delighted in telling me how they skipped out of hospital in the same size 8 (but 1960s size 8, not like the giant size 8s of the 1980s) jeans they had worn until they were 7 months gone and that they bounced back because they 'never let themselves go in the first place' or they 'worked at it'.

I think it's age. I gave birth at 38...I imagine I would've 'bounced back' quickly had I been 18.

Just wanted to address a few posters who are saying most women have healthy, easy pregnancies and could work out if they wanted…

Yes being hospitalised and bedbound is at the extreme end of “pregnancy bad luck” but most women do experience extreme fatigue, sickness to some degree, and many aren’t able to maintain their usual workouts for health reasons.

The women who are able to maintain their workouts should be acknowledging their luck/privilege in being able to still workout IMO. I’d love to have been able to workout

Not sure what your point is. You clearly had a tough pregnancy but your response to that is to try and shit on women who worked out during their pregnancy?

You sound very bitter.

I don’t think women should attribute being able to workout during pregnancy as them working hard. It implies for all the poor women with complications that it’s all down to how hard you work - when it clearly isn’t.

People’s experiences of pregnancy and the impact on their bodies is vastly different, and if you can workout, you should at least acknowledge that you’re one of the lucky ones

The women who are able to maintain their workouts should be acknowledging their luck/privilege in being able to still workout IMO. I’d love to have been able to workout

But why does a woman who continues to be active during pregnancy need to consider you? Why do they need to acknowledge some sort of privilege?
Their lifestyle has no bearing on yours, you being bed-bound has nothing to do with them.

Plus I don’t see how your pregnancy health conditions extend past birth so I’m not really sure what the point of your post is? Health or weight during pregnancy isn’t an indicator for health or weight for the rest of your life.z

Wow. I'm not sure if you read the same OP as I did.

100% its genetics

I have a friend who has given birth SIX times. She has barely any stretch marks and no loose skin at all. I know another woman who has had 2 children and zero stretch Mark's, again zero loose skin

I've got awful loose skin from 3 pregnancies and my stretch Mark's are so so deep. I'm the slimmest out of all of us and the shortest so I put it down to the fact I'm so short my body stretched more so cant recover as well as theres 😂

My mum was the same and she had 4 children

I think everyone’s body is different yes.
SIL lost weight during pregnancy due to HG.
With DC1 I put on way more weight than planned because I had to cut my exercise due to PGP and the physio told me to stop. With DC2 I had complications which meant I wasn’t allowed to exercise for 16 weeks postpartum.
Postpartum I was hungry all the time. Blood tests came back normal but I’d literally faint (happened twice) if I don’t eat whilst breastfeeding. For me the whole “you’ll lose weight whilst breastfeeding” was crap, I get heavier.
I now have over 25kg to lose just to get back to a healthy and safe BMI, I was average pre children. That’s not something I can do overnight. Nor can I do it whilst I’m breastfeeding. I don’t know how much more I’ll put on in the meantime.

I don’t think women should attribute being able to workout during pregnancy as them working hard. It implies for all the poor women with complications that it’s all down to how hard you work - when it clearly isn’t.

No need to diminish another woman’s achievements. Maybe someone found it quite hard to squeeze in a workout a few times a week around their family life and work commitments.
It’s not their fault you are on the defensive and imply things that haven’t been said.
Someone can feel they worked hard by remaining active throughout their pregnancy without it having any impact on you.

I was thin & fit before first pregnancy. I was 31, had run a half marathon, did lots of cycling, yoga, swimming. Active holidays like skiing.

Did not bounce back. At all. Really, really struggled to lose the tummy, i was breastfeeding and just didn't really lose it until about a year later. My boobs were huge for ages. Eventually got v slim again and in shape, it was hard work and involved serious dieting.

2nd pregnancy, complicated, baby wasn't growing well, high risk of still birth. Ate a lot due to stress and trying to make baby grow bigger even though i knew that's not how it worked.

Baby prem & very ill a lot in first year.

Just couldn't shake the weight. Still can't 4 years on.

You are less likely to have stretch marks in your twenties , hang on to weight gained in pregnancy , your joints recover quicker and be physically fitter in your twenties .

On a separate note, i fucking hate the use of the term "work out" as a verb. Its a bad as people who describe any kind of exercise as "training".

Can we all just go back to not being American/affected and say "going for a run" or "yoga class" or "exercising".

Elite athletes train for competitive events. Going down the gym doesn't need to be described as "training".

I gain so much weight whilst breastfeeding. I cannot lose weight. When I stopped I returned to normal so quick.

I am now breastfeeding again and I feel awful. I know it's my milk but I just can't help but feel bad!!! I CANNOT BOUNCE BACK!!! I was also super fit in pregnancy, hiking til I was 8 months and now I am huge.

This little bit from Serena Williams makes me feel better though...

Even a vegan, sugar-restricted diet with tough workouts didn't do the trick while she continued to breastfeed. “You hear when you breastfeed you lose weight and you're so thin, and it wasn't happening to me,” Williams said at Wimbledon on Sunday.

Totally get it OP. First pregnancy I was house bound for the third trimester, massively inflamed ligaments in my foot, caused by my EDS reacting very badly to the relaxin hormone and I was trying to do similar amount of exercise to what I did pre-pregnancy. Put on loads of weight in the third trimester as I was stuck in the house and very miserable. It took 6 months after my baby was born for the pain in my foot to go away.

Currently 35 weeks pregnant with my second child. Now I’m a SAHM with no nursery or other child care and a husband that works away M-F. I have no time to exercise. However I can take my toddler out to the park every day for a small walk as my body is holding up much better than last pregnancy so it’s really a blessing! I’ve put on less weight this time due to being able to move around pain free. And I’m sure I will have an easier recovery, even if I do end up with another C-section as I am starting from a better place. I do understand my body better, I can’t exercise during pregnancy, I need to take it very easy. Understanding that and not blaming my body for it has really helped me.

It's down to allsorts, some of which is luck.

I mean, you are lucky if your baby isn't a velcro baby and you can actually exercise. You are lucky if someone will look after your baby so you can exercise.

Also a lot to do with genetics

I had monstrous hunger whilst breastfeeding and it didn't help me lose weight at all.

I don’t think it’s down to luck. It’s down to factors like age, breastfeeding… and effort.

My core muscles were ruined by 2 c sections. I have done a lot of hard work (yes, hard work) strengthening them. Started doing Pelvic Tilts a few weeks postpartum. Makes a huge difference. Now a year+ later doing crunches and ab exercises in the gym. I don’t think it’s about “privilege” to go to the gym. Anyone can lie in bed or on the floor and do Pelvic Tilts. Or do yoga/pilates/HIIT youtube videos at home.