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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

It's that time of year again......light on, curtains open....AIBU?

58 replies

PyongyangKipperbang · 27/10/2023 21:55

to think that if you put your indoor lights on and leave your curtains open, you are actively saying "I do not mind if you look into my house", most especially if your house is straight onto the street as most around me are.

My mother says that its rude to look, which is bollocks by the way as she loves a right old nose, but she thinks she is being subtle. Whereas my sister is more like me, its fair game if you dont shut your curtains and we are both shameless with our gawping.

If they didnt want me having a good old nose, they'd shut the blinds, right?!

OP posts:
Isseywith3witchycats · 27/10/2023 22:02

we live in a house with a north facing garden so it shades quite early in the afternoon so my light is on before it gets fully dark but dont close the curtains till suns gone down but if anyone walking past my house nosy through the window dont bother me i do it if we are in the car and have a quick nosey at houses where they have lights on and curtains open

Chypre · 27/10/2023 22:02

After 7 years living in the Netherlands and 5 more in the Uk... I still don't even have the curtains. If you're looking that's your problem, not mine 😂I do have blackout blinds in all the bedrooms but can't be arsed with installing poles/blinds on the ground floor. To be fair, we're living in the coastal area but not directly by the beach, so no one goes past the house apart from local dog walkers and joggers.

Lorelaigilmore88 · 27/10/2023 22:03

Well I wouldn't stare if there were sat in their living rooms watching tv, but yes presumably they don't care if they're on display. I glanced in a few houses whilst walking down my street this evening... Next door but one has a gorgeous dark green velvet settee that I secretly covet :)

Busephalus · 27/10/2023 22:05

Oh I look, close your curtains otherwise

Almostateeagersmum2023 · 27/10/2023 22:07

Love looking in other people’s houses, love it when it’s all lamps and cosy.

curtaintwitcher78 · 27/10/2023 22:07

Love this time of year. It's like Celebrity Squares.

takealettermsjones · 27/10/2023 22:07

Well it depends. Are you having a quick sken while walking past, or are you up at the window with your nose to the glass? 😆

unvillage · 27/10/2023 22:08

Makes me feel Christmassy to look into someone's warm lit living room. Pull the curtains if you don't want people to see inside!

Iamonetoo · 27/10/2023 22:08

No way I'd leave my curtains open but do love looking in other people's houses!

Sodullincomparison · 27/10/2023 22:15

We have no curtains and all glass on one side. Our neighbours all actively look in and wave especially to the kitchen. And then they all have blind firmly shut.

we love rurally now I we used to live in the city centre and DH would often be waving at people peering in.

I love a quick peek as you walk passed and I also love spotting DH and DD pottering about before I go in.

Muchtoomuchtodo · 27/10/2023 22:16

It was the only good thing about doing couch25k a couple of years ago - having a nose in the front rooms who hadn’t closed their curtains 🤣

CyberCritical · 27/10/2023 22:18

This is why I have cafe rods with voiles on the bottom half of all my front windows, that way I can have the curtains open, still have light coming in but not be overlooked.

Original poster
PyongyangKipperbang · 27/10/2023 22:32

CyberCritical · 27/10/2023 22:18

This is why I have cafe rods with voiles on the bottom half of all my front windows, that way I can have the curtains open, still have light coming in but not be overlooked.

But do you leave the lights on and your "big" curtains open?

OP posts:
Barbiegirl2013 · 27/10/2023 22:34

The best part about walking the dog at this time of year is getting a nosey in the neighbours living rooms! I am shameless 😂😂

Original poster
PyongyangKipperbang · 27/10/2023 22:36

This was years ago now, but in the cottage round the corner they always left their curtains open. I used to walk past on a Monday night on my way to a group I was part of. And occasionally I would notice the man of the house sitting on the sofa, watching porn. I knew this because the sofa was directly infront of the window so as I did my usual nosey, there would be the back of his head and the laptop screen with a lady receiving her delivery from the pizza guy or whatever. It was always when his wife's car wasnt there so obviously he was having a bit of "me" time.

Then randomly the curtains would be closed, I never did find out whether someone told him or.....as I suspect, he got a load of teenagers banging on the window or similar!

OP posts:
Original poster
PyongyangKipperbang · 27/10/2023 22:39

takealettermsjones · 27/10/2023 22:07

Well it depends. Are you having a quick sken while walking past, or are you up at the window with your nose to the glass? 😆

I see nothing wrong with pointing out that if they got a nice rug it would bring the room together.......Grin

OP posts:
okthenwhat · 27/10/2023 22:41

I'm going to add my view that yeah I do love a good nosey, but I do feel it's also rude and try not to get caught.

YY to walking the dog being a chance to have a good old nose although my dog gets in the habit of always going to the loo in the same place and I deliberately don't look in that house because then they'd probably think I'm a stalker.

Chumpfriend · 27/10/2023 22:41

Chypre · 27/10/2023 22:02

After 7 years living in the Netherlands and 5 more in the Uk... I still don't even have the curtains. If you're looking that's your problem, not mine 😂I do have blackout blinds in all the bedrooms but can't be arsed with installing poles/blinds on the ground floor. To be fair, we're living in the coastal area but not directly by the beach, so no one goes past the house apart from local dog walkers and joggers.

Was just about ask if you were Dutch. Exactly how it works. No curtains, but rude to look in. 😂

okthenwhat · 27/10/2023 22:44

I have to add, we've just moved and have a big bay window in the front. We still have loads of piles of DVDs and books piled loads of stuff on the windowsill while unpacking.

I caught a woman having a right nosey and looking mildly aghast at the mess. 😱😅Fortunately she didn't see me otherwise she'd have been mortified, no doubt.

So, I look my neighbours windows and clearly they look in mine.

tortoiseshellcats · 27/10/2023 22:44

I love seeing everyone's Christmas decorations - especially when the bus is stuck in traffic and you can see into an entire block of flats!

Mumoftwotoddlers · 27/10/2023 22:45

Apparently everyone in my local area is part of the lights on, curtains open group, many of them also have ridiculously huge televisions either directly in front of the window so you see the back of it, or on the opposite wall so you can see what they're watching as you walk by, almost like watching Gogglebox but live.

There's a house opposite my work that I'm pretty sure they don't even have curtains, just massive windows and seemingly every light on in the house 24/7

Norugratsatall · 27/10/2023 22:47

This was my favourite part of the day during lockdown. I used to go for dusk walks so I could peer into people's costly lit front rooms. Always discreetly of course but it did make me feel less isolated and felt somehow comforting.

Alittlenonsensenowandthen · 27/10/2023 22:49

I'm exactly the same! I shut my own though as soon as it's dus

Ellie1015 · 27/10/2023 22:49

It is like a spotlight, almost impossible not to look.

LivingNextDoorToNorma · 27/10/2023 22:51

This thread has reminded me of when my step-mum’s sister visited when I was teenager. She came in furious, because one of the neighbours had caught her looking in, and waved at her. Apparently her looking in was to be expected, but the homeowner acknowledging it was the height of bad manners!