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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not what the GP receptionist to loudly proclaim that I'm overdue for a smear test in the waiting room?

400 replies

nahhh88 · 25/10/2023 12:25

I went into the GP surgery for a completely unrelated manner, and when the GP receptionist pulled up my profile she said I'm overdue for my smear test, and did I want to book in for the smear test. I just said I'll book it another time and tried to get her to stop talking. I've never had a smear test as I'm a virgin and had the HPV vaccines as a teenager, and I have no intention of having one done any time soon.

I felt really embarrassed knowing everyone in the waiting room will have heard (the chairs are all very close to the reception desk, there's no privacy so you end up knowing everyone's private medical details said aloud for everyone to hear. As I walked out this old man made eye contact with me and I just felt really embarrassed by it.

AIBU to think GP receptions need to have more privacy and things handled more quietly and sensitively?

OP posts:
absolutelyalice · 25/10/2023 20:35

This reply has been deleted

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RichardMarxisinnocent · 25/10/2023 20:35

Abbimae · 25/10/2023 20:10

Get a smear. You seem incorrectly informed that you don’t need one.

weird

In what way is she incorrectly informed?

Sarah2891 · 25/10/2023 20:39

XenoBitch · 25/10/2023 20:27

I am not anti-smear. I am anti- pressuring women into a procedure they don't want, and in some cases... need (as in OP).

Show quote history

Agreed.
It is really really odd how bothered some people get about other womens decisions regarding this matter.

Americano75 · 25/10/2023 20:43

nahhh88 · 25/10/2023 19:40

I'm not going to have a smear test. I'm educated enough on the matter to be able to risk assess for myself, and as a lot of you mentioned, they test for HPV and if that's negative they don't test for cell changes. I'm highly unlikely to have HPV.

There is a bit of a mean attitude from some of the replies on this thread regarding me feeling embarrassment and shame about a smear test. I don't need to justify or explain it, I just feel embarrassment about it. It's not helpful, and if anything it has the opposite effect as I then feel ashamed of why am I so nervous and prudish when other women can just get on with it?

I don't see men getting 'told off' for being embarrassed about going for their prostate examinations, or people over 60 for not doing their FIT stool tests, or the people who suffer silently with symptoms of bowel cancer but are too embarrassed to get it checked.

You mean you haven't been cured of your embarrassment by all the posters telling you not to be embarrassed because there's no need to be embarrassed? 😉

PinkSparklyPussyCat · 25/10/2023 21:05

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How about the receptionist doesn't share anyone's details, medical or otherwise, in front of other patients? Then the OP and others who agree with her won't have to grow up or get over themselves 🙄

CannotBeBothered01 · 25/10/2023 21:24

I'd be asking the receptionist to let me know when I gave them consent to look at my medical records.

Riverlee · 25/10/2023 21:29

@nahhh88 i think you’ve been given a hard time. If you hadn’t mentioned the smear test, but phrased it as medical or personal info, people would have been onside.

All2Well · 25/10/2023 21:31

As a post-25 yr old virgin, on numerous occasions when I enquired about a smear, made it to the appointment and spoke to various nurses, sexual health practitioners and GPs on every single occasion they told me, once they knew I was a virgin, that they would not perform a smear test on a virgin as a) it was unnecessarily invasive for someone who had never had penetrative sex and b) was completely unnecessary as they only tested for HPV which was sexually transmitted and as I was unlikely to have it and had been vaccinated it would be a waste of time.

They did always ask about skin to skin genital contact, sharing sex toys etc and when I said that I'd never experienced any of this (strict Muslim family, no sex before marriage) they reaffirmed that I didn't need a smear. And on several occasions I was told the risks outweighed the benefits in this case. All in all, around 12 different HCPs said the same, that virgins didn't need smears if they had experienced no sexual contact at all. Was told the old chesnut about the studies involving celibate nuns who never got cervical cancer.

Same thing happened twice with an internal pelvic scan. The sonographers refused to carry them out on a virgin. One woman (mid putting a condom on the probe!) was furious at me for not making them aware before attending the appointment and slammed the probe back down and stormed out. That was out of order!

StarlightLime · 25/10/2023 21:39

Why did you try twelve times to access a smear test you knew you didn't need, @All2Well ?

newnamethanks · 25/10/2023 21:41

I was severely miffed when waiting in Boots for a prescription, next to the line of junkies queueing for their methadone, when an assistant yelled 'here's your prescription for Valium Mrs Newname'. I wasn't mugged for it, quite possibly because I said I'd collect it later. Better training please.

StarlightLime · 25/10/2023 21:42

newnamethanks · 25/10/2023 21:41

I was severely miffed when waiting in Boots for a prescription, next to the line of junkies queueing for their methadone, when an assistant yelled 'here's your prescription for Valium Mrs Newname'. I wasn't mugged for it, quite possibly because I said I'd collect it later. Better training please.

That's appalling.

ButterMyParsnip · 25/10/2023 21:45

@All2Well I'm surprised by the refusal to do an internal pelvic scan. I had one at the age of 16 and was definitely a virgin. It was to diagnose PCOS and the rationale was that they got a better image from an internal scan.

All2Well · 25/10/2023 21:49

I didn't try.

Several times it was automatically booked as part of on-going gynae invesitigations and I had to go through the rigmarol every single time because they would refuse to put I was a virgin in the notes.

Twice as part of emergency hospital admissions for ruptured ovarian cysts.

A lot of the time, it was automatically flashing up on the screen when I attended the GP for something else (maybe seven times?) and I was also getting loads of letters. So the GP brought it up everytime and we had to chat everytime.

