AIBU or Are Humblebrags on the Rise Here?

[Dguu6u]

I've been around these parts for a while, and lately, I can't help but notice something that's been bugging me. Maybe it's just me, or perhaps there's a trend going on here, and I'd love to know if you've picked up on it too.

It seems like there's been a surge in threads where people are airing their money concerns, cost of living issues, and the struggle to make it all work – all while sneaking in these subtle humblebrags about their rather cushy situations. You know, the ones where they casually drop their £100K salaries, or talk about their 5-bedroom house with the 'small rooms', or are able to afford expensive houses, fancy cars, and luxuries, all while saying they expect to have more money left over at the end of the month.

I totally get that financial situations differ from person to person. But it's a bit tough to relate when so many of us are grappling with rising costs, bills piling up, and just trying to make ends meet.

So, I gotta ask: is it just me, or are you seeing more of this too? Is it because I'm noticing it more due to all the current struggles we're facing, or are these type of posts really on the rise here?

Am I being unreasonable in feeling this way? What's your take? 🤔🤷‍♀️🙏

Always been the same. Just scroll past.

It’s always been this way

BUT people in general are really incapable of seeing other situations from theirs. If you have very incremental pay rises it’s easy to expand that income until it seems normal and it can feel tight on whatever salary you’re on. So it’s hard for people to compare actually having 1/5th of their salary cos their outgoings have already crept up to match.

people always have stuff to moan about though don’t they. That’s pretty much what MN is here for 😆

Are people only allowed to post if they earn under a certain amount? Do higher earners not have a right to post about something relatable to them? Each time they see a post about someone struggling I am sure instead of complaining about it they just scroll past.

Its always been the same posters brag about their finances ,children's academic ability ,holidays you name it 😂

Why would they complain about someone earning less than them ? Of course they'd scroll past. Unless they wish to linger and gloat.....

I think you're missing the point.

Yes OP - I get it. When someone is posting saying - I only have £1000 each month after all bills/food/fuel paid for - Is that enough??

I find it incredible how stupid some high earners appear to be - or maybe they are simply boasting?

I've been both sides of things. About 8 years ago couldn't put a meal on the table. Some weeks had £10 left over to decide what food items to buy and how the hell am I going to put petrol in the car. We are now the opposite of this. But I don't post anything about that, ever. But even when I couldn't put a meal on the table it never bothered me when someone did post about having money because (although I was very jealous) I'd appreciate that we are all in different situations.

I meant complaining that it's tough to relate, exactly as OP has said. I'm not missing the point. We are never going to relate to all posts on MN. Some we will, some we won't. Just scroll past the ones we don't relate to it's really simple.

So how much are you allowed to earn or how big can your house be before you're allowed to post without it being called a brag? Go on, give me numbers.

I do hate the posts where someone asks something like ‘can I afford this mortgage’ and it turns out they will have about £5k a month left after bills. I always wonder how they’ve got the where with all to earn that much money without being able to figure out their own finances.

I've just posted about our outgoings which are really high. Things used to be okay and now they aren't. I think a lot more people are struggling - no child benefit, tax brackets havent moved, everything rising in cost. It's proportionate - if you have a slightly bigger house the utilities will have risen accordingly etc

Almost everyone is faced with their money not going as far as it used to, added with increasing costs still on the horizon and a decline in public services they used to be able to rely on without thinking about it. If this is you, then no matter how much you earn, you still may feel anxious about it. Feeling anxious and wanting to share that to speak to your fellow humans is not a brag.

Recognition that many people are worse off than you may give you some perspective, but it won’t cure your anxiety overnight. Nor will it solve whatever day to day issues you face.

I’ve always believed in the rhetoric that well-off people don’t necessarily appreciate that having money gives you choice, and that choice is one of the most valuable things you can have. However, believing that someone with those choices can simply sell their home, move their children from their schools or move away from the areas they are well established them is very naive – those “choices”, be they possible, come with huge ramifications for any family on whatever salary and anyone would be extremely anxious to unwilling face them.

Maybe what we are seeing is that cost of living is so high that even higher earners can no longer make their money last and afford the lifestyle they are used to. I am not a high earner but due to re qualifying and getting a couple of promotions in the last two years my salary is over double what it used to be 5 years ago but I am definitely not in a position to afford more with my money and it is scary. While I am in a better position than a lot of people, it doesn’t take away from my worries.

These are the posts that scream fake to me.

Earning a high salary (so surely some degree of higher education and intelligence) but unable to apply common sense and basic budgeting?

