To think that some parents like to label their children as dyslexic/dyscalculic/dyspraxic or as kinaesthetic learners....

[MrsSchadenfreude]

...rather than accept the fact that their child might not be particularly bright/academic, and by so doing this detracts from children who genuinely are eg dyslexic?

Well said drowninginlaundry
I also think a lot of poster here are under a mistaken assumption that schools get lots of extra money and staff for "mis labelling" children as having SEN. Schools only get extra money if a child is awarded a statement which is a difficult /lengthy process.In my school the only children with statements have CP and the amount of money awarded with their statements is only a fraction of what it really costs to meet their actual needs.

I agree to an extent with the OP, but I don't think it is unique to dyslexia etc.

I think that there will always those who use the system to their advantage, like the person who has stiff joints sometimes claiming to have arthritis.

I remembered reading about Fred Epstein in the Readers' Digest as a child - he was profoundly dyslexic, but became one of the world's most outstanding paediatric neurosurgeons, operating when others refused for fear of killing a child. He was amazing. An inspiration to the world.

20% of the kids in the school I work in are on the SEN regester. And you rightly say we only get money for those who are statemented. Of the 240 a year intake, we seldom get more than one or two who have a statement and come with money in year 7.

In general these children have such profound SEN that is previous years they would have gone into a special school (an example would be a boy with ADHD/EBD who could not read or write, count or recognise the difference between a circle and a square)

Over the year we tend to increase the numebers of childrebn with a statement, but it is never more than a handful in each year

lou - that analogy doesn't work in this context, it really doesn't. What makes you think that parents would 'use the system to their advantage' - and what does this mean? If by 'using the system' you mean parents trying to ensure that their child receives an education that is his/her right, then I suppose it is 'using the system'.

Most children with dyslexia/dyspraxia/dyscalculia are on School Action or School Action+. This probably entitles them to an Individual Education Plan, where they have objectives, and some ideas how they can be helped to reach these objectives. That's it. On SA+ an Ed Psych might visit once a year and write an A4 sheet with some advice, which may or may not be used. Somehow I fail to see how all this 'extra support' and funding and attention is to the detriment of all your non-SEN children...

No parent wants to label their child with any of these terms, and there does seem to be this idea out there that if you are lucky enough to get a statement, everything is laid out for you.

It couldn't be further from the truth.

DS2 is 20 months old, and we have started thinking about getting him a statement (this is not the place to get into his needs). I know it is going to be a long, hard process, and I hate the thought of what we are all going to have to go through to help get the help he is going to need, and that which he is legally entitled to.

I would love for it to be as seeing as it's all been for DS1 so far, straight into an NT nursery, and in September into Reception.

Some of you out there just have no idea.

I haven't read the whole thread, but thought I'd put my twopennies worth in. I was never diagnosed as dyslexic, when I was at primary my mother was told I would be lucky to get a couple of GCSE's thankfully I had some great teachers after that who recognised that dispite my rubbish writing, day-dreaming, awful spelling and generally taking an awful long time to get anything done I wasn't completely useless, I got an A in one of my Alevels and a 2:1 at uni (wish the free laptops etc were available in my day ss).
I am now working in special needs ed (well start in sept) and the dyslexic ass. says that about 2% of people are diagnosed dyslexic they think that the actual figure is 10% there is good reason to believe that girls are often not diagnosed. With intervention there is a lot we can now do to help dyslexics improve literacy skills and better access the curriculm. In my day many LEA's refused to acknowledge dyslexia existed, now it is recognised and schools have a legal responsiblity to provide support. The issue of support for children with SpLD rather than Global LD is very contentious, funding is limited and SpLD kids will get help ahead of global learning difficulties children because more can be achieved with SpLD intervention. 80% of the prison population have dyslexia, 20% of UK millionaires have dyslexia.

good point wonderstuff.

Back in the 1960's, the prevalent theory for the cause of autism was 'refridgerator mothers' - failed attachment. Today this sounds ridiculous, doesn't it? My MIL didn't believe that DS1 had autism, but thought that he 'just needed a bit of discipline' and that 'he would learn to speak if he was read more books'. Similarly, this attitude that 'parents are just making up SEN to take advantage of the system' is something that I would have expected to hear from my 67 year old MIL, not from my peers, considering how much research has advanced our understanding of brain function and child development.

