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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Woken by neighbour's motorbike 3.30am each morning

131 replies

Moonshinestarlight · 25/10/2023 04:45

I'm not sure if there is a solution to this but it is killing me. In the past month or so neighbour has been leaving home at 3.30am every morning- presumably for work. They leave on a motorbike that is waking me. I have to get up at 5am and just cannot get back to sleep so it means I'm starting my day at 3.30am every single morning. I am exhausted and it's affecting me mentally and emotionally. I tried wearing earplugs but need to be able to hear my children in case they need me in the night so that's not an option. Nor is moving to a different bedroom.

I will try speak to my neighbour but not sure what they'll say as understandly they need to leave at that time. It's just the motorbike is so loud and it's having a significantly detrimental impact on me. I just want to cry.

Anyone have any advice?

OP posts:
underneaththeash · 25/10/2023 08:26

MatthewsMumFromTikTok · 25/10/2023 07:45

He's not 'a selfish prick'

Well he is, because he's chosen a mode of transport which wakes up his neighbours at some ridiculous time in the morning.

I'd take to him and see if he will push it down the road for a bit.

SíDoMhamóí · 25/10/2023 08:29

Come at it a different way. Go to bed earlier, maybe 30 minutes earlier. Expect to be woken up and rather than fuming when it happens, view it as a time to reflect gently. Revel in being snuggled up. Just rest your eyes and your brain. It's rest time. I had a similar problem and over time I've made my peace with it. I still get woken up but don't become automatically enraged. I kind of stay sleepy. It took a while.

BusterGonad · 25/10/2023 08:32

ChocolateCakeOverspill · 25/10/2023 06:10

Because they don’t drive a car / can’t afford a car / don’t have access to public transport at that time of day / needs to work at that time of day. I’m sure there are other possibilities too.

Show quote history

Not really true, you can ones that aren't so loud. There is no excuse to have a loud revving motorbike.

AnxiousPangolin · 25/10/2023 08:32

underneaththeash · 25/10/2023 08:26

Well he is, because he's chosen a mode of transport which wakes up his neighbours at some ridiculous time in the morning.

I'd take to him and see if he will push it down the road for a bit.

Show quote history

Don’t be ridiculous. You have no idea why the neighbour rides a bike. Not everyone can swan around in a Tesla.

PoachedEggSandwich · 25/10/2023 08:41

BusterGonad · 25/10/2023 08:32

Not really true, you can ones that aren't so loud. There is no excuse to have a loud revving motorbike.

Show quote history

Who said its loud and revving? A noise at 3.30am will sound louder than 3.30pm because there's nothing else going on to muffle the sound.
Same for a diesel engine in a car, or van.

BusterGonad · 25/10/2023 08:44

It's obviously loud as its waking up the Op. If it wasn't loud she/he wouldn't be waking up.

WTLife · 25/10/2023 08:44

A car would wake most people up at that time too. Not much you can do.

BusterGonad · 25/10/2023 08:46

A quote from the Op 'It's just the motorbike is so loud and it's having a significantly detrimental impact on me. I just want to cry.'
Some motorbikes are extremely loud, I had a neighbour who actually drilled holes in the exhaust to increase the noise. Some people have no regard for anyone but themselves.

dicedicebaby · 25/10/2023 08:53

shellyleppard · 25/10/2023 06:31

Can they not roll it round the corner/away from house before starting it up??

And wake someone else up instead 😂

PoachedEggSandwich · 25/10/2023 08:55

I know bikes CAN be loud. I ride one. I get advisories with my baffle IN. That's why I don't do early morning rides, but equally I have a car I can use.

I'm in a cul de sac, bungalows, with bedrooms at the front. I leave at 5.30am some days, as does my husband. Guaranteed my NDN will hear us leave, not because we're selfish people, but because opening shutting of doors, starting of engines and driving off, will make noise enough to wake people who are sleeping at the front of an abode, because it's really quiet at that time of morning and sound carries.

Imperfect10 · 25/10/2023 08:56

Motor bikes are loud and this is very annoying but he presumably is going to work... and has no choice.
My next door neighbour has the quietest electric car possible....it still wakes me up when he leaves for work at 4....because there is literally no other noise....I know that I am and have always been a light sleeper.
The only way I can cope is to practice being calm and accepting.....eventually I doze off ready to be up at 6am ...if you can alter your mindset it will be less awful.

Whalewatchers · 25/10/2023 08:58

This reminds me of my previous neighbour who used to start his work van at 5am after opening and slamming shut the side door. Some people are truly incapable of thinking of other people. Thankfully they moved and the new neighbour sets off early in their electric car, not that I know it!

OP this is a tough one as what can they do? Other than replace it with a car or an electric bike, neither of which they might be able to afford.

soberfabulous · 25/10/2023 08:58

My husband has a very loud motorbike which he thankfully only rides at the weekend.

He also leaves the house super early. He pushes the bike down the street and starts it away from the houses. If your neigbour is amenable this could be an option.

Also on ear plugs: I am the world's lightest sleeper and wear ear plugs every night. I can still hear my daughter.

