AIBU or Are Humblebrags on the Rise Here?

[Dguu6u]

I've been around these parts for a while, and lately, I can't help but notice something that's been bugging me. Maybe it's just me, or perhaps there's a trend going on here, and I'd love to know if you've picked up on it too.

It seems like there's been a surge in threads where people are airing their money concerns, cost of living issues, and the struggle to make it all work – all while sneaking in these subtle humblebrags about their rather cushy situations. You know, the ones where they casually drop their £100K salaries, or talk about their 5-bedroom house with the 'small rooms', or are able to afford expensive houses, fancy cars, and luxuries, all while saying they expect to have more money left over at the end of the month.

I totally get that financial situations differ from person to person. But it's a bit tough to relate when so many of us are grappling with rising costs, bills piling up, and just trying to make ends meet.

So, I gotta ask: is it just me, or are you seeing more of this too? Is it because I'm noticing it more due to all the current struggles we're facing, or are these type of posts really on the rise here?

Am I being unreasonable in feeling this way? What's your take? 🤔🤷‍♀️🙏

When I say feel sorry I don’t mean pity because they are in a bad way or in the same way I feel sorry for those in poverty. I mean sorry that they can’t see the light and have been tricked by society into thinking this will make them happy.

People love to brag. Remember when you could post pictures on your profile page, there was a poster who had a lovely big house with lots of pictures of it. And Remember laqueen, jesus she was a real bragger.

I guess being anonymous makes it too alluring for the braggy.

It's always been like this but I suspect it's either more prevalent, or easier to feel more impacted by the posts, in a tricky economy.

Isn’t it called lifestyle inflation? Earn more = spend more, therefore still don’t have much left at the end of the month. DH and I have been guilty of this over the years.

Ah, the old “rich people aren’t happy” post. Didn’t expect to see it on the first page.

So what's the problem with 'humblebragging' op?

They can if they want

They can post what they like as can you....no law to say it has to be 'relatable' you know!?

Or it does make them happy, even though it wouldn’t work for you?

There’s no one route to happiness, nor to misery 🤷🏻‍♀️

OP - mumsnet is a diverse forum, and has users from every economic circumstance. All can post about issues relevant to their own lives, and those that don’t like a topic/can’t relate to it can choose not to engage. Not every thread about finances has to be about the poorest, and I’m not sure why some seem to think it’s reasonable to demand it is.

My favourite one recently was when one posters could not believe how people could afford to live ANYWHERE on an average income. It just seemed to be such a shock to them.

This is nuts. Money can’t buy you happiness but it can buy you the freedom of not worrying about money.

Nothing new. I'm not sure I quite understand why people ask 'what's your food spend' as it's hardly relevant to one's own situation. Nor the list of costs and ask if it's reasonable.
But I agree I do hate the apologetic manner in which people post why they can afford things. Like 'I know we are privileged and I'm very grateful and we are very careful but should I go on a £10,000 holiday this year...'? I mean we are all adults and recognise people have different incomes. You don't have to apologise for having a high income - and I don't understand the need for the humble brag to online strangers!
Is one 'privileged'? That sounds like the money just dropped from the sky. Choosing a lucrative career - or even the ability to do so - may be the 'privilege'; earning a good salary (and spending it) through the work it entails not so much.

Then again I was told I was bragging because I had a campervan (which I saved up for). I was saying it as it had something to do with what we were discussing. I didn't just post Hey, I've got a campervan everyone.

I do realise a lot of people would not even be impressed about a campervan - sleeping in a van.

This. Mumsnet started with middle class mums in mind it was a small community talking about money work high flying careers Private education was the norm.it grew the demographic is varied now so maybe you notice it more.

Same.

Being a high earner is not something people should have to hide or be ashamed of. But being a high earner and being oblivious to the fact that you are well off (and coming on here to strenuously deny that you're well off) because you're so bad at managing your money isn't going to win you any friends. It just makes people look thick tbh.

