Is it acceptable to ask for furniture and bedding as Christmas gifts?

[Mastmw7g]

We just bought a house on Monday and really don't have much money to spare. Grandparents are asking what to buy for Christmas already, and I can think of so many things the kids need for their rooms. They have beds, but nothing else. DD wants a bookcase that looks like a giant dolls house, for example. And my older DS wants Minecraft bedding and a gaming desk. So is it acceptable to ask for these things, or is it my responsibility to provide them and grandparents should be buying toys?

i Would say it depends on the relationship with your family- some would be happy to help but others would not.
Why can’t you write a list of the toys and fun things they’d like and let the family get “your” share and spend the money saved on the firntire they’d like- explaining that fun furniture costs more so that’s their Xmas from you plus stockings and a few wee bits. Then the relatives get to give them fun presents and they end up with what they would have anyway…

If it’s something the DC want and will love I think it’s fine.

Perfectly acceptable. Or to ask for funds towards things if the items are more expensive than people might want to spend.

YANBU, I would be so happy to purchase a gift that I know the recipient really needs, wants and would be more than a passing phase.

Yes of course it’s OK to ask for them (assuming they are within the normal present budget).

I think most people would be delighted to be buying something that will be really appreciated.

if it helps, we also moved house this year - DS1 is getting a bookcase and a wall light for Christmas, DS2 is getting a new desk, and DH and I are getting vouchers towards a light fitting 😄. Gift-givers and recipients all fully on board and happy with the arrangement.

Talk to the grandparents.

Yeah I think it depends on the grandparents but both sets here would be more than happy to contribute/buy big ticket items like that especially if it is what the children want! Don’t overthink it and just ask

Yes, absolutely. I think unfortunately lots of family members want to only give the big showy fun presents instead of presents that would be much wanted and useful. But I'd be delighted as long as it was within budget to give something that would actually get daily use, rather than more plastic tat that will be broken and tossed aside by January.

If it’s your children actually asking for them rather than you deciding for them for your own convenience, then yes it’s fine.

I think it’s fine to ask for stuff like that

Go for it

Will the children be happy to open those items as gifts?

are these items at the price point the grandparents prefer to spend?

Then suggest the items as possibilities to the grandparents and see what they think. Tell them you have other suggestions if they don’t like those ideas.

the children in our extended family get things like decorative items for their rooms or new clothing as Christmas gifts all the time. They have so many toys already. When they were little we bought so many toys second hand anyway.

Of course it's fine

I'd be delighted to buy stuff like that. It's useful and if it's what the kids want it's a great idea.

Yes of course it’s fine.

Of course it's ok. I've done this many times over the years when family set their budgets and ask for present ideas, they do be only too delighted to be able to get things the kids really loved and wanted.

• why dont you get those items for instead?

If they will spend that much on them usually then of course its fine .

Or you get those items and let the grandparents buy toys.

But yeah I also think it's fine to ask for the items, but speak to them and explain.

As long as those things are within (or only just outside) their normal budget, I think those things which will give the DCs pleasure for a long time are a far better present than toys which will be played with for a bit and then quite possibly forgotten.

With what you have suggested yes fine to ask as presents. Our family often have bedding/towels/beanbags etc on lists.

@LovelyGreenCushions I mean it when I say we don't have a lot of money to spare. We have until Christmas to save, but there isn't likely to be much from us. We still have to get the garden sorted. (It's just rocks.) And we have held off on buying a sofa because that's one thing we're not going to get used, and besides we don't have a television yet. We aren't going to buy toys, either, though.

Hmmm with your update I’m not sure now… isn’t Christmas a little sterile of no one is getting the fun presents? How much do the kids want these fancy shelves or bed sets rather than normal cheaper versions? The dolls house shelf for example is going to date far quicker than an ikea one which could be used forever really as it doesn’t go out of fashion whereas a little girl grows up and out of “babyish” stuff pretty damn quick. And you say they have nothing not beds- but what did they have in your old house? How can your son not just use the same bedding and desk he had previously? Again- gamer themed
bedding will date faster than standard neutral
cotton set with a gaming cheap fleece from b and m- and not mean Christmas has to be utilised to kit out your home…

I remember when I was about 9 and it was my birthday
My DM led me into my bedroom that she had renovated for me as a present whilst I was at school. The wallpaper, the bedding, the curtains

I hated it. It wasn't a present. I wanted a Pippa doll
I am still resentful 50 years later
Whenever I see that bedding (classic 1970s) the disappointment comes back

If that's what the kids want ask away. And something smaller or books/selection box so they something a bit more fun..