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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not what the GP receptionist to loudly proclaim that I'm overdue for a smear test in the waiting room?

400 replies

nahhh88 · 25/10/2023 12:25

I went into the GP surgery for a completely unrelated manner, and when the GP receptionist pulled up my profile she said I'm overdue for my smear test, and did I want to book in for the smear test. I just said I'll book it another time and tried to get her to stop talking. I've never had a smear test as I'm a virgin and had the HPV vaccines as a teenager, and I have no intention of having one done any time soon.

I felt really embarrassed knowing everyone in the waiting room will have heard (the chairs are all very close to the reception desk, there's no privacy so you end up knowing everyone's private medical details said aloud for everyone to hear. As I walked out this old man made eye contact with me and I just felt really embarrassed by it.

AIBU to think GP receptions need to have more privacy and things handled more quietly and sensitively?

OP posts:
XenoBitch · 25/10/2023 22:33

5pot6pot7potmore · 25/10/2023 22:04

It's a bit off topic, but there is no national prostate cancer screening programme in the UK. So for most men there's no regular schedule of prostate exams for them to be overdue on.

Yep, this.
Men go to the GP and don't get accosted about prostate or testicle checks.

DerekFaker · 25/10/2023 22:33

Nowherenew · 25/10/2023 19:02

Perhaps guilt is the wrong word.

I know my sister doesn’t have smear tests and gets very defensive when it’s brought up.
Even if it’s me saying I’ve got one and not even mentioning her.

I think many women who choose not to have them feel like this.

Show quote history

I'm not surprised, going by how naggy and preachy a lot of posters in this thread are being!

SatsumaNightmare · 25/10/2023 22:40

Nowherenew · 25/10/2023 19:02

Perhaps guilt is the wrong word.

I know my sister doesn’t have smear tests and gets very defensive when it’s brought up.
Even if it’s me saying I’ve got one and not even mentioning her.

I think many women who choose not to have them feel like this.

Show quote history

No wonder with the policing of other women’s bodies that goes on, as clearly evident in this thread.

I find it utterly bizarre that women are lecturing others and treating them like children, insisting they must go and have a medical procedure when it has absolutely nothing to do with them. You don’t see this about any other medical screening or test other than those that seem to be sex specific for women. Funny that.

SatsumaNightmare · 25/10/2023 22:55

RosesAndHellebores · 25/10/2023 22:27

I believe GP practices get incentive payments when they reach a quota for smear tests. That is probably why some of their staff are so assertive aggressive about hounding women to have smear tests and refusing to note no for an answer.

I have thyroid disease and have done for more than 30 years. This needs annual monitoring. There are no incentive payments in relation to it. It only gets followed up when I ask about it. In more than 30 years, not one GP or member of practice staff has asked how I'm feeling re my thyroid.

In the last four months I have had a number of concerning blood tests through outpatients including sky high cholesterol and a recommendation from the hospital for a Q3 risk assessment to be carried out. Haven't heard a whisper from the GP. No incentive payments for it. All sorted privately because I can't be bovvered with the barriers to GP/NHS care presently in place.

Yep, this. Similarly for certain contraceptives (last time I went it was the coil, but presumably this changes). I got so angry at being unable to discuss what I was actually there for because the GP wanted to talk about my ‘overdue smear’ instead, that I actually called him out on it and asked him how much he was getting paid to bully me into having something I had no intention of having. I then threw the stats at him, and asked whether he thought it was moral to use emotional advertising to coerce women into attending (motherless children adverts, anyone remember those?). He back-tracked very quickly after that.

JayJayEl · 25/10/2023 23:05

NewName122 · 25/10/2023 22:32

Yanbu. My gp surgery is on 2 levels with screens that are linked so show the same message in both waiting areas and will flash up 'LAUREN PRICE WITH NURSE SMITH IN ROOM 2' when your turn. No confidentiality at all. Not my name BTW.

Edited

How else are they supposed to call you in for an appointment, though? Am I missing something?

XenoBitch · 25/10/2023 23:07

JayJayEl · 25/10/2023 23:05

How else are they supposed to call you in for an appointment, though? Am I missing something?

Show quote history

I think a name and room number is fine.
Receptionist saying name and your procedure...not so much.