There are always the exceptions but I find that the high earners who have been brought up in wealthy families and been given all the financial support and opportunities are those least likely to have any idea about budgeting. They probably do feel hard done when they realise their £100k salary doesn't afford them the same lifestyle they had growing up.

My boss earns several million and has two kids at university in the UK. He pays for their fees and accommodation and gives them an allowance of £2500 a month each and a car. They are planning to become lawyers, probably helped by their dad's contacts. If they ever had to fend for themselves on a trainee solicitor salary of £52k they would have a very nasty shock indeed.

The thing is, being a high earner does not mean you have a comfortable house. It can be that they have the big house, thats in negative equity, all cars on tick or company cars so they dont own them and the bills on their big houses swallow their salaries. So they can't release any cash and they live to their limit, so they do struggle. They are just as likely to struggle as anyone else.

Ive know people at both ends and the person who earns less has more free cash as they are better with money.

And yes of course, some come on to brag, thats ok. Just see it for what it is and move on, there has always been the braggers on here, its nothing new.

Some might come to brag, but others might just like discussing their issues?
yrs, people with more money have more choices, but it really isn’t as easy as selling your 5 bed detached in the south east and moving your kids to the North.
jobs, family, friends, school, support network…

@ShirleyPhallus @notlucreziaborgia
I said SOME in my original post.

Some rich people are happy some aren’t, some poorer people are happy, some aren’t.

I am in the middle, I would be gutted if I couldn’t go abroad for my holidays or buy the clothes I want or eat the food I like BUT I’d also be gutted it I worked 9-7 never saw my child but had a huge house and car and was squeezed even though I earned alot. I appreciate not all rich people are in this circumstance but some are.

I also appreciate some people are really affected by the cost of living, whether they were well off before or poor.

It’s been a difficult time for everyone. Peace and love x

You said that those that think they’re happy are kidding themselves, having been tricked by society. This based on your own individual ideas as to what would make you happy. Why the assumption that people are tricking themselves, rather than finding their happiness in different things to you?

’The rich are secretly miserable when compared with those with less’ is a tired trope based less on actual reality and more so on wishful thinking.

This isn't "struggling" though. It's bad money management, plain and simple. They have options available to them that would reduce their outgoings (e.g. not to take out the expense car lease) and they choose not to exercise those options.

"Struggling" is where people have limited or no options to reduce their outgoings, and are still unable to make ends meet.

Having no money left at the end of the month through choice is not the same as being in that position through necessity. It's amazing how many people don't seem to recognise the difference. You see it all the time on here ("Oh, but we are squeezed and really struggling, because private school fees are so high, and we have an enormous mortgage on our detached house")

A lot of people are in a situation where things they can not longer easily afford things that at one point they could, despite making the same or even more money. Aka struggling to meet their usual costs. No one said there aren’t people that have it worse, that does tend to go without saying (or must a lower earner in the UK have to mention lower earners in third world countries, lest they be accused on not recognising their privilege?). The point is that people are fully entitled to post about their own situations without making a performance of centering X group. Those in or sympathetic with X group are free to ignore the threads they don’t like, and/or make their own.

Of course people are going to be pissed off and frustrated with being in the aforementioned situation of struggling to pay for their normal lifestyle. Despite some being in a better position than others to readjust and cut costs, it’s still a position that they’re not going to enjoy being in. That other people have it worse doesn’t change this. That other people have it worse doesn’t mean they have to shut up and never speak on their own issues.

Like a couple of other posters, I assume a lot on mn is creative fiction

I saw one the other day... "we earn £340k and can't afford to send our only child to private achool" 🤔

I think sometimes people like the opportunity to discuss things like this with other people.

They may not know many other people in the same financial situation as them so can’t talk about that part of their life in the real world, but it is still something they want to talk about.

I saw one the other day... "we earn £340k and can't afford to send our only child to private achool"

There was a post yesterday where she said they earned £200,000 but didn't feel well off, they just saw those as earning less as being poor...the frightening thing is I believe they were being entirely genuine...