Is it acceptable to ask for furniture and bedding as Christmas gifts?

[Mastmw7g]

We just bought a house on Monday and really don't have much money to spare. Grandparents are asking what to buy for Christmas already, and I can think of so many things the kids need for their rooms. They have beds, but nothing else. DD wants a bookcase that looks like a giant dolls house, for example. And my older DS wants Minecraft bedding and a gaming desk. So is it acceptable to ask for these things, or is it my responsibility to provide them and grandparents should be buying toys?

My mum loved buying DD stuff that she knew she would love. She has bought bedside lamps, curtains, character duvet covers/towels etc quite happily. I don't see why anyone would have a problem with this tbh.

Of course! Or ask for gift vouchers for John Lewis/Dunelm etc etc

Of course.

I think it's fine to ask for those sorts of things, though furniture I think would often be too expensive for me to be comfortable asking for it.

I would say though that we're in a similar position - new house, not a lot of money spare. We didn't go all out decorating their rooms, they pretty much look how we found them, we just got the basics (bed, cheap second hand draws etc) and have told them we will decorate down the line when we can. I think your kids sound like they have quite lavish, idealistic expectations of how their bedrooms will look. If they want them to look like that more than they want things to play with, fine, but I think a middle ground could probably be the reached that would be better for them.

@ssd I definitely bought the beds secondhand, but I think I still spent too much because I'm terrible at haggling. I hope to do the same with bedside tables, drawers, bookcases, and so on. But buy new mattresses, curtains, and anything upholstered.

@aSofaNearYou We're in the United States and moved from a 687 square foot home in the Bay Area of California to a 2200 square foot home in Las Vegas. It's my fault that the kids have lavish tastes. I got them excited for the move by having them make lavish plans for the bedrooms they would have. Then we had to take a loss on the sale of our home and pay about $20k more than we expected on closing costs because we had to do a rate buy down with interest rates skyrocketing here.

I do think we're lowering their expectations now and they're just excited to have rooms painted and beds. But my in laws have done things like mail 40 gifts for me to wrap for them, including gifts too big for our former home that we had to send back. My parents are better at sending small things (that I don't have to wrap!), but they're also expensive to me, like pricey Magna tiles, Lego sets, and Sylvanian families. Easy enough to store, but the amount of money! My oldest no longer lives with me and has had to help the younger kids opening gifts because they were tired of it. I don't know how much they spend, but I think they try to be fair and give my oldest a commensurate amount of money, and last year my in laws sent her a $500 Amazon voucher, which made me think they had spent around $500 per kid. My parents sent her a $200 voucher, so they may have spent around $200 per kid.

@Turnthelightoff DD has said the kallax is too square for her giant dolls house 😂 But she looked at other furniture on the site and likes the Billy bookcases if I use paint or tape to make a "roof." Win for me because the Billy bookcases are less expensive and I can probably find them secondhand.

@LovelyGreenCushions daughter is 25 , should of added that bit 😂

I'm not sure that children would appreciate furniture and bedding as presents. They're more to help out the parents.

I would buy toys (second hand) and ask for a contribution towards the household items you need.

Hmm, not sure about this. You say you have bedding but not for trundle, and you need to do the garden?

If this were me I would prefer my kids got some toys rather than a duvet set, which they already have, unless they really want that more than toys?

I would also definitely leave the garden and make sure my children have at least basic furniture and Christmas gifts!

@QueenOfCarrotFlowers We have plain bedding for everyone's bed they sleep in, not the special bedding the boys have specifically asked for as Christmas gifts. And it depends on the kid whether bedding is wanted more than anything else. My oldest DS would rather have a computer. My youngest DS said today he'd rather have this swivel egg chair Ikea sells, but yesterday he wanted glow in the dark bedding more. The only difference being that today we went to ikea. DD wants to eventually have lavender flower bedding, but is fine with her plain grey bedding for now, so bedding isn't on her Christmas list except for wanting a chunky knit blanket like my 20 year old brings when visiting.

As for the garden, we don't think we have enough money to do that. DH wants to get a dog, and I said we had to get that done first.

IKEA do a small bookcase (Flisat) in the shape of a doll's house. It's very plain, so would work for older kids too. May be too small for your DD though.

I think a present can be anything that the recipient would get excited about, especially if there is a luxury element to it. E.g. your DS1 probably needs a desk, but wants a gaming desk. Your DD needs bookshelves but wants a doll's house one. Youngest DS needs bedding but wants glow in the dark stuff. So yes, I think any of those could legitimately be presents, as long as DC will be excited and happy about opening them. But if they won't consider them as proper presents and the budget is tight, just say no to the luxury bedroom stuff (like most parents have to do sometimes when things just aren't affordable) and buy them the cheap basic secondhand furniture they need and a few simple Christmas presents instead. Even a six year old is old enough to understand that if he wants very specific bedding then that might need to go on his Christmas wishlist. Toys are not the only things that most children consider acceptable as presents!

If the kids have asked for these things and will be excited to have them given, it’s fine!

I think I'm mainly getting confused about the relative costs of all of these things. From what you have said about your PIL, it sounds like they spend a fortune on gifts, so if they ask what the kids want then I imagine a set of bedding in amongst all that would not be a big deal. Similarly the blanket.

You may mean longer term, but wondering why your husband is thinking of getting a dog when struggling to buy basic furniture?

I think what you said about lowering expectations is important. I know it's exciting to have a new bedroom, but large pieces of furniture are pricey and I think that's something adults choose from their own budget rather than kids getting a say in, really. Choosing a duvet set/choosing a blanket, or choosing paint colour when it needs decorating - I'd say those are the kind of reasonable input a kid can give. So I think maybe let in laws know about those smaller items, so the kids end up with some presents which are toys but also those smaller nice things for their new bedrooms, then just get affordable basic/second hand furniture which is functional otherwise. To me this would be the best compromise.

@whizzbangpopsplutter said it better than me just above!