To think that some parents like to label their children as dyslexic/dyscalculic/dyspraxic or as kinaesthetic learners....

[MrsSchadenfreude]

...rather than accept the fact that their child might not be particularly bright/academic, and by so doing this detracts from children who genuinely are eg dyslexic?

Einstein would have been described as 'thick'in all probability as he didn't do well in school.

And by prestige I do not mean that you all enjoy having DC with SEN. What I mean is that, for example, a child who does badly academically may get less grief from teachers/relatives/ whoever if that is down to dyslexia, than if it can't be labelled as anything in particular, and if they have dyslexia they may in fact encounter more positive attitudes (even if erroneous) such as the belief that they must be very bright. So it wouldn't be that surprising if some parents quite like the sound of it even if their child doesn't have it.

TC - And I thought all my Christmases had come at once when I found out that I had a second child with ASD. Want to go halves on some champagne?

Believe me snowleopard, children with dyslexia can get plenty of grief form teachers. Usually because the LEA refuses to use the term dyslexia and labels them as having SpLD.

Maybe we all should throw a party eh?

I actually had a mum of one of dd's friends tell me i was so lucky that ds has sn and a statement as it meant I could get him into the school of my choice Some people really have no clue at all

I agree with Snowleopard's last post.

i think most parents have genuine concerns for there dc but the parents of dc who are excelling in school probably do the yeah but i bet she is just saying that as her dc isnt very bright

many dc can go undiagnosed for along time and the parent would no best as to what there dc is or isnt and why lie they may just speak up as they know there is something

why judge? what does it matter to you

dc are bright they are lovely judge the dc on who they are and not what they can do as i would hate for someone to label my ds as not bright as he is struggling

when they dont see what he can do it just becomes apparent what they cant do

it makes me so to think someone would call my ds thick

i would rather my ds struggle and excel in his own areas than grow up with a ugly attitude and judge others on what they cant do

Yes, but what you parents with DC with SEN are all talking about is the reality of the matter, when your DC actually does have the condition and you have to deal with all the difficulties that entails and of course it is bloody hard work.

But what the OP talked about was people whose children don't actually have SEN. Therefore, they know nothing about the reality of it, but from the outside, they see that if a child has dyslexia, they get special attention and also any stigma associated with not doing as well academically tends to be greatly reduced. Therefore they may want to label their child as dyslexic - whether disingenuously or out of real belief. It may make them feel better. Doesn't that make sense?

Surely parents would only use these labels once their children have been professionally assessed and statemented?

Do you know anything about dyslexia MrsSchaden? You'd only get statemented as dyslexic if there is a significant discrepancy between your I.Q and verbal intelligence and your reading/writing/spelling etc. If reading levels are at the same level as general intelligence then you won't get labelled as dyslexic.

If people use these labels for their kids without being assessed, then yes, they are just using them as an excuse, but surely that is a rare occurance?

Upwind of course there is a gradient of severity with dyslexia, like with most things! There are still very specific criteria that need to be made in order for a dyslexic diagnosis to be made.

My point is that other people don't necessarily know whether that child has a disability or not. I'm sure there are parents at ds school who think he is just a naughty boy and I am looking for excuses for his behaviour and who think its unfair that i can choose his school.

Oh and YANBU to think what you think. So what? It doesn't make any difference does it? You go ahead and judge others, you'll never know whether the diagnosis is correct or not for that cihld, but why even bother thinking about it? Surely there are better things to think about.

It is very hard to get your child statemented-ask any professional within SN and they will tell you the battles that parents have getting the help and support that these children need.

I don't know ANYONE whos got a statement when the child hasn't needed it but I know ALOT of children who haven't got the statement they deserve.

I think most children who 'arent very bright' usually do have some sort of special educational need tbh or lack of support at home

Snowlepoard, trust me, there is nothing prestigious about having a child with a label of dyspraxia (can't speak about the other conditions). Just sheer bloody hard work for both me and DD. Thank goodness for the many health professionals who have helped her get to where she is now.

I'm very confident that DD would swap the prestige of her diagnosis for being not very whatever it was mentioned lower down the thread. It would have spared her many bumps, bruises and general heart ache about a number of things. For me as well.

You really might want to apologise for your use of prestige on this thread. I do hear what you are saying about some parents, but trust those who have been there, a diagnosis is not prestigious in any way shape or form. If some people think it is then they are seriously warped individuals and I despair of the human race.

by that I mean that a child who is obviously falling well behind the standard set by their classmates

I agree with Dustystar. If you met my two boys you wouldn't necessarily realise that they have SN. There are parents who have known ds1 since he was in Reception who still haven't spotted that he's not NT.

I don't think Mrs S was judging, if that's who you're talking to. Just raising a valid point, that some parents may label their own children with SEN. And I think that does matter, because it greatly clouds the issue for children who really do have them, and also it raises a lot of questions about our society and why some people may see it as better to have a label than to just be part of a normal range of ability.

snowleopard I agree, it may make some parents feel better to label their child, so there is an excuse for the behaviour, but no school is going to take a prent's word for sometihng like that and go ahead with the label without assessing the child themselves, so it can't be much of a comfort really can it? They can't very well keep saying "oh but little Johnny is dyslexic" when they know he bloody well isn't, can they?

I guess what I'm trying to say is that I doubt very many parents actually do go around giving their kids these kinds of labels if they aren't genuine. Unless they are completely delusional of course or know they are blatantly lying.

Agree totally with poshwellies too.

Oh and I'm dyslexic. It is not fun and not an excuse.

I do think that, sometimes, a label can be unhelpful if there isn't any proper support in place, or if there isn't a clear idea of the goal in mind.
e.g. sometimes incidents are, ime, labelled as bullying when they are just normal playground behaviour.
then someone is labelled as the bully and someone as the victim for no real reason.
I think it makes more sense in most cases to concentrate on the need or the behaviour rather than focus on the label, which is usually not an exact science in any event.
if someone is identified as dyslexic, then it isn;t the case that there is a package of measures that will help in every case. better in many cases to focus on the learning support needed rather than chasing an elusive diagnosis.
ime. and imo.

Where are these parents who label their children with a SEN when they are just children who aren't academically minded?

I'm yet to meet one!

OK chocolateteapot, I do apologise for the use of the word "prestige". I did not mean it in the way that it has been taken and I tried carefully to explain that - but I see that you think I mean it's great having a child with SEN. I really don't. I simply meant that from the outside, it may look to someone with a normal, not very academic child that an SEN label confers certain advantages - even though that may or may not actually be true. That is probably the way I should have described it. Sorry again.