Got put on a medication for gynae issues that meant six monthly reviews with a practice nurse, never the same one and they kept saying "you're overdue for your smear, we'll do it now." And trying to pressure me into the coil every time.

Only ever booked in twice as a virgin;

The first time I didn't know I didn't need
it so booked as soon as I turned 25 and was told then.

The second time I did actually book one myself it was actually because a bunch of strangers on the internet (including one who was apparently a nurse) tried to tell me I was wrong and my gp was wrong and I needed a smear NOW. And the sexual health nurse rolled her eyes and told me to ignore them and come back once I'd had sex.

Notfeelinghunkydory · 25/10/2023 21:50

Smears are not just about checking for cervical cancer. The nurse also has a good look at your cervix to check for any lumps etc. I am having a gynae appointment at hospital next week as last time I had a speclum up there it was discovered I have a polyp on my cervix which they usually like to remove and send for tests

StarlightLime · 25/10/2023 21:55

Sorry, @All2Well

theduchessofspork · 25/10/2023 21:57

There’s nothing personal about a smear test though, and everyone knows you have a vagina, so..

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 25/10/2023 22:00

3dogsandarabbit · 25/10/2023 12:34

You still need a smear test if you are a virgin, although your risk of cervical cancer will be lower.

I doubt if anyone in the waiting room was paying attention to what the receptionist said to you, so don't feel embarrassed. People are either on their phones or too busy worrying about their own medical problems

Why would she need one? AFAIK cervical cancer is unknown in nuns, and a colleague of mine who’d never had sex and found smear tests a terrible ordeal (she would tighten right up) was told that in her circs there was no need to put herself through it any more.

XenoBitch · 25/10/2023 22:02

theduchessofspork · 25/10/2023 21:57

There’s nothing personal about a smear test though, and everyone knows you have a vagina, so..

Nothing is personal about a smear test? Do you even know what it is? It is very personal!

IrresponsiblyCertainAboutSexualDimorphism · 25/10/2023 22:03

theduchessofspork · 25/10/2023 21:57

There’s nothing personal about a smear test though, and everyone knows you have a vagina, so..

The fact that the OP was overdue for a smear test is sensitive personal information. The receptionist was wrong to share this where other patients could hear.

5pot6pot7potmore · 25/10/2023 22:04

It's a bit off topic, but there is no national prostate cancer screening programme in the UK. So for most men there's no regular schedule of prostate exams for them to be overdue on.

Riverlee · 25/10/2023 22:04

theduchessofspork · 25/10/2023 21:57

There’s nothing personal about a smear test though, and everyone knows you have a vagina, so..

Err, it’s quite an invasive procedure in your private parts. That makes it pretty personal. I can’t understand why people aren’t more understanding of op’s feelings. It’s not quite the same as having a hearing test or sight test.

JayJayEl · 25/10/2023 22:19

Talk about the importance of smear tests aside, I understand your frustration/embarrassment, OP, at this being loudly discussed in the surgery waiting room.

My little boy is adopted, and we haven't yet had the legal side finalised. We had to change our little boy's birth name as there are serious safeguarding concerns with birth family, and his birth name would make him instantly identifiable. My partner and I have spoken to the receptionists and practice manager on numerous occasions about how serious this is, and how important it is that they do NOT use his birth name. Fast forward to an appointment this week, and they used his birth name! There is absolutely no privacy in the waiting area, so most people will have heard the conversation I had with the receptionist following them using his birth name. And even more people would have heard our conversation when the receptionist came out to tell me that she'd spoken to practice manager about adoption/birth name/safeguarding concerns. As you can imagine, I was pretty livid and upset!

I don't think surgeries do enough to ensure patient confidentiality in the moment, and that is not okay.

DerekFaker · 25/10/2023 22:25

Terrifyingface · 25/10/2023 14:10

I’m as pro smear tests as they come, but a good friend was a virgin post 25 and was told by the doctor that she didn’t need one unless she was sexually active. So I assume the embarrassment was the fact that OP didn’t want to have to disclose that she was a virgin in public, to say why she didn’t need one. I know ‘no’ is a complete answer etc but receptionists can be really persistent. Reminders can be sent out in a private and non-obtrusive way (text, call, email, letter).

To address the flu vaccine analogy, it’s like having someone try and push you into having a flu jab when you have an autoimmune condition. You shouldn’t feel like you have to declare your medical conditions/status in public in order to justify declining a test.

Edited

Spot on. Some posters in this thread are being rather obtuse.

RosesAndHellebores · 25/10/2023 22:27

I believe GP practices get incentive payments when they reach a quota for smear tests. That is probably why some of their staff are so assertive aggressive about hounding women to have smear tests and refusing to note no for an answer.

I have thyroid disease and have done for more than 30 years. This needs annual monitoring. There are no incentive payments in relation to it. It only gets followed up when I ask about it. In more than 30 years, not one GP or member of practice staff has asked how I'm feeling re my thyroid.

In the last four months I have had a number of concerning blood tests through outpatients including sky high cholesterol and a recommendation from the hospital for a Q3 risk assessment to be carried out. Haven't heard a whisper from the GP. No incentive payments for it. All sorted privately because I can't be bovvered with the barriers to GP/NHS care presently in place.

NewName122 · 25/10/2023 22:32

Yanbu. My gp surgery is on 2 levels with screens that are linked so show the same message in both waiting areas and will flash up 'LAUREN PRICE WITH NURSE SMITH IN ROOM 2' when your turn. No confidentiality at all. Not my name BTW.