Each child is unique and deserves an education that is appropriate for him/her. Just because there is inadequate provision available, doesn't mean that these needs do not exist.

I have a friend who is almost certainly on the autistic spectrum.

His mother took him to see the GP many times and was told to 'Take him away and try harder'

He now has 3 boys, all on the spectrum (all formally dxed), one is non verbal. they get help, but only because he fund it himself (lives outside the UK)

What?!???? For a start they're not even linked?!!

My brother was dyslexia and he ended up doing applied maths and theoretical physics.

I think you're just 30 yrs out of date and I'm being polite to you.

VVV glad you didn't think I was having a go at you or anyone in your situation.

And yes, I personally do not have much experience with teh SN system...I do know though that, if a school is to get any financial help than it is only when a statement is in place...but teh people that I am talking about don't necessarily get the idea from school, they get that idea of their friends...i.e. oh, he/she is hyper you should go see a Doctor about it...your child has behaviour probs....it is a culture more then anyhting.
Of course I personally do NOT believe that having a child with SN is a walk in the park...and I really do NOT know what would give anyone the impression I did...if I did....I possibly would have have taken ds2 to teh Docotr and spouted the Hyperactive, blablabla line....who knows...so many people told me when he was around 3 hemust have behaviourial problems...(like I said, I just felt he was a typical, if very active, Boy, that is all)....!

Btw... the people that I am talking about here are not the parnets of little "Tarquin" , but the parents of little Waynetta Slob the 3rd that gets told" don't you fucking swear at me you little cunt" and the likes on a daily parents by her less then doting parents....(not saying that some Waynetta Slobs not really have problems, just that, in those cases parenting skills kinda seem to lack, sorry).

In my opinion SN children/adults should be getting far more rescources, and it is not fair that parents with sn children or SN adults have to fight as hard as they have to to get anything that might just help them having a better/easier life....it is a shame that that is how it is.
However, from what I see here where I live, children seem to be labeled to easily, and that should not happen neither.

I know, I am not saying this very well.

My dd has dyslexia, she's been diagnosed as dyslexic by an education psychologist.

However her teacher did not think she was dyslexic. Luckily we had the money to pay privately to get her tested.

If we hadn't had the money I imagine I'd have been having a few "conversations" with the teacher telling her that she didn't know what she was doing. She blatently didn't.

DD however has no statement and so far no extra help or support at school. I however am helping her at home and we're paying for private tuition. She is definetly responding better to different methods of learning so I'm glad that we got the diagnosis. She is "very intelligent" apparantly so I knew that we just needed to find ways of helping her learn. Without this diagnosis I probably would just have thought ok she's not academic. I'd never have thought she wasn't bright as its obvious she is. Yes I know I'm biased but she is,

I have a friend with cancer who has ahd to return to work to fund her dd's help sadly - that's how ahrd it can be!

Dh is going to be asessed for dyslexia; he fits te teacheer dad below, and id re-entering education- assessment is and should be open to all. There's nowt wrong with taking waynetta to the gp is she is hyper- that's how you find out if there is anything wrong or not.

BTW fwiw as an aside, 'waynetta' type parents (rather judgemental.... can I saying struggling instead thabks) are more liekly ime and imo to have a Sn child as sn often has a genetic factor and therefore can be linked to aprents low attainment / parenting skills

drowninginlaundry - I suppose I am drawing the analogy from an adult context, but I went to Uni with a woman who was dyslexic, and she was able to have a Laptop Computer, which became hers at the end of the course, 'learning support', which I know she used to have large portions of her essay re-written for her (we were good friends, and she told me freely, showing me her drafts). She was given money for books so that she didn't have to share in the library. I could go on.

I don't dispute her dyslexia, and I don't belittle her achievement. But, to have your essay rewritten by the very lecturer who is going to mark it, is going a bit far down the line, IMO. Dyslexia is surely about organisation and structure, not content.

Referring back to Fred Epstein, he was so profoundly dyslexic that he could only write essays by dictating them for a scribe. But the content was all his. That is using the system for it's intended purpose, to overcome the barrier the dyslexia imposed on him.

