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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think I've been given a verbal warning or even shown the door?

275 replies

chatenoire · 26/10/2023 06:36

Hey ladies!

I've told you about this saga before, but I feel like if I read between the lines, I was either given a first verbal warning or kindly shown the door.

My boss told me that she's noticed a complete decline in my performance in the past two months. I however know that yes maybe in August? I noticed things were starting to go south, but looking at emails/calendars it was early September.

Anywho, it was multifactorial but overall my manager gave me a few options:

*That she'll support me to move to another company in case I'm unhappy (I assured her I'm not, but she mentioned it twice).

*That I can move to a different team (she told me to tell her by next week as she'll meet that manager)

*Work on my current role.

She however did ask (twice) to at least do my basic job correctly (help her to help me).

I do feel a bit stuck, but I think it's because they started pointing things at me and not necessarily because I was terrible to begin with. I also think that because my core workload is low, my output is also low, so it's easier to see mistakes.

OP posts:
Original poster
chatenoire · 27/10/2023 11:25

LIZS · 27/10/2023 11:09

Are they aware of your nd? If so they may find it difficult to sack you and want to try to give you the opportunity to make it work hence why they have not formally disciplined you. However if others are having ti redo your work it is clearly not up to standard and while you may think you are being productive, unfortunately you are not. That you feel you are bored, distracted or looking for progression is not important if you are not fulfilling the basic tasks of the job you are paid to do. If other team members are having to compensate and complaining managers will be looking to move you onto other departments.

But the only complaining manager would be my OWN manager as in that she "cleans up" nobody else apart from her has that visibility.

I get her annoyance, I really do, but realistically it has only cost her about 6 hours of her time in the past 6-8 weeks.

Unless there's something she hasn't told me that's the crux of it from our conversations.

Plus no, they don't know about my ND.

Oh and I did ask to formally move to the team of my side gig and they said no.

My side gig is really two separate teams, one I really wanted to move to (they're very insular but did say I was welcome but didn't have the budget) and the other side is the one that my boss agreed to put a good word in for me. I get along with that manager so I'd be happy to approach him too. I was going to a few weeks ago even if half joking.

I don't think I can anymore just in case I annoy my current boss.

OP posts:
Original poster
chatenoire · 27/10/2023 11:27

friendlycat · 27/10/2023 11:15

I'm trying to figure out what role is really suitable for me. - jack of all trades mentality - and I have the very big blocker that I can only take remote jobs. However that's the "buying time" element of this.

But time is ticking here. When did you actually start this job and when is the 2 year period up as this is the crucial thing? What date?

Your manager has told you she needs to know by next week if you want to be transferred to the other team/area. So if you do, realistically you need to tell her this Monday that is your decision. Your "buying time" element is running out here.

I think the goalpost of next week has moved. As we're trying other things at the same time, so it would be premature for me to say, "yes I'm moving".

I'm fairly certain I would do ok in the other team if they take me.

OP posts:
friendlycat · 27/10/2023 11:36

But in your opening post of yesterday your Manager stated you need to tell her next week if you want her to see if you can transfer to another team.

Why do you think the goalpost of next week has changed?

spitefulandbadgrammar · 27/10/2023 11:38

Your boss had to fix 25% of your output! Out of 8 documents, 2 had to be redone by your boss and your boss leading a team. One had a major title error. You’ve forgotten multiple things. You’ve dismissed the errors as “maybe colleagues could do it” instead of taking on board the problem, and repeatedly focussed on things that aren’t your role. It doesn’t matter if you’ve brought in £35k of sales elsewhere when there are already people in the company to generate sales, because that £35k came at the expense of doing those 8 documents correctly. Your boss is asking if you think you can focus on your documents and get 8/8 right, or join the other team and not do documents anymore.

Scirocco · 27/10/2023 11:43

6 hours of your manager's time is a lot.

If I had to spend 6 hours of my time fixing junior colleagues' mistakes (and more time discussing the mistakes and checking the rest of their work in case of other mistakes), I'd have serious concerns about their suitability for their post.