Honestly, I take MN with a large pinch of salt. All these people in high earning jobs have time to post on MN all day? Sure 🙄

Sorry I don't agree as I was saying to my gifted and talented 5yo as we sit in our £6 million pound house there is no such thing as a humblebrag. Now I just need to decide if I'm going to send said genius child to Eton or just straight to Oxford.

I saw that thread! Plus the 'am I falling my children, we can only do 1 proper holiday this year (to Maui of course) the other 3 are only to Monaco, New York and South of France, is this neglect?!!' Humblebraggery (which is probably bollocks!)

I can kind of understand your point - I always try and be careful when discussing money (in person or online!) because I know that people think our household income is a lot and we could never struggle. In my mind, when the financial landscape changes as quickly and severely as it has recently, anyone who's not a multi millionaire will notice, it might not have the same impact on them, but they'll notice. As peoples salaries increase, so does their spending in general, so proportionally (even though £ values differ) there's still increases in bills.

We're classed as "high earners" as a household but also our heating bills have doubled, mortgage has doubled, food shop has jumped wildly, petrol prices are up etc. So we're seeing the same jumps in costs that most people are, so it still has an impact on us. And yes that impact might be that currently we just can't save as much / might reign in spending a bit, rather than having to make tough choices with bills, which we realise is a position we're lucky to be in, but it's still an open online forum for people from all walks of life to come and discuss what's going on with them.

It's like someone on £15k wondering why someone on £30k doesn't have £££ left after bills and spending, because they're imagining the £30k salary with their current £15k commitments, rather than thinking that someone on £30k will have higher commitments (in general) so it's never easy to imagine being in the other position.

I think honestly it’s a reflection of how things are in society - the rich are getting richer, the poor are getting poorer and there’s a lot of inequality. I’m always struck by how many expensive cars there are on the road, how many people are booking expensive days out and holidays, how busy the coffee shops and restaurants are. Different people have a very different ‘normal’ - those who have lots of money have bigger outgoings and different pressures, and are used to their lifestyle. Last year my cousin was passing through where we live and suggested meeting up to visit the local ‘Christmas light trail’ - it would have been £80 for 2 adults and 2 kids, which is what I get paid for nearly a whole day’s work and is our weekly food budget, so I just couldn’t justify it. She’s a high earner and it’s small change - but I imagine she has different financial worries and pressures, as her large outgoings are much more than ours.

I don't know. The recent private school one where posters were claiming that £300k income a year was not enough for private school was quite amusing.

Living in Yorkshire, I was quite shocked when I used a mortgage calculator to find out what mortgages cost per month in London!

I don’t see an increase in it (have also been around a long time) but I’m definitely seeing more obvious bitterness about people who “shouldn’t” be feeling the pinch because of their relatively higher incomes. Everyone can only absorb so much…

we’re on decent incomes, but are very much feeling the rising costs, only last week I was whingeing at dh about the COL because we’re not as well off as we “should” be on our income, but I’m well aware that compared to others, we’re living a very comfortable lifestyle

Bear in mind that a lot of them are indulging in some light feelgood fiction.

From the other side, I currently feel a bit stressed / worried about the fact our family income does not stretch anywhere near what it used to... and my DH is a high earner. But we live in the south East and a huge chunk is going on bills. We're paying an extra £700+ compared to 3 years ago. We don't have a very expensive car or gym memberships or the top tv Package or expensive phones. And I do wonder sometimes where we're going wrong as we just can't save much and I feel that we should be able to. But I see friends and aquaintances paying out for holidays, experiences, attractions multiple times a year who are likely to be earning less than we are... but on the surface they seem unaffected by COL crisis. I'm not going to start a thread about it as obviously we can still afford a reasonably comfortable standard of living but it's not the luxury you might assume it is. And I feel concerned that we are much more squeezed than ever before.

I think people who would usually expect the rise in the cost of living to impact them are also feeling the pinch now, and are shocked by it because it’s the first time they’ve had to make cutbacks, so they’re posting.

I think if you've been brought up in an affluent family, then gone to university (supported by your parents) and then moved into a professional well paying job (potentially with more family support) then it's actually more likely that you have less idea how to budget or how much things cost.

It may be a humble brag but in reality I feel sorry for these people because some of them have got themselves all wrapped up in an expensive lifestyle and the demand of a top job, not seeing their kids, but can afford 2 cars and a £1500 mortgage, cleaner etc etc

Financial freedom is all relative, you’re not financially free if your money is all tied up in the things you need to fund your life that you’re not happy with!!!