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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To counterfeit my daughters Christmas presents?

259 replies

Wazzitnow · 24/10/2023 21:21

OK, so she's into some obscure person ATM. Shes autistic and her people of interest changes bi yearly.

Right now it's this person who has a clothing range that is only available in the USA and is crazy expensive. $100 for a hoodie "$40 for a Tshirt type thing.

She's never seen his merch in real life and it's really cheap iron on kind of stuff.

And his inside label tag is very simple.

I have a printing machine and could very easily forge the items and make the label for inside the collar too.

I don't want to spend that much money on some obscure Tshirt with 1 word on just for the label.

But in true autistic teen style this is all she wants.

I'd get charged import fees too.

It's unlikely she would ever know because ei doubt she will ever come across a real piece of merch from him

And the style he has along with the label he has means it would be super easy to make and there would really be no way for her to know.

I wouldn't be selling them obviously. Just a few items, couple of Tshirts and a hoodie for her.

Would be around £35 quid instead of £200+!

And I know she won't be into him by summer either which makes me even more reluctant.

OP posts:
EtiennePalmiere · 24/10/2023 22:38

Of course ! I know someone who's mother would buy Lacoste polo shirts in charity shops, rip off the alligator patch and sew it on a brand new but no-name polo.

Candymay · 24/10/2023 22:40

ColouringPencils · 24/10/2023 21:43

I am not sure. If it's the one thing she wants and it is the price you would spend on her overall present, I would get the real thing. If it's too expensive, I would explain it is too much. I don't like the idea of lying or tricking her, and if she finds out she might feel stupid/cheated, which would be worse than just not getting her it in the first place.

I totally agree with this. I am surprised that so many people are saying do it. I could not trick my child. Especially as she would be so excited.
could you explain that you are happy to make her the same items? So that she can wear the clothes she wants without having to import them?
if it were me I’d buy them for her.

JaneGainsborough · 24/10/2023 22:41

ThingsBeingVarious · 24/10/2023 21:31

No, you shouldn't rip off somebody else's work. I design and make stuff that sells online and I'm so sick of this shit.

If the OP were setting up an Etsy store to sell knock-offs, I would totally agree with this. However, this is for her child and her child alone, I think that she's in the clear.

Echobelly · 24/10/2023 22:43

For those saying 'don't rip it off' - it sounds like this is products that are overpriced and unoriginal so I'd have no compunctions over counterfeiting it, especially if you're not even making money off it.

JaneGainsborough · 24/10/2023 22:44

Nn9011 · 24/10/2023 22:16

Just a reminder counterfeit items are usually made by people on very little of any money, usually it's child labor and the money is used to traffic drugs, people, guns etc. It's not victimless.

Did you actually read the OP? She will be counterfeiting the item herself, not buying a knock off!

MsRosley · 24/10/2023 22:47

Needmorelego · 24/10/2023 21:56

My daughter is also autistic (obviously that in no way means she is similar to your daughter) but she has wanted a few obscure and expensive things from America too.
I simply told her that we couldn't get them because they were in America and the company that sells wouldn't send them here.
She accepted that.

This. Autistic or not, sometimes the simplest thing is to hear the words, 'sorry, that's just not going to be possible given our budget'.

GlomOfNit · 24/10/2023 22:50

ThingsBeingVarious · 24/10/2023 21:31

No, you shouldn't rip off somebody else's work. I design and make stuff that sells online and I'm so sick of this shit.

She's not doing it with the aim of selling it on and ripping off the original designer and she's not mass-producing. I agree about people copying and selling your designs - not on. This is very different.

Oohmontydon · 24/10/2023 22:50

I'd do it. The influencer is ripping off people if it's that's basic because from what you describe, there is no skill involved to warrant his/her prices.

Annoyingfly · 24/10/2023 22:52

Nn9011 · 24/10/2023 22:16

Just a reminder counterfeit items are usually made by people on very little of any money, usually it's child labor and the money is used to traffic drugs, people, guns etc. It's not victimless.

Sigh. Not what's being proposed here. Your high horse can go back to grazing.

GlomOfNit · 24/10/2023 22:58

Nn9011 · 24/10/2023 22:16

Just a reminder counterfeit items are usually made by people on very little of any money, usually it's child labor and the money is used to traffic drugs, people, guns etc. It's not victimless.

I don't think you've read the OP properly. She is NOT aiming to get a counterfeiter to make it for her (do they do one-offs to order??) but is going to print it herself - DIY.

