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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

It's that time of year again......light on, curtains open....AIBU?

58 replies

PyongyangKipperbang · 27/10/2023 21:55

to think that if you put your indoor lights on and leave your curtains open, you are actively saying "I do not mind if you look into my house", most especially if your house is straight onto the street as most around me are.

My mother says that its rude to look, which is bollocks by the way as she loves a right old nose, but she thinks she is being subtle. Whereas my sister is more like me, its fair game if you dont shut your curtains and we are both shameless with our gawping.

If they didnt want me having a good old nose, they'd shut the blinds, right?!

OP posts:
RallyRallyAppreciateIt · 27/10/2023 22:54

CyberCritical · 27/10/2023 22:18

This is why I have cafe rods with voiles on the bottom half of all my front windows, that way I can have the curtains open, still have light coming in but not be overlooked.

But if you put the light on people can see in!

Theres a new build near us that has the front wall floor to roof glass. You can see the hall, stairs, landing & all the bedroom doors. It’s on a busy road. I’d hate to be crossing the landing in my scruffy ‘lounge wear’ to go to the bathroom having the whole street see me. They clearly don’t mind people looking as the house is lit up like a light house all year round.

Chypre · 27/10/2023 22:55

@Chumpfriend no I don't think its rude, it's more like "look at your own risk". Are we watching porn or plucking chickens or having a nice candle lit dinner - who knows...

OlderwiderpodcastFan · 27/10/2023 22:56

PyongyangKipperbang · 27/10/2023 22:39

I see nothing wrong with pointing out that if they got a nice rug it would bring the room together.......Grin

Show quote history

Made me proper laugh 😂

Lokipokey1 · 27/10/2023 22:57

I love it when you are coming home from work on a miserable night and seeing into everyone’s brightly lit windows and looking at all the little domestic things that are happening. Some mundane tasks, at their essential, haven’t changed in millennia (making tea, putting children to bed etc.) which is a lovely thought.

Devilsmommy · 27/10/2023 23:02

LivingNextDoorToNorma · 27/10/2023 22:51

This thread has reminded me of when my step-mum’s sister visited when I was teenager. She came in furious, because one of the neighbours had caught her looking in, and waved at her. Apparently her looking in was to be expected, but the homeowner acknowledging it was the height of bad manners!

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

truetruebarneymcgrew · 27/10/2023 23:03

I don't draw the curtains but I'm so getting me some skin tone arse crack leggings, I knew it wasn't just a fashion fad, that'll be a lovely sight for any window to nose souls!

Sodullincomparison · 27/10/2023 23:05

Not sure any voile or curtains are working for our house.

It's that time of year again......light on, curtains open....AIBU?
FiddleLeaf · 27/10/2023 23:06

Me too! I love seeing people putting the tree up or just watching telly together… and the interior decor!

I’m introverted though and have neat blinds that let light in but not eyes 😄

MindIfISlytherin · 27/10/2023 23:07

Sometimes I watch our neighbour's telly through the window when I'm washing up 😬

Fuckthebucket · 27/10/2023 23:08

Introduce her to the Rightmove app and she can snoop around other people’s houses until her heart’s content.

Feartraining · 27/10/2023 23:10

I do love looking in windows, but curtains should be shut at dusk to keep the heat in.

DiscoBeat · 27/10/2023 23:12

We draw the curtains even though no one is able to see in, because it's cosy. But if they could see in I'd be absolutely sure to shut them!
But that said, when we walk the dog to the local pub we pass a few houses with lights on I make sure not to look in (even though I'd probably love to have a good nose!)

Portakalkedi · 27/10/2023 23:12

I can't bear the thought of passersby nosying through my windows, and blinds are always closed before lights on!

BaronessBomburst · 27/10/2023 23:13

@Chypre @Chumpfriend
I live in the Netherlands in the only house in the village with net curtains. Grin
As for looking at your own risk; carnival can be interesting.......

hennybeans · 27/10/2023 23:15

I love walking the dog after dinner at this time of the year. I’m subtle, but I definitely look in all the windows as I walk past.

MrsMoastyToasty · 27/10/2023 23:15

We live in a street of 1930s semis. 2 households are of the no curtains camp. In one household I can see what they are watching on TV from my own house. The other house has had a lift conversion with the old boxroom becoming the landing for the stairs to the top storey They have no curtains there either. I can see when their kids go into their bedrooms at night

I also wonder what their gas bills are like...
..

TMess · 27/10/2023 23:16

It’s the best part of this time of year actually. You can’t look into my windows unless you take a rather long hike through the forest first so I’m not reciprocating but I’m glad to nose at others. 🙈

Caswallonthefox · 27/10/2023 23:19

I'd be extremely worried if someone could look into my windows. Mainly because I live above a shop 😄.
Otherwise my curtains are shut when its dusk because 'I' can't see fuck all.

Original poster
PyongyangKipperbang · 27/10/2023 23:20

Portakalkedi · 27/10/2023 23:12

I can't bear the thought of passersby nosying through my windows, and blinds are always closed before lights on!

DD and I usually do the "curtains and lights". DS was home early and he said he would help and turned the lights on BEFORE the curtains were closed. DD was as horrified as I was! Always curtains first!

OP posts:
TheChosenTwo · 27/10/2023 23:20

We have shutters not curtains but I leave them open and have lamps on until it’s properly dark and then usually close the shutters but I’m not in the least bit bothered about anyone looking in.

TheChosenTwo · 27/10/2023 23:27

And I was out walking the other night and walked past a house where their front window was the kitchen window, it was quite a small kitchen and there was a whole family all sat/stood around the edges and two women cooking, everyone was stood about, kids, babes in arms, older grandparent types, middle aged, all jostling for space but they all looked so vibrant and happy, it was a really tiny kitchen and it struck me how cosy and joyous they looked. I actually contemplated doing a loop and walking back past just to see it again 😂😂 obviously I didn’t as they would make me a nutter! Just a tiny snapshot but it looked so cosy and happy.

lavenderlou · 27/10/2023 23:28

I love getting a glimpse through people's windows at this time of year. It's a form of people watching - I like a glimpse into others' lives. My favourite time is a late afternoon walk on Chrkstmas day and you can see how people are celebrating. I just take a glance and don't stare in but I don't pointedly stop myself from seeing anything. I don't mind if people look into my house but DH always closes the curtains early.

Catsmere · 27/10/2023 23:29

Is this a real thing in Britain? I always thought it was a weird Midsomer Murders thing. 😆

negomi90 · 27/10/2023 23:34

I work out to youtube dance videos in my living room every night in my underwear. Curtains are always open because I'm too lazy to shut them.
But I'm in a first floor flat, opposite is at angle to me, so they can probably see in but not obviously.

longtompot · 27/10/2023 23:35

I love late evening dog walks having a little nosey, discreetly, through lit windows, especially as Christmas gets closer. I like to keep our curtains slightly open, so others can have a peek if they like. I know I love to see our living room with the side lights on, wood burner lit at tealights and candles burning. It look really cosy☺️

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