Killingmytime · 25/10/2023 23:10

unsure why you’re blaming the receptionist though?
by your own account she wasn’t ‘shouting across’ ( unsure where all these posters are getting this from) but it’s the set up of the surgery.
she’s doing her job.
yes you can still be at risk of cervical cancer even if you aren’t sexually active, if you need a smear then she’s doing her job to keep you healthy ( and yes meet any targets).
yes you feel embarrassed that’s fair enough, that’s your feelings, but others wouldn’t. ( for me I would like the reminder!)
quite awful an old man has been labelled as a ‘dirty old man’ for no reason at all by some posters 🤔

NewName122 · 25/10/2023 23:14

Someone coming out and saying your name or even just flashing your name over the floor you are there for not both full waiting areas 🤣 I'd prefer that

JayJayEl · 25/10/2023 23:16

XenoBitch · 25/10/2023 23:07

I think a name and room number is fine.
Receptionist saying name and your procedure...not so much.

Show quote history

Oh, absolutely! However, the OP of that comment said the screen flashed 'LAUREN PRICE WITH NURSE SMITH IN ROOM 2', so no procedure was mentioned?

JayJayEl · 25/10/2023 23:17

NewName122 · 25/10/2023 23:14

Someone coming out and saying your name or even just flashing your name over the floor you are there for not both full waiting areas 🤣 I'd prefer that

The two floors thing is surely just down to logistics, though? And reading your name isn't all that different to hearing it - in fact, I would think more people would notice a name called out rather than one flashed across a screen?

MrsDrudge · 26/10/2023 00:03

It’s nothing to do with embarrassment or with your views on smear testing.
The receptionist breached the OPs right to confidentiality. Medical matters should be kept private.

T1Dmama · 26/10/2023 00:25

XenoBitch · 25/10/2023 18:57

YANBU, you are not being sensitive about this at all.
Considering how many posters have virtually tutted you for being over due, could you imagine if someone in the waiting room had actually said something that you overheard?

And to the people saying smears are an everyday thing and you should not be embarrassed. They are literally only an everyday thing to the nurses doing them. Once every 3 years is not every day, and it is understandable that many women struggle with them. But on MN, you are selfish/idiotic if you don't have a smear.

This^^
mIm 46 and have had a baby and STILL avoid smears!

GroanWoman · 26/10/2023 00:49

MrsDrudge · 26/10/2023 00:03

It’s nothing to do with embarrassment or with your views on smear testing.
The receptionist breached the OPs right to confidentiality. Medical matters should be kept private.

But of course. It's obvious.

However, this has been pointed out a millionty-one times on this thread, and the response is still "I wouldn't care/smears aren't embarrassing/everyone should have one/all this reveals is that you have a cervix" etc. as if you have no right to privacy or confidentiality. You DO!

user1477391263 · 26/10/2023 03:01

All the “You shouldn’t be embarrassed!!”responses are ridiculous. OP is entitled to her feelings. Receptionist should not yell medical information out where other people can hear it.

IrresponsiblyCertainAboutSexualDimorphism · 26/10/2023 06:56

Killingmytime · 25/10/2023 23:10

unsure why you’re blaming the receptionist though?
by your own account she wasn’t ‘shouting across’ ( unsure where all these posters are getting this from) but it’s the set up of the surgery.
she’s doing her job.
yes you can still be at risk of cervical cancer even if you aren’t sexually active, if you need a smear then she’s doing her job to keep you healthy ( and yes meet any targets).
yes you feel embarrassed that’s fair enough, that’s your feelings, but others wouldn’t. ( for me I would like the reminder!)
quite awful an old man has been labelled as a ‘dirty old man’ for no reason at all by some posters 🤔

No, it’s not her job. And no, if OP has never been sexually active it’s vanishingly unlikely she has HPV, and therefore a test for HPV is useless.

DerekFaker · 26/10/2023 06:58

SatsumaNightmare · 25/10/2023 22:55

Yep, this. Similarly for certain contraceptives (last time I went it was the coil, but presumably this changes). I got so angry at being unable to discuss what I was actually there for because the GP wanted to talk about my ‘overdue smear’ instead, that I actually called him out on it and asked him how much he was getting paid to bully me into having something I had no intention of having. I then threw the stats at him, and asked whether he thought it was moral to use emotional advertising to coerce women into attending (motherless children adverts, anyone remember those?). He back-tracked very quickly after that.

