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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To not want a dog?

57 replies

Unfitmother · 09/03/2008 16:13

DH ganged up on me with dcs today saying 'Mummy doesn't want a dog' when DD started pleading. She's 7 and DS is 10 so they won't be looking after it.
We have a smallish house and a tiny garden and both work full time.
DH says he'll look after it but I get up at 05:45 and leave the house at 06:30 while DH is still in bed. If we had a dog it would want feeding/walking/attention as soon as I got up. I also get home first with dcs so situation would be repeated at the end of the day.
I don't like animals, don't like dog poo and don't like the restrictions they will cause.
AIB selfish?

OP posts:

MegaMindy · 09/03/2008 16:15

DO not give in. Do not get a dog!

It will be very hard work with two children when you are both working full time - and dogs need lots of exercise!

MegaMindy · 09/03/2008 16:15

It sounds like you have a far more realistic idea of what a dog needs then what your dh thinks.

chopchopbusybusy · 09/03/2008 16:17

No, I don't think you are being selfish. If you are both out at work, then it's not fair for you or the dog.

TheOriginalXENA · 09/03/2008 16:17

the dog won't like being left alone!

PABLOP · 09/03/2008 16:19

No YANBU,

Not fair to keep a dog, alone all day
You will be the one to look after it
They poo and have smelly wind.

No seriously really put your foot down, my DH did this to me when dd was about 9, we lived in a cottage, both worked and I got landed with the walk in the morning and evening. DH used to talk for long run on a Sunday, would drive to the moors in my car. imo looking after a dog is liking having a child, they need lots of love and attentio.

Scattybird · 09/03/2008 16:19

No, tell them no and buy a goldfish!!!!Don't give in. Your life will be hell.

MegaMindy · 09/03/2008 16:20

My brother and his girlfriend have a dog and both work full time. My parents have to go around there DAILY to take the dog out for a two hour walk. If they didn't, the dog would wreck the house.

WiiMii · 09/03/2008 16:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

blousy · 09/03/2008 16:21

If the dog would be alone for several hours, do NOT consider gettting one - it's cruel.

MegaMindy · 09/03/2008 16:21

or a hamster, or even a cat or rabbit, would be easier. A dog is one of the hardest animals to look after.

Ask your dh, does he really want to use a poop scoop to pick up a pile of steaming dog poo?

pedilia · 09/03/2008 16:22

YANBU- Dogs take a huge amount of time and energy and it is not fair on the dog to be at home all day on its own.

Joolyjoolyjoo · 09/03/2008 16:25

I have 2 dogs and, much as I love them, they are really hard work!! We walk them for over an hour a day, which is nice in the summer, but not so nice yesterday when the kids were crying when the hailstones came down .

We can't get a last minute holiday, or decide to go away for the weekend. Kennels get booked up quite quickly in advance, and they are expensive!!

We have a dog walker for the 2 days I work, which adds another £20/ week to their care!

They have chewed many things of value, occasionally poo/ diarrhoea in the house, which is just lovely to come down to in the morning when you are trying to get 3 kids out of the door

Vet's bills can be expensive- I should know, I'm a vet!!!

It would almost certainly end up with you having to do things for the dog, which is fine if it is your choice, but don't be bullied into it!! My mum talked my dad into a puppy when I was 7- they ended up rehoming it a year later, and it broke my heart! If you know that deep down you don't want a dog in your family, you would probably be better to stick to your guns, no matter how much they hate you for it!! At least until the kids are older and could be expected to take more of an active role. Jx

kd73 · 09/03/2008 16:32

YANBU and DH is not being helpful.

Suggest to DH & DC that if they can demonstrate that they will take responsibility for the dog by getting up 1 hour earlier everyday and then going to the park everynight for 6 weeks, then you will reconsider it.

I am sure it won't need 6 weeks to drill down the point

beaniesteve · 09/03/2008 16:47

Only get a dog if you are prepared to look after it. In my experience it's usually the person who wanted it least who takes care of it.

I had a log, I loved it, it was very rewarding and he got me out of the house, but it certainly limits you and if you are a compassionate caring person you will not be able to stand by while everyone else fails to look after it.

Is there any way you could borrow a dog for a while just to show your family the level of care it will need?

WiiMii · 09/03/2008 16:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Wisteria · 09/03/2008 16:53

YANBU

I don't want you to get a dog with that schedule and I love dogs.....

PrincessPeaHead · 09/03/2008 16:53

You can't leave a dog alone all day it is cruel. Tell DH he is being selfish. Or buy a kitten without telling them, you'll be the hero of the hour and cats are great and don't care if you are there or not, as long as they have a catflap

Wisteria · 09/03/2008 16:56

Well...actually you can leave a dog alone all day, if they have access to a garden, kennel, water etc. A puppy/ dog under 2 won't handle being left for long periods but an older dog would. I still wouldn't advocate it personally as you sound fairly hectic already and the dog would still need attention morning and night (moreso because he/ she would have been alone all day).

expatinscotland · 09/03/2008 16:56

YANBU.

they're a pain in the arse and their poo is enough to make someone with a cast iron stomach hurl.

Elasticwoman · 09/03/2008 17:10

You are not being selfish - he is.

I don't want a dog either and we don't both work full time. Dogs take up time and cost money. I wouldn't be prepared to take the risk that dh would do all the work required, and certainly the cost would come out of the family budget.

In your position, if there were leeway in the family budget, I'd drop my hours, not get an extra drain on resources.

AlistairSim · 09/03/2008 17:16

Oh yeah.
Don't be talked into it.

My dp talked me into three goldfish.

I spend an unseemly portion of my day worrying about them.
Are they happy? Have they been fed? Are they starting to float to the top? Are they screaming for help? Has ds managed to get hold of one and eat it?

It's a slippery slope into insanity.

Be warned.

Chequers · 09/03/2008 17:19

Message withdrawn

Original poster

Unfitmother · 09/03/2008 17:23

DH thinks I'm being disingenous. He knows what having a dog entails (he says) as had them in his youth.
He's currently working predominantly from home on an IT project but not every day and the situation could change tomorrow. He has previously had an hour or half commute depending on where he is based.

OP posts:

Miggsie · 09/03/2008 17:25

I know someone who was being blackmailed like this and offered to dog sit a friend's dog while they went on holiday.
Once kids and DH realised all the walking and poo stuff involved they went off the idea...you could suggest a dog sit to put them off?

And prove your point that you will end up looking after the damn thing...

If you can, dog sit one that jumps on the bed and licks DH at 6am, they hate that

Original poster

Unfitmother · 09/03/2008 17:49

DH here, DW really should work as a barrister !. Even b4 got married I wanted a dog, always had one as a child and looked after it. There is no way on gods earth DW will be walking or looking after dog. Have offered to get up at 6:00 every day prior to getting a dog to prove our commitment.DD has wanted a dog since she was 2. In a family why should one person have a veto. Her family didnt have a dog and you can tell.They might have ended up more tolerant of other people sharing their living environment if they had. I am working from home and whilst possibly not permenantly its not stopping tomorrow. Commute into work not 90 mins you BFL !!!. Dont be fooled by DW she is a very determind women who is used to getting her own way and will stop at nothing to win her argument. Awesome !!

OP posts:

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