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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

School certificates. Aibu?

66 replies

Glorie · 27/10/2023 20:06

Aibu to feel like this? My DD is in reception and every Friday 3 children receive a certificate. Everyone had received one throughout this term and my DD and 2 others were today. Aibu to feel like they got one because they were last on the list. As in, the others in previous weeks were genuinely chosen and the last 3 were not because there was no others IFYSWIM. Just feel bad for DD as she’s tried so hard and has come on a lot in the 6 weeks since starting.

OP posts:
blackbirdsinginginthenight · 27/10/2023 20:06

She would not think like that, surely, so why feel sad for her? Celebrate her success and make her feel special.

takealettermsjones · 27/10/2023 20:07

Teachers really cannot win eh 😅

ElevenSeven · 27/10/2023 20:07

So she got a certificate like everyone else? Some parents are never happy.

These things are all the same; everyone gets a turn. Someone has to be first/last.

You’ve got a lot ahead of you in the school years and you’re going to find it hard if you find this upsetting.

35965a · 27/10/2023 20:09

Who cares? She got a certificate, it doesn’t matter why. I’m sure it made her feel good either way.

Prinnny · 27/10/2023 20:10

You feel ‘so bad’ because your child got a certificate? Okaaaaaaay 🙄

How about just smile and say well done darling and stop projecting your irrational theory on a 4 year old 🙄🙄

VickyEadieofThigh · 27/10/2023 20:12

Yes, they probably DID only get the certificate because it was their turn. Would you rather she didn't get one at all? Because they either all get one at some point - and if they're given out in 3s, three children HAVE to be the last three - or some children don't get one at all.

Which option is your preferred one?

frenchfancy81 · 27/10/2023 20:12

takealettermsjones · 27/10/2023 20:07

Teachers really cannot win eh 😅

Beat me to it!! They only do 3 a week so it takes a while to get through everyone and they are trying to be fair so each kid gets one...

SoSad44 · 27/10/2023 20:13

You are overthinking this, just be happy she got one

Totaly · 27/10/2023 20:15

It’s goes like this ‘who shall we give the certs to this week? DH wants to laminate them. ‘Er what about Sarah and Jane? John’s been good this week or maybe Claire?
Yeah ok .

Theres no big discussion, there’s a list. We pick kids. They get a certificate.

It’s not the big deal parents think it is. The deputy head has been tasked with printing and giving out certificates.

LolaSmiles · 27/10/2023 20:15

I take it if you're complaining about it you think nobody should get certificates? Or is it just that someone else's child should be in the final round?

LambMomo · 27/10/2023 20:18

FFS. You’ve got a loooooong way to go through school yet.

Prisonbreak · 27/10/2023 20:23

Are you joking?

Rycbar · 27/10/2023 20:29

We literally cannot win.
I guarantee you would have complained if she had been the only child not to get one all half term. What exactly would you prefer the teacher to do?

niclw · 27/10/2023 21:03

My DC is in reception too. They got a certificate a few weeks back as teachers can nominate children for the different school values. When I asked why they got it they said because I didn't want to do a painting but I did it anyway. So they didn't actually achieve something they simply did as asked. In reception class they are trying to teach them how to behave in school. I get that my dc needed the lesson that they have to do work when told and the certificate was the reward for following instructions. At the end of the day they are only 4/5 years and have been in school about 7 weeks.

caringcarer · 27/10/2023 21:08

For goodness sake everybody can't be first. Your DD was not left out she got a certificate. Teachers can't win. It seems too many parents think their child should get their certificate first. I remember I received my hand writing pen last in my class and I really didn't care. I was just so happy to progress from a pencil and use an ink pen like other DC.

TinyTom · 27/10/2023 21:10

Oh for pity's sake. We cannot win. We cannot bloody win and we are EXHAUSTED. Shame on you.

Sunshineismyfavourite · 27/10/2023 21:18

I totally agree with many others on here. So do you not want certificates at all? Someone has to be first and last and in the middle. There is always a reason to give a child a certificate so why are you assuming that children who got one first were chosen for a more legitimate reason that your DC? Just trust the process and give the school the benefit of the doubt. There'll be way more important things to get stressed about with your DC through their primary and secondary journey so don't fall at the first hurdle!

igetwhatyoumean · 27/10/2023 21:20

Wow!
Teachers have to consider who will confidently get up to receive the certificate, who is likely to struggle this year and needs an early boost, who could have it every single week, what's the balance of boys/girls/PPG/SEN who have received a certificate so far, who's been in all week, whose parent will complain if they don't get one, did their parent say they were working nights and
can't get to school functions at the k

Jellycats4life · 27/10/2023 21:21

It’s really not that deep.

Just tell your daughter you’re proud of her and leave it at that.

igetwhatyoumean · 27/10/2023 21:22

Sorry, hit send by accident!
Anyway, we are always considering these things.
It's exhausting.
Can't do right.
Happy half- term.

SarahAndQuack · 27/10/2023 21:28

Confused Would it not be worse if they didn't make sure all children got a certificate?

In Reception it's really important children all feel they get a turn. Learning in Reception is meant to be all about play. There is plenty of time for real tests and win-or-lose situations. Realistically, there are enormous differences between children at this age. But most children in mainstream Reception will understand - and notice - if they've missed out on the award. And at that age, they will have been trying and doing their best.

My DD is not long out of Reception and it was perfectly obvious to me that sometimes, she was the recipient of a 'hmm, what can we find to praise?' award - but that's fine.

Just tell your DD how proud you are and make a fuss of her.

TheCompactPussycat · 27/10/2023 21:31

Well, some children were going to have to be the last ones to get a certificate. Because that's how it works to ensure everyone gets a certificate and doesn't feel left out.

PuttingDownRoots · 27/10/2023 21:31

Was your DD proud of her certificate? Thats what matters.

cadburyegg · 27/10/2023 21:39

Jesus wept. If this is what you're worried about 6 weeks into your kid's school life, you're in for a shock.

UsingChangeofName · 27/10/2023 21:43

YABVVVVVU

Apart from anything else, if this is the 6th week, and there are 3 a week, then they will only be up to 18 children, so surely there are still 12 who haven't yet had one ?

As @takealettermsjones says "Teachers really cannot win".

I can't begin to say how unreasonable you are being.