Show quote history

Oh the bloody coil/IUD! I get horrendous periods (so contraception is also medicinal for me) and I've read enough horror stories about the coil making periods worse to not want to risk it. Yet every single time I see the nurse practitioner, she brings it up. I said NO!

Formaddict · 26/10/2023 07:25

OP you should raise this with the surgery. I work at a GP surgery and I know that all our receptions do speak with a really loud voice because very few of the patients can actually hear them if they speak quietly. Lots of the patients are hard of hearing so It’s likely that the staff have become too used to having to shout and now just do it as a matter of course.

Smear tests are also as routine in GP surgeries as blood tests and BP tests they probably forget that people find them really sensitive.

let the surgery know how you feel and they can remind the staff.

RosesAndHellebores · 26/10/2023 07:30

@JayJayEl yes I think you and many others are missing something

Lauren Price and Nurse Smith
I imagine the sign also says Lauren Price and Dr Jones.

What a shame the patient is not afforded the same level of respect and courtesy as the HCP. Personally I think if both sides of the equation were equal the treatment of all patients and particularly women would be greater. That sign and the inner psyche of every health professional should read:

Miss, Mrs or Ms Lauren Price for Nurse Susan Smith or Dr Jane Jones

or

Lauren Price for Susan Smith, Nurse or Jane Jones, GP.

It's called equality and the NHS needs to stop throwing money at EDI or step down from its 2 legs good, 4 legs bad Orwellian attitude.

PearlClutzsche · 26/10/2023 07:50

RosesAndHellebores · 26/10/2023 07:30

@JayJayEl yes I think you and many others are missing something

Lauren Price and Nurse Smith
I imagine the sign also says Lauren Price and Dr Jones.

What a shame the patient is not afforded the same level of respect and courtesy as the HCP. Personally I think if both sides of the equation were equal the treatment of all patients and particularly women would be greater. That sign and the inner psyche of every health professional should read:

Miss, Mrs or Ms Lauren Price for Nurse Susan Smith or Dr Jane Jones

or

Lauren Price for Susan Smith, Nurse or Jane Jones, GP.

It's called equality and the NHS needs to stop throwing money at EDI or step down from its 2 legs good, 4 legs bad Orwellian attitude.

Yes!
I saw nice new doctor recently. "Do you mind if I call you Pearl?"
No of course not.
But on asking his name (as I hadn't met him before)
"Dr Shufflebottom"

🙄

RosesAndHellebores · 26/10/2023 07:55

@PearlClutzsche I do hope you responded, "then you may call me Mrs Clutzsche". I don't stand for it any more. One of the benefits of getting old is being legitimately indomitable.

PinkSparklyPussyCat · 26/10/2023 08:02

Notfeelinghunkydory · 25/10/2023 21:50

Smears are not just about checking for cervical cancer. The nurse also has a good look at your cervix to check for any lumps etc. I am having a gynae appointment at hospital next week as last time I had a speclum up there it was discovered I have a polyp on my cervix which they usually like to remove and send for tests

When I had a smear last year with a consultant she used the colposcopy chair as it was so painful for me on the bed. It turns out my cervix is very high and off to one side so difficult to find. Presumably the nurses at my GP surgery haven't seen much over the years but never thought to mention anything to me

GroanWoman · 26/10/2023 08:13

RosesAndHellebores · 26/10/2023 07:55

@PearlClutzsche I do hope you responded, "then you may call me Mrs Clutzsche". I don't stand for it any more. One of the benefits of getting old is being legitimately indomitable.

.

Miguelitaa · 26/10/2023 08:30

I always ask patients first what they would like me to call them. It’s really not difficult and sets the scene for a mutually respectful conversation.

RosesAndHellebores · 26/10/2023 08:45

@Miguelitaa I'm pleased to hear it. I detest the assumption of HCPs that they may address the patient informally whilst introducing themselves with a title. It is reductive.

Miguelitaa · 26/10/2023 09:12

RosesAndHellebores · 26/10/2023 08:45

@Miguelitaa I'm pleased to hear it. I detest the assumption of HCPs that they may address the patient informally whilst introducing themselves with a title. It is reductive.

I agree. The whole thing makes me cringe.

As a parent of a teenager with health problems, I have been talking to the same paediatrician for three years. The doctor always addresses me as ‘mum’. I find that really patronising and rude.