Whalewatchers · 25/10/2023 09:00

SíDoMhamóí · 25/10/2023 08:29

Come at it a different way. Go to bed earlier, maybe 30 minutes earlier. Expect to be woken up and rather than fuming when it happens, view it as a time to reflect gently. Revel in being snuggled up. Just rest your eyes and your brain. It's rest time. I had a similar problem and over time I've made my peace with it. I still get woken up but don't become automatically enraged. I kind of stay sleepy. It took a while.

Ah come on, 3.30am is the middle of the bloody night. 30 minutes earlier to bed will do sweet FA.

SoShallINever · 25/10/2023 09:00

We have this with a neighbour's yowling cat.
It goes on for at least an hour. Bloody annoying.

Sparklfairy · 25/10/2023 09:03

MidnightOnceMore · 25/10/2023 06:21

You can train yourself to go back to sleep. People do this very successfully. The first step is to change your mindset so practice saying 'I can fall back asleep when woken up in the night".

Unfortunately unless the bike is illegally loud, I'm not sure you can do anything as he's going to work.

Tell me you've never had insomnia without telling me you've never had insomnia...

Trickytimer · 25/10/2023 09:05

It’s terrible timing for you OP with you then having to get up 90 minutes later 😞not sure what the answer is.

Oakbeam · 25/10/2023 09:06

There is a legal limit if 89db

That is still pretty loud. It will sound louder in the middle of the night.

ActDottie · 25/10/2023 09:08

Yanbu. I’d speak to them. Do you think there are other neighbours impacted by this. It could be worth speaking to them also.

If your neighbours are reasonable people they should do things to try prevent them disturbing you.

Honeychickpea · 25/10/2023 09:09

BusterGonad · 25/10/2023 04:58

Why would anyone have a loud motorbike when they work early mornings? What a selfish prick.

Most likely because they can't afford a car.

ItsThatTimeAgainXmas · 25/10/2023 09:11

MinnieL · 25/10/2023 04:53

Realistically, what would you like your neighbour to do if their motorbike is their mode of transport? Push it down the road, round the corner and when they’ve got the all clear finally start the engine? It’d be U for you to even talk to them about it imo.

How old are your children? I’d suggest wearing ear plugs and getting the children to come to your room and shake you gently to wake you up if the need anything. Or if they’re little, I’d be putting ear plugs in around 3am so that I know I’m covered for two hours. Doubt that will work though if you can’t go back to sleep from 3:30

Wtf? Such a weird response. OP of course you are within your rights to talk to them
They might have no idea its so loud. They can do loads about it- change the exhaust back to the standard one, put baffles back in that they may have taken out and push it down the road a bit. They may have a car they could take instead. Of course you should talk to them and any reasonable person would take it on board and do something about it. It might also hopefully be a short term work situation, but you won't know til you talk to them.

hattie43 · 25/10/2023 09:12

Why are people bending over backwards suggesting it's up to OP to find her own solution. This bike is waking up the neighbourhood at an unsocial hour . It's up to this bike owner to realise social norms and responsibilities. Don't do it . It's not fair . Anti social behaviour including noise are the scourge of modern society and with everyone living on top of each other it leads to fall outs , bad relationships and in some cases violence.
Sleep is a human necessity for health and well-being .
The person needs to find quieter transport , work closer to home so he cycles or walks , move to a shift or job that doesn't mean waking his neighbours every bloody morning .

DiscoBeat · 25/10/2023 09:15

I would talk to him, definitely. But not in a confrontational way - just let him know that you appreciate he needs to get to work but it's waking you up every day and probably others too, and is there anything he can do to keep the noise down.

HeavenKnowsIamMiserableNow · 25/10/2023 09:19

We had a neighbour who left very early, he wasn’t inconsiderate, just early.

I reframed it as, ooooooh I am still in bed cosy and warm and you are not, you poor thing. Then I would roll over and grab another few hours.

OhBeAFineGuyKissMe · 25/10/2023 09:21

hattie43 · 25/10/2023 09:12

Why are people bending over backwards suggesting it's up to OP to find her own solution. This bike is waking up the neighbourhood at an unsocial hour . It's up to this bike owner to realise social norms and responsibilities. Don't do it . It's not fair . Anti social behaviour including noise are the scourge of modern society and with everyone living on top of each other it leads to fall outs , bad relationships and in some cases violence.
Sleep is a human necessity for health and well-being .
The person needs to find quieter transport , work closer to home so he cycles or walks , move to a shift or job that doesn't mean waking his neighbours every bloody morning .

We don’t know it is waking up the neighbourhood - just that it is waking up her.

If the neighbour is amenable he might be able to do something about the sound, but then again he might not. Suggesting he change jobs to one with a later start isn’t going to go down well! He doesn’t need to find quieter transport as he isn’t the one with the problem. He is riding a perfectly legal mode of transport (so long as he hasn’t drilled holes in exhaust etc…).

So it the the OP’s problem and one for her to solve. Speaking to him and seeing if the noise can be reduced, but I suspect he would wake up to a car as well, especially if it is at the same time and she is now primed to wake up then.

Learning techniques to help go back to sleep, reduce the impact of the sound in the room are all with her control.