And as copyright enfringement goes, making a plain t-shirt with a generic font one-word slogan on front sounds pretty ok to me! This isn't something of high artistic value she's ripping off...

Beautiful3 · 24/10/2023 22:58

Yes I would do it. Crack on! Hope it turns great and she loves it.

caringcarer · 24/10/2023 22:58

I think as you're not trying to sell it to others and your DD is not likely to find out from SM then if it will make her happy then do it.

caringcarer · 24/10/2023 22:59

Hibambinos · 24/10/2023 22:34

I received a fake care bear when I was a child. My mum couldn’t afford a real one, so a friend who made bears did a replica. I had no idea. Now I can see it looks nothing like the real ones - but I loved it and it was a great gift. I actually still have the ragged poor thing, 40 years later!
I am not traumatised, I don’t hate my mother and I have never need counselling for care bear trigger points - your dd will be fine!!

My DD still has her Lovealot bear.

Fossie · 24/10/2023 23:01

lamalamalamasquirrel · 24/10/2023 22:25

You're lying to your child and for no good reason.

This

Annoyingfly · 24/10/2023 23:02

Fossie · 24/10/2023 23:01

This

Show quote history

Did you teach yours about Santa?

keffie12 · 24/10/2023 23:14

My own thoughts here to counteract those saying it is wrong are these

You are making one T-shirt. You are not knocking out tops and making money out of them. It's for your daughter.

People are asking, "Are you doing it cos she is autistic?" The answer to that is I think you put it in for context because of the obsessional side, of.

I am neurodiverse so get you saying it and why.

Just do it. There will come a time you will probably have to lay put for something ridiculously expensive, so take the wins you can

Xmasbaby11 · 24/10/2023 23:17

I’d be wary of going down this track and would just say no, and buy the other stuff. It just wouldn’t sit right lying to her.

I can see why you’d be tempted but I think it’s fine to say no to some requests.

Peachy2005 · 24/10/2023 23:18

Just say no. I told my DD no way for any prom dresses from America. Yes they may deliver here but with import taxes/items getting held at Customs and no practical prospect of returning anything, it was just a hard No.

But your DIY solution sounds fun too!

CosimoPiovasco · 24/10/2023 23:21

Gosh.
Wish I’d thought of this

Amiep1 · 24/10/2023 23:21

Obviously you know your daughter better than anyone. I don't think there's anything wrong with doing what you're suggesting.

Another option would maybe be telling her your budget for presents, be honest and say I'm spending this much on presents, the merch costs this much. If you really want it I will spending most/all the budget on that but I can't then get you xyz you also want, and let her choose. If you don't think this would work with your daughter that's fine, it might just be a good way of showing her it is expensive and teaching her a bit about budgeting along the way. Hope you get it sorted 🙂

TheSquareMile · 24/10/2023 23:23

What does the original merchandise look like?

I honestly can't imagine who it would be, but then I'm not her age.

WTLife · 24/10/2023 23:23

I'd just tell her that if she gets that, she will only get 2-3 gifts for Christmas because it's very expensive. My autistic child can understand that concept. It's also a valuable lesson.

You're also then not likely to be breaching copyrights.

JaneGainsborough · 24/10/2023 23:27

WTLife · 24/10/2023 23:23

I'd just tell her that if she gets that, she will only get 2-3 gifts for Christmas because it's very expensive. My autistic child can understand that concept. It's also a valuable lesson.

You're also then not likely to be breaching copyrights.

What does 'breaching copyrights' matter? Who's going to find out?

BOOTS52PollyPrissyPants · 24/10/2023 23:29

You sound like a wonderful caring mum and it is lovely that you will go to all the trouble to make these items that you said are so overpriced and custom charges and could be difficult to also get them around this time of the year. Yes make them and you will feel so satisfied and she will be delighted and you also said she will be onto something else in few months. My son bought loads of stuff and never even wore sitting in wardrobe and they were not cheap. Good luck and hope all goes well and she is happy.

WTLife · 24/10/2023 23:30

JaneGainsborough · 24/10/2023 23:27

What does 'breaching copyrights' matter? Who's going to find out?

Show quote history

Highly unlikely anything will happen but, every now and then, someone at the bottom of the tree has been made an example of, just to discourage this sort of thing.

I don't care personally if OP does it. It's just not my style. I would rather be honest with my child and explain Christmas budgets and that they can have this item or three others, up to them. (And no, for the person who asked above, I didn't lie to my kids about Santa either. )