LIZS · 27/10/2023 11:50

Scirocco · 27/10/2023 11:43

6 hours of your manager's time is a lot.

If I had to spend 6 hours of my time fixing junior colleagues' mistakes (and more time discussing the mistakes and checking the rest of their work in case of other mistakes), I'd have serious concerns about their suitability for their post.

Exactly, imagine if they had to do this for each person they manage, nothing of their own role would ever get done and remember their time is more costly than yours, so your errors and oversights do have a financial implication. Not sure what you mean by "side gig" but a reputation for shortcomings will follow you and you risk that no other team or manager will be willing to give you a chance. You seem to have a high opinion of your abilities which does not match the feedback.

Original poster
chatenoire · 27/10/2023 12:00

LIZS · 27/10/2023 11:50

Exactly, imagine if they had to do this for each person they manage, nothing of their own role would ever get done and remember their time is more costly than yours, so your errors and oversights do have a financial implication. Not sure what you mean by "side gig" but a reputation for shortcomings will follow you and you risk that no other team or manager will be willing to give you a chance. You seem to have a high opinion of your abilities which does not match the feedback.

Show quote history

Well I think if I had 1:1s (like some of my team do) this could have been addressed sooner.

And I don't think 45mins (or less) because realistically she only fixed two, and one of them would always had been joint, is not necessarily the end of the world.

I as a manager wouldn't have waited this long, but it's irrelevant.

OP posts:
Normalsizedsalad · 27/10/2023 12:01

Did you completely career changed into this?

amusedbush · 27/10/2023 12:04

chatenoire · 27/10/2023 11:27

I think the goalpost of next week has moved. As we're trying other things at the same time, so it would be premature for me to say, "yes I'm moving".

I'm fairly certain I would do ok in the other team if they take me.

Show quote history

Has your boss explicitly said that the deadline has changed?

There are several examples (here and in your other posts) of you assuming that other people are on the same page as you but you don't take the time to confirm, which is leading to further misunderstandings and complaints.

You need to ask your boss directly for a specific deadline to make your decision, then you'll know for sure rather than being "fairly certain".

Janieforever · 27/10/2023 12:06

amusedbush · 27/10/2023 12:04

Has your boss explicitly said that the deadline has changed?

There are several examples (here and in your other posts) of you assuming that other people are on the same page as you but you don't take the time to confirm, which is leading to further misunderstandings and complaints.

You need to ask your boss directly for a specific deadline to make your decision, then you'll know for sure rather than being "fairly certain".

Show quote history

Agree, fairly certain doesn’t wash. Op confirm with your manager if the goal posts have moved or not.

Puddycatfan · 27/10/2023 12:07

Reading through the OP's posts I am thinking that the manager had has plenty of these chats, the OP just hasn't read between the lines...

LIZS · 27/10/2023 12:08

Have you asked for 1:1 to clarify expectations and deadlines? You seem to go off at a tangent and may not be listening hard enough to understand the priorities. Stop dismissing the time others are having to take to compensate and consider why.

friendlycat · 27/10/2023 12:09

Puddycatfan · 27/10/2023 12:07

Reading through the OP's posts I am thinking that the manager had has plenty of these chats, the OP just hasn't read between the lines...

Anywho, it was multifactorial but overall my manager gave me a few options:

*That she'll support me to move to another company in case I'm unhappy (I assured her I'm not, but she mentioned it twice).

*That I can move to a different team (she told me to tell her by next week as she'll meet that manager)

*Work on my current role.

She however did ask (twice) to at least do my basic job correctly (help her to help me).But even the OP's opening post states ...

This to me is quite clear communication from her Manager.

spitefulandbadgrammar · 27/10/2023 12:13

chatenoire · 27/10/2023 12:00

Well I think if I had 1:1s (like some of my team do) this could have been addressed sooner.

And I don't think 45mins (or less) because realistically she only fixed two, and one of them would always had been joint, is not necessarily the end of the world.

I as a manager wouldn't have waited this long, but it's irrelevant.