My friend used the system to have her intellectual ideas improved, which is not the same thing. The editing done for her was not about grammar, paragraph order, sentence construction and the like, it was content editing.

So, from my experience, I can see how the OP feels that sometimes children are labelled to get a more favourable outcome.

yep, at our Uni dyslexics suddenly presented for dx after realising that our genuinely dyslexic friend got a free PC, £700 a year learning allowance extra and 20% exra essay time

really may have been coincidence but you do after the 6th or 7th person oout of 20 goes down that road (none were assessed by anyone bara Uni tutor)

well, I kow it can be an issue...but, like I said, but the children I have in mind right now....well...all they want is love and attention...and no not all struggling families starve their children of this....I know many that are fantastic parents despite everything, but the ones I am htinking off right now...sadly not teh case....

As the mother of a very dyspraxic child who probably has dyslexia and dysgraphia just like her dad - who has all three - who the fuck would want to get their child labelled as such?

How fucking idiotic!

How do they go about convincing people that that's really what's going on with its being genuine?

Geezus, our lives right now are an endless round of SALT, PT, OT, paed assessments and the like.

Do people have any idea how much harder life is for children like this, and for their parents?

WTF?

Today's highlight's included the transport request for DD1 to get a bus to her SEN nursery - ed psych had to get special funding for this as DD1 is 5 - with 'Retained at Stage' all over it.

How fun! Everyone else is going to school and my daughter's going back to nursery. Not that she's bothered. I'll admit she's not the brightest light in the harbour and that's maybe not a bad thing, it never did me any good.

Then there was physio after my midwife appointment.

Cool! More exercises we have to disguise as games for her. She has the low muscle tone of most dyspraxics adn it hinders her balance and coordination.

Oh, and our nappies came in, too. Yes, she's 5 and her brain just does not get potty-training yet.

Would I rather she were just a duffer?

You'd better fucking believe it!

oh, and sorry if I caused offence about "Waynetta Type" parents...but I felt that that would give people a better idea of what kind of person I was talking about...like I said, I have many friends who are struggling but truely try their hardest to do a good job and probably are better parents then I could ever be....so, struggling isn't the only issue....
however, I htink I am digging myself a deep hole here.

I'm really shocked that people would try to get a diagnosis like this.

I find it really saddening and insulting.

DD1's condition breaks my heart.

I'd trade all the laptops and free uni books (as if she's going to go to uni!) in the world for her to not have this.

But expat, children like your daughter are not being described here. The OP is talking about parents who refuse to accept that their child just isn't the most intelligent child in the world, so is looking for a label to justify their lack of academic skill.

The average IQ is 100. To get that, there must be people above and below 100 on the IQ scale. Nobody would try to argue that all children with a below average IQ are dyslexic.

ah expat remember- the uni age ones are out for themselves- the parents I agree with you, I suspect that some 18 yr olds just see the cash?

Oh goodness no fio, didn't think it was for a mnute! Think most people know enough about ds1's behaviour now !

DS2 ok, seems to be 'just' severe bruising on the penis

I feel a bit uncomfortable with the posts that imply that of course if you have a dx it is ok, but if it's only a parent saying it, then obviously they're only out for the money.

The support group that dd and I belong to recently did a survey of its members to find out how long it had taken to get a diagnosis after the problems had started. In, I think 78% of the members surveyed it had taken over 2 years, but there was a sizeable proportion who had had to wait more than 10 years for a diagnosis.

So what were their Mums during those 10 years? Liars? And did they suddenly turn truthful after diagnosis.

Dd's is not a diagnosis that is in any way difficult to make, nor is the condition itself in dispute. But even diagnosis, more often than not, takes years. And then it took another 4 years before we received any help.

Our friends had to fight for years to get their daughter diagnosed with Aspergers.

And what about all those children, who do have severe problems, but whose symptoms don't fit any particular syndrome?

There is an organisation out there called SWAN - Syndromes Without A Name, and these are the kids who are REALLY left behind. Because they don't have a label, they don't get DLA, they don't get the educational help, their parents get accused of not caring, or of being "bad" parents, just because they can't be shoved into a particular pigeon hole.

In those circumstances, I can understand a parent wanting a "label".

We were told by our Child Development Team that 50% of their children never get a diagnosis....