So I have two step children and they live a fairly privileged life. Neither house is desperately short of money but over the years we have had more disposable money than their mums household and vis-versa. Peaks and troughs of life I suppose. Currently it is the other way around.
We have bought whatever they need and due to 50:50 we have tired to make sure they have everything they need here so they don’t end up dragging stuff from one house to another - this is a view not shared by mum who seems to delight in packing them suitcases for every stretch they have with us coupled with written letters of how much she misses them. Suitcases are barely opened and we have never mentioned them but pop them up next to their beds in their room.
However I am so sick of things we buy ending up at mums house never to return. Clothes, books, shoes, toys you name it. If clothes are worn from mums I wash them and pop them in their bag ready for return. If I find toys I quietly pop them back in the bag. No song and dance but I feel if it’s her money spent they should ‘live’ there and not be left here. Clothes is the worst as we have younger children, these could be worn again, but no they disappear never to be seen unless a massive argument is had between SC mum and dad then a bag comes back. We don’t wish to make it hard but if we have bought five pairs of trousers and only have one here how on earth is that fair! What’s worse is I’ve seen their mums younger child wearing clothes we have bought - not once but regularly. We don’t have money to be throwing away at the moment.
How do people deal with this as it really grates on us beyond ranting about it to each other when kids have gone to bed.