Show quote history

You’re right, it’s irrelevant as you’re not the manager. But I suspect this attitude of “well my way would be better” comes across at work, too.

Is it six hours, or 45 minutes? Either way, it’s 45 minutes or six hours of her time, not yours – it’s not up to you to decide if it’s a problem. It’s a problem for her. As a manager, it would be a problem for me: the whole point of having an employee to do a job is for them to do that job, not to half-ass it so someone else has to spend 45 minutes fixing it. That’s why they’ve asked for one option for you to consider to be “do your job”.

Original poster
chatenoire · 27/10/2023 12:17

Puddycatfan · 27/10/2023 12:07

Reading through the OP's posts I am thinking that the manager had has plenty of these chats, the OP just hasn't read between the lines...

Verbally? Just two. One was about my career progression two weeks ago, and another one yesterday that's it.

No other direct chat or call or anything.

OP posts:
rookiemere · 27/10/2023 12:19

I do think your boss has given you carte blanche to speak to the other manager, but you could check with her before you did just to be certain.

I checked one of your other threads and I believe you're on £70k - sorry as I know looking at other threads is a bit frowned upon, but I think that's important information here. Granted I work in Scotland where wages are lower, but at that level I'd expect someone to be getting on with it and if there were areas they struggled with, to come up with their own solutions on how to resolve.

I think the issue here is you're probably brilliant at some aspects of your role and pretty bad at others. I suspect you have a low boredom threshold so once you have mastered stuff you're good at, that may also slip.

Give the other role a whirl, it's your least bad option. I'd forget about the existential crisis for now if your salary is needed to pay bills.

LIZS · 27/10/2023 12:21

"Career progression" or a chat about whether this role is suitable? When were you asked to do the basics?

LimePi · 27/10/2023 12:21

if your boss continuously has to correct bits of your job, after 2 years, it’s a failure!!! Boss is not primary school teacher or a parent to catch your mistakes.
i would expect mistakes to disappear after first 6 months and be extremely rare after that.
from what you describe you are making them all the time and even worse, don’t even think it is a big deal??!! It is a big deal. You are not a junior trainee.
especially when these mistakes- again judging by what you are saying yourself- are caused by sloppiness

LimePi · 27/10/2023 12:24

“did say I was welcome but didn't have the budget)” - this means they are aware of quality of your work and don’t want to take you

rookiemere · 27/10/2023 12:29

LimePi · 27/10/2023 12:24

“did say I was welcome but didn't have the budget)” - this means they are aware of quality of your work and don’t want to take you

That's a bit unkind, not many departments have spare budget knocking around and often can't keep or add staff as they need to.

LIZS · 27/10/2023 12:35

70k really? Shock for that you really need to be more on point and self aware.

LimePi · 27/10/2023 12:35

@rookiemere

i don’t think they would have taken OP even if they did have the budget.
I don’t care if it’s unkind in a British way - the most useful thing for OP right now is to actually SEE massive issues with her performance, accept that and start addressing them. She can’t address something she’s totally dismissive towards, as she continues to be. And she must address them, whether she want to stay in her current role, change the team or the company. Giving her kind BS platitudes is actually counterproductive.

Normalsizedsalad · 27/10/2023 12:41

LIZS · 27/10/2023 12:35

70k really? Shock for that you really need to be more on point and self aware.

I thought it's a junior/entry ish position where considerable oversight by management is required😶

LIZS · 27/10/2023 12:43

Exactly. No-one expects to rewrite work by someone that senior. There must be a reason it was not just pushed back to op.

friendlycat · 27/10/2023 12:44

Exactly how long you have been in this job really is the crucial point here and when the 2 year mark is. It's not something that you have answered. But for clarity this is valid.

It may be that you do not think an individual is the right fit for your company or organisation, or there could have been various conduct or capability issues that have raised legitimate concerns. For the employee with less than 2 years service, this may mean that their contract of employment can be lawfully terminated, without further investigation or prior warning, and without the need for you to defend either your decision to dismiss or the